I have a problem, how is she going to become the worlds best cook! If she can only share her ideas with a handful of people and most them are either related to her or 'friends' ( signed up to her fb, to watch her chaos every tuesday). She once showed off to a public stage the size of glasto and now she has to settle for a wet weekend off season in butlins.
Jack Monroe #567 Wibble wibble, little mouse, thief who tried to grift a house
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If she sleeps like that on her stomach, bum in the air, how come in her sleeping on her back pics her back is arched backwards? Almost like they’re all bullshit, isn’t itI think this is genuinely a bae or whoever caught me sleeping as she looks all droopy faced like she is dribbling on the duvet and snoring ha also Coops is front and centre waiting for the bae photographer to leave the room so he can start eating her face in revenge for all the vile slops and nudie pics he has been forced into over the years
It’s ancient. Pre Mr Boogly, so before August 2015
Going by that utterly ludicrous bouffant hairdo and the BUTCH leather, it looks like right after Leggy dumped her stupid ass and sent her scampering back off to Southend to look for handypersons, osteos, butchers and cocktail barpersons (NOT for her).
Here’s another airing of her trendy waistcoat, from the one time she deigned to drag herself out of her bed nest to do ACTIVISM. head.
ETA just remembered a third…off to find the pic!
ETA one more! Petit Cochon Yachtgirling it up with Big Lin. She proper got her money’s worth out of that trendy waistcoat in June-Aug 2015. New hair in this one tho. And a trendy new hat.
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Pretending to drink a pitcher of Pimms. What delightful larks. Aren't I a kook? 
Vom.
Vom.
TFW you’re reactivating your second Facebook account with a 9 year old photo to avoid being
ed via your eyepee addresss.Both those things can be true at the same time.
this squig in her FB comments is taking the piss, surely?
Anyway, this version by @Captainmouse will always be the BEST EVER
I suddenly absolutely believe the Mr Security at the airport skateboard strap story. I just believe that it was her who pointed it out to him and asked his opinion. Those guys are the most hardened sardonic sourpusses in uniform.
guest: Hi! Don’t forget to check my board, man hahahaha! What you think of my strap idea, eh? Eh?
Mr Security: Hmm. You should totally patent that Miss I mean Sir wait WHAT ARE YOU? [runs away to hide in the Interrogation Room, shooketh]
guest: Hi! Don’t forget to check my board, man hahahaha! What you think of my strap idea, eh? Eh?
Mr Security: Hmm. You should totally patent that Miss I mean Sir wait WHAT ARE YOU? [runs away to hide in the Interrogation Room, shooketh]
She looks like she's levitating at a seance in that pic
Wicked witch of Thorpe Bay.
Is SB still earning pocket money for managing her social? Times must have been tough for him the last few months.
Imagine poor SB doing his exams in a couple of years and seeing thatGcse English language is approaching & I had to go through this paper with one of the kids yesterday. Yep, the Jack comprehension. It is without doubt the most tit exam paper I have ever seen and the question itself is a joke.
So they first have to read this boring wank fest.
View attachment 2837658
Note btw all the ‘I’ & usual Jack self obsession. Why the exam board didn’t set a good question for this drivel is beyond me-I’d be able to spend hours on a question like ‘evaluate the writer’s sense of self absorption and the validity of her claims’.
Instead, we got this. I wish I was making this up.
View attachment 2837663
Tries to show how others are affected? Or invents an anecdote about imaginary friends whilst humblebragging & exploiting her son by dragging him into her boring, needless bullshit story designed to sell a tit book & get attention at any cost?
I suggested we read through the text & highlight anything that mentioned ‘other’ people as asked by the question. This reminded me of Jack’s scant portion sizes. Literally-try it. Even the ‘different people were asking ME every day if I-(yes lil old me) would put them into a cookbook’ is ultimately about Jack, not about other people. Certainly not about other people who actually exist. The imaginary morons Jack invents for her gullible stans to sell the idea that her tit recipes are needed or wanted.
We ended up with hardly anything to say so I consulted the mark scheme and again, this was a pile of tit.View attachment 2837669
They’re all basically dragging the barrel to avoid saying the glaringly obvious fact: this writer isn’t crafting a decent piece of writing or doing anything to help others. The last one is hilarious: ‘the impact on others is ultimately seen in those who end up buying her book’ (her paypigs then? Also, we know all about the impacts. A bin full of wasted food, a lingering honk & the shits).
I have to wonder if the person writing this exam paper was deliberately trolling Jack with that question. The girl I was teaching actually said ‘but this makes no sense-it’s all about her’
Speaking of, here she is summoning demons
Which is exactly how this cake got “made”
to 
Right? He won't even be able to buy himself a broken, used camera or a chess set with all the white pieces missing, or whatever other sad little trinkets he used to get for birthdays whilst mum was treating herself to Vivienne Westwood dresses and Burberry bags.
Even if she got him the best presents she can’t ever admit to it because she was so busy grifting as he grew up. Either way it’s a terrible look.
Homeless trainers = pov ruby slippers.
But…View attachment 2838676
When was Google invented? Judging by this begging shite it must have been after July 2015
Can’t you just do it yourself with your expert needlecraft skillz?
or did you put your sewing down for the night back there in December 2012 and never pick it up again?
come to think of it, why do you need a handyperson?
Don’t your ROUGH HEWN HANDS do all that shite?
Thinking on it again, probably best you get a tailor for your “simple clothing repairs” after all.
Felicity Cloake getting all up in guest's niche today. Sadly, no mention of Jack Monroe in the expert recipes consulted, nor a whiff of lemon curd anywhere to be found,
www.theguardian.com
How to make the perfect Greek avgolemono soup – recipe | Felicity Cloake's How to make the perfect ...
Both tantalising and restorative, zesty and creamy, this Greek take on chicken soup hits all the right notes and is perfect for Easter
www.theguardian.com
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