Would not surprise me one bit if this woman even took pictures of her own shits because she thought they were superior to everyone else’s
Jack Monroe #541 First do no honk
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Reminder that Help to Save accounts are still available for a medium-term pot, if you work and get a top up from working tax credits or uc (earning over 658 or some such which I think is 14 hr pw). Massive equivaient interest rate, basically £5 back for every £3 paid in over the 4 years. (Like 20% annually)£1150 at a savings rate of 4.75% (pretty easy to get now) would be:
£1204.62 next year.
£1261.84 year 2
£1321.78 year 3
In year 3 with a broken strap, biro marks and the marks of use, the perpetually available bayswater might be worth £50 max if the person buying it is not in need of a strap and likes pen graffiti.
So we've bought the bag to shield us from, ironically, the poverty of overconsumption.
Make it, make sense.
Though, for anyone who may have a little spare they could save, or a smol lump, look at the regular savings accounts which are paying in some cases 6-7% pa. They don't mount up quick because of the smol savings limits but it's a fab rate. Even if you manage to get yourself £1000 of emergency fund saved, and got a 4.8% rate, you'd be paid £48 a year interest, which works out as £4 a month "salary" that some money is earning for you. No effort on your part. Even if you had £500, enough for a new emergency washing machine, it would earn you £2 a month. For sitting there waiting for a crisis to help with. These aren't huge numbers, but they get really useful if you can keep it adding more over time. If you had £10k saved, you could be getting £40 a month for nothing. It's like an imaginary worker doing an extra minimum wage half day a month for you. I find it very motivating. You can start with £10 if that's all there is spare.
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Hold on - maybe she thinks being owned by her will make it valuable again. Like how idiots will pay a fortune for a signed football shirt or whatever.
Oh this bag? Why's it on a plinth, you ask? Yes well it was once owned by the great TV chef and champion of the poor, Dr. Dr. Jack Monroe PhD PhD! Yes I know, I couldn't believe my luck! To think, her saintly heavily tattooed butch hands once fondled these very flaps - hands that had tattoos and made food for her lover and made love and worked 200 hour weeks to bring us the Vastly Bloated Insanity! Yes, that's Sainsbury's Basics whisky you can smell - but get a little closer and you'll get the soft, peripatetic scent of scant chickpeas (3p/100g) and plenty of black pepper! Yes, it was extremely expensive but well, it was an investment, you know. The V&A wanted it but I snapped it up because She Does So Much Good. Look inside - genuine pumble crumbs! Oh, but no, don't touch that bit- you'll smudge the biro doodles! I know, it's charming isn't it. It says "more jam mummy jam and bread mummy", isn't that adorable? Here, I'll pop it back in the humidor. Must make sure and preserve the integrity of those fingerprints - I'm told it's the only record in the world of hummus made with beetroot AND prunes! Sell it? I could never. Well... what were you thinking? I've got my eye on a cheeky Burberry scarf that's still stained from the puddle and is rumoured to contain genuine dried satsuma peel and table salt (2p, Asda Essentials)...
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And never a generous word for anyone in her supposed field. She never even gave kudos to Nigella until and unless Nigella mentioned her. Nasty and bitter about That Man. The not so subtle implication with her outburst about him was that it was a man stealing a womans work as if Jamie hasn't had a career pre dating hers, his own show and books that actually get used. I'm indifferent to him myself but he seems like a hard grafter who knows his stuff. That 15 minute meals book was everywhere, it was like every house had a copy. I don't enjoy cooking but I love Nigel Slaters books, the sheer joy he gets from food jumps off the page and you're never going to get that with her penny pinching stripped down 17p per portion workhouse fare. As a niche its pretty dead end even if her recipies worked. She's utterly redundant in cookery since the flop of grifty kitchen.
It just occurred to me that I’ve never once seen guest expressing concern for any specific person? There’s the general ‘be kind to the poors’ but actually looking at it even that is almost always just through her example. She has mentioned her son but again, it’s more related to how she feels about things.
Given all her media appearances it just seemed a bit odd, really. Anyone can say ‘be nice to a nameless generic mass’, Miss World style, but it says more if there’s something measurable and specific that you feel for.
Given all her media appearances it just seemed a bit odd, really. Anyone can say ‘be nice to a nameless generic mass’, Miss World style, but it says more if there’s something measurable and specific that you feel for.
(While I’m here, the thing to do with iced gems is hold them by the sugar swirl and dunk the base in a hot brew until it stops fighting, which is longer than a hobnob.)
Nigel Slater is great! He’s such a vivid writer and he’s generous to other writers. I think he had some hand in getting Nigella on the map.
Oliver is a bit irritating but his recipies do work and he obviously felt very strongly about the school meals stuff- I’m pretty sure that pre-dated guest although I may be wrong? I used his budget fortnight meal plan which was free, you just have to sign up for an account. And it was all really tasty and planned out how to use up leftovers and the like.
The exasperating thing is, if you really care about access to cheap food above all you should be pleased if more chefs start producing relevant recipies that these people can use! And she can’t claim novelty given the Pauper’s Cookbook, Delia etc, dabbled in it years ago.
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Somewhere upthread, she lay on the sofa stark bollock naked with this marmite concoction dipping cheese in it....bleurgh.
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Here, under the spoiler. Truly double bleurgh.Either that or
lying naked on the sofa dipping cheese slices in melted butter
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SS originally by @Nottonightbabe and @People-huv-tae-know
Just realised that this was the first time she compared herself to a Ruben painting AND she yet again called herself butch. Not an original thought in her head. She's such an attention-seeking tedious twit.
The only way she could upstage a bride is by that nose blocking her out her own wedding photos. I'm sure we'd have heard all about it if she ever was a wedding guest. She'd have done a goalie dive for the bouquet with her hands covered in superglue for a start. Tell everyone she could've made the wedding cake for £1.45. Crashed the 1st dance in her leotard. Tell everyone the bride and groom have requested any kind gifts of money be collated through her PayPal please.
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I hate the way she uses her hands when she talks, its very unnatural. Like she's practiced it in a mirror. You can't say anything to the students you ego maniac clown. You would never have gotten near a uni on merit or hard work. You do not belong there. You are a fraud and a scammer leeching off peoples good intentions.Any fans of Weeds? The jacket always makes me think of Dean Hodes when he went into biker phase.
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Even the tomato is desperately unhappy. It looks like it died in the fridge and got resuscitated.
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Fill your little worlds up?! Patronising bleeping wanker.
Good call, Valio, on the football playersI wouldn’t have thought of it!
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'High heels and higher hemlines' clearly pilfered from somewhere. Also where? Have never seen her in a short skirt even though she's proud enough of her pins to post them in her grundies. 'Firebrand' must be code for used the death of his disabled child to point score over a grieving father cos she hasn't done anything else that's rocked any political boats.
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So so sorry for your loss lovely. Cats are such amazing and special creatures, but it’s always a worry when they go out
Make sure you have plenty of rest today, cry as much as you need to, and we are here if you need some support, or a rant or whatever else. You did the most humane and kindest thing that any of us can do for their pets in ending their suffering, and stop the pain for them.
Not just my household then!Soooo tempted
Why the duck do these things exist? Where would you store them? And also, in my house, I’d give it one bowl of cereal useage before one of necks gets snapped off
Bloody ridiculous. Just like Jack really. HONK!!
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If my twelve year old self could see I grew up to be her I’d have unalived myself on the spot. I didn’t fulfil what I hoped to do but good grief I’m doing better than creating vile “food” and stealing. I also have an intact nose.
The delusions she has never cease to shock and terrify me!
I’m so sorry for your kitty loss! It’s so frustrating that drivers aren’t more careful. I lost a buddy cat last year that way (not mine but he was a massive pervert and slightly fixated on my backpack in an unconventional way and I was fond of the little creep).
You were very brave and kind to be there for your cat while you were so upset
especially as it must have been so painful to see him hurt. Be gentle with yourself this week. 
"Likes high heels and higher hemlines." Funny sounding suit that.
No one is a bon vivant or gourmand at 103 pounds or whatever ridiculous weight she decided to dub herself.
I’m on holiday
so only dipping in when there is a random bit of Wi-Fi, but came here to fervently agree to your first point. Even when she (very rarely) shows sympathy online to a follower who’s struggling, it’s to publicly show she’s offering support eg ”I’ll send you a copy”, “I’ll contribute some £”. It’s always, always about her. Look at me, look at me!If you did it would look even more like SA on the dinosaur
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Omg it really does look like that now
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I’m so sorry.
it’s beyond belief isn’t it.
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