I just awoke from a dream about guset. She had her teeth on and I was trying to instruct her as to a recipe. I used the word “extrapolate”. I don’t know what the recipe was, hopefully no pumble.
Jack Monroe #541 First do no honk
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Dr Dr Monroe. So utterly thick that she thinks a singular work by Peter Paul Rubens is known as a Ruben. See also: a singular tweet by OJ (not a murderer) is a Jone, a much loved Victorian work of fiction is a Dicken and a solitary Oh Yeah (with deer) by a much loved Welsh singer is a Tom Jone.[ATTACH type="full" alt="Screenshot_20230909-223440_Chrome.jpg" said:
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57 and a half weeks’ worth of food shopping, tenderstem. Over a year’s worth of food. But with the whisky stains, biro doodling and broken strap, it’s going to be worth much, much more than she paid for it. Investment, you see.
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Yeah, it’s being mentioned as a Nigella thing waaaay back in 2012, a mere 8 years before the smol one attempted to pass it off as a ‘Maverick pixie recipe’. twit.
It really makes no sense whatsoever. My mum brought some back from her holidays, and it's staying in it's nice, bug free, hygienically sealed, moisture resistant packaging until we want some. Opening the packets and putting them in a jar would just instantly ruin it where we live. I only put things in containers or whatever once it's been opened, like rice or pasta.A large jar of decanted butterscotch Angel Delight. Nope, I have no bleeping clue why, either
Thinking about how cluttered and dusty the bungamansion must be makes me itch.
Imagine Jack strutting around Mindl Beach or Nightcliff with her longboard and man-clothes? Hehe.
Isn't Angel Delight like one serving in a packet? I don't get why you'd put it in a jar in the first place. I'm not a busy and important literal food expert so what would I know.
Won't be long now at the rate they are closing down farmers in Europe. Spoke to a good friend the other week and all his goats and all the others of surrounding farmers have been butchered because there is absolutely no money in it and the EU don't want small farmers any longer, so have made it impossible for them. As for what is going on in the Netherlands, it's an absolute scandal. All for their big fatcat corporate pals with their insects and fake meat. Our kids will be lucky to get real meat soon. No wonder kids are starting puberty at 4 with all the crap in food nowadays.
There is something to campaign about, Jack.
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The thorn birds, bloody hell. The book was better though, unlike Jack's.
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Got a spare room to rent?!
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Just realised I’ve been confusing The Thorn Birds with The Wild Thornberrys 
I had a bag of out of date Maltesers once. They were absolutely vile. Never managed to return to them. I blame guset. She would have ploughed ahead with them even though they were off, and used them to make an authentic chili con no carne, made with rinsed hoops and a smidgen of smoked parsley picked from a roundabout she couldn't go round for heat.I think it’s the boasting about wrecking something so massively expensive while claiming poverty is so frustrating to me
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I missed a lot of interesting abominations it seems, I was in today but just wombling around in distress as unable to find ready-salted Hula Hoops (there was a scandal with a policeman putting glass in them in the 80s when I was a kiddo, and I’m just feeling ready to recommit to them again
(At this distance the glass just adds a bit of a thrilling frisson to the whole experience.)
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Did it come with a very cheap pirate CD and an authentic tribal mask from sub-Saharan
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9? Was it a cover version?!!It’s so cringey isn’t it. I did wonder if she was trying to quote Fill My Little World by The Feeling (not Courtney Love’s band) but I googled and it came out nine years before this interview so it wasn’t exactly a contemporary reference.
Which I guess is kind of on brand for her
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When did she acquire bollocks? Must have missed that, what thread was it in?!Either that or
lying naked on the sofa dipping cheese slices in melted butter
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SS originally by @Nottonightbabe and @People-huv-tae-know
Just realised that this was the first time she compared herself to a Ruben painting AND she yet again called herself butch. Not an original thought in her head. She's such an attention-seeking tedious twit.
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I stand corrected re: Bridesmaiding - but bye the bye, Jack - gritting your teeth when you have more than the average
Strange how "nobody noticed or cared"* at her brother's wedding, but at other weddings she can't go alone** because she would "take attention away from the bride"?
*Nobody noticed, eh? Despite you making every attempt to draw attention by wearing your asshole suit. My word - that must have BURNED!
(Course, you're used to that, being a firefighter an' all . . . aren't you Jack?)**I'd put money on her being alone at her brother's wedding, too - even if she'd dragged some random Burgerboi or Butch Lezza along with her, the odds are that they'd have got fed up with her histrionics and joined some interesting people for a conversation.
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Or one of her many butcher-boy caps that's she's managed to afford by only eating half an ounce of smart price spaghetti a day for 20 years?
Fess up, who bought them?!
Perhaps you were mixing them up with "Iced Gems", and produced an exciting hybrid party treat?
Oh gods, we've enough weirdos up here without adding Jack to the mix. Fortunately, she'd be too terrified to go anywhere outside her hotel, thanks to the locals, who can be rather too much sometimes. Thinking of the Missionaries being chased around the bus depot being called balanda cunts, and imagining her reaction
I wish I was talented enough to change the "Y" in Peppa's expletive into an "F".BIRD’S TRIFLE
Oh! andView attachment 2437452Or SPITE trifle in the MonroeverseView attachment 2437448View attachment 2437449View attachment 2437450but I still make rank trifles and in dirty old light fittings that look like the dregs of ashtrays soaked in Guinness and beer runoff from the drip trays on the bar of a 1970s workingman’s club.View attachment 2437451 “The family trifle”why does she make everything sound so utterly bleeping rank.
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Butterscotch Angel Delight
Instant mash
And
Pale green breadcrumbs
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Double
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Haha oh no. I did have a restless night… *checks banking app*
Yes - but you have to respect that.
And? Was it you?!
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On the AE thread, somebody regularly posts what AE has bought on ebay. Anybody know how to do that for guset?? It could fill in some time until she returns....
It’s even older - it appears in How To Eat which was published in 1998
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