Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[I'm not actually here]

HUGE (Not gentle) apologies if I have added this quote incorrectly (Tech is not my strongest point) but I am befuddled and perplexed by Guests comments in her humble, not remotely boasting response to Mr Farrington and his AUDACITY to question Dr Guest.

• Is publishing a book considered a successful business enterprise? (Obvs if you're JK Rowling, yes, but Slopanory and the goblet of bile isn't quite the same is it?)
• If you are such a talented business person and you have ALL THAT going on, then surely you must be making some dosh or you wouldn't' consider yourself succesful?
• And if you then state that the implication that you are not earning your money honestly is not correct, then that means you admit you ARE earning money, no?
• So why the AF are you begging for money on 'tinternet and constantly claiming that you work 23h and 55 mins every day FOR FREEEEEEE?

Anyhoo, apologies once again of I have got the quote/insert incorrectly pasted.
Long time lurker, first time caller and all that.

Oh god. It's 1am and I just can't breathe.

Title nom: guest to win best selling author award: Slopanory and the goblet of vile.

Where's @FunnyFuneral? I'm ready.

 

[I'm not actually here]

I would LOVE SB to come on.

If you're reading SB, sign up and tell us what mummy's been up to and I'll post you a vape and a Sega Mega drive or whatever the kids are going wild for these days.

ETA dead at the "craft" business being called Bread and Jam. You stupid cunt, guest. Send crocheted coffinos

There's a crowdfunder right there. I'm in.

 

[slopalong cassidy]

I would LOVE SB to come on.

If you're reading SB, sign up and tell us what mummy's been up to and I'll post you a vape and a Sega Mega drive or whatever the kids are going wild for these days.

I don't think guest ever confiscated sb's vapes so he's probably just looking after all his friends' because he knows guest will ignore them on a Tuesday and mention them for content next time she's invited back on QT

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

We must be well overdue a chaos or self important tirade soon! Do we think Adrian has told her to stay quiet so he can protect t her few remaining bookings?

 

[I'm not actually here]

WTF. Very few men would wear cufflinks that say they are "cute". Talk about not understanding your target audience....

I thought it said buxom on the lower edge. Tell. Me. It. Doesn't. Please.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Dusty Aunt Helen who used to have a stack of More! magazines behind the bog. Guess she was flicking her gigantes plaki to Position of the Fortnight.

She said she had one other dusty elderly Greek Theia (Nina) so the magazines might have been her instead

 

[hoopdedoo]

Chetna Makan posted a gorgeous lemon and mango loaf cake on her YT channel today.

Clean, light, airy kitchen
Good camera work, lighting and sound (plus captions if anyone can't understand her accent)
Friendly, articulate presenting style with clear instructions
Allusions to family and friends loving the recipe
Decent, edible-looking cake at the end with a an interesting twist on a classice flavour

And her hands and fingernails are clean!

 

[I'm not actually here]

97 person AA meeting in her back garden.

The Musical Chairs 12-Step Dance and Dinner, catered by guest.

 

[hereforthechaos]

Can anyone explain what these bits are pls, I can’t make any sense of it…is the skeleton meant to be a serpent?? Or is it an alien? It’s hideous either way and I cannot get my head round why tf anyone would want this on their skin, let alone allow a child to see it
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I thought it was meant to be like the bone decorations in the capuchin crypts in Rome. It's not everyone cup of tea so I won't post an image

 

[griftalo]

Two teaspoons each of cumin and turmeric and a pinch of chili. No coriander, no garam masala (yes I know that’s a spice blend), no cardamon.

I bet the good people of Southend breathed a sigh of relief when she shacked up with Leggy so the ‘charity curry’ nights ended. They were probably tossing coins down at storehouse to see whose fate it was to go along to the next one.

I don’t think she knows what a teaspoon is tbh. There’s no way that had even two teaspoons of turmeric in. I bet she uses a teeny tiny spoon she stirs tea with - hence tea spoon.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She’s great. She used to own Julie’s Kopitiam in Glasgow, it was really nice.

She's got a place on Dumbarton Road now, also really nice!

 

[L3moning]

When I was a pov (and not just chronically skint as I am now) I would buy a tin of Happy Shopper rice pudding from the corner shop, I think it was about 10p*, and my children would have that cold for dinner.

*if only I had painstakingly kept records of what food cost back then, so I could forensically and repeatedly regurgitate my pov story in a manner that may rival guest's.

I prefer tinned rice pudding cold anyway.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Good grief. First time I've seen this.
That board looks like it has never been used.
People have been putting straps on trucks for years.
Mr Security did not tell her to patent it.
In the World of Monmoan, she genuinely believes that everyone is invested in her and watching her every move.
Thousands of people walk through airports but hey ho, Monroes got a board on her back and she's immediately singled out for praise for her life altering invention by Mr Security who takes time from his busy schedule to give her advice to help fill her coffers.
Amazing.

Where's Jimmy Nail when you need him?

I'll bet they thanked her for all she does, too.

She had THE LAST LAUGH, though, so that's us told.

 

[lilykestrel]

Seeing as the Fraus are in a kindly way, could someone explain Terrible to me please? I've hunted high and low for splains but can't find diddle. 🥹

here ya go tenderstem

https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...a-future-tv-career-aint-one.5441/post-1153406 (via Yel)

 

[Gnomic Gnome]

Remember, tenderstems, if you're nominating a thread title, please, please use the words 'thread title' somewhere in your post. I've seen a couple of cracking nominations this thread that probably won't get picked up because they were nominated with (from memory) 'Is it too early?' and 'Thread nom-noms'.

Spoiler: Boring explanation of why it matters

When setting up a new thread, by far the fastest way to find the winning thread title is to click the Most Liked Posts button at the top of the thread and then go through the pages using the browser's search facility to find the first mention of thread title that isn't the opening post. If a nomination doesn't have those words in it, it won't get found and so won't be used.

That’ll be me. Apologies! Thank you for the heads-up.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Cinamonn roast potatoes is a new one!

I assume this is her Cypriot grandmother? They put cinnamon in everything.

 

[plentyofpepper]

Or realised the pointlessness of life/wished he was near death

Or perhaps it was a payment of ransom so that his bowels may once again be free from the horror of slop?

 

[Cat Face]

I was literally about to post this! Jack’s skeleton tattoo makes me hoot every time it’s posted. It’s the melting arse cheek that does it for me. I reckon she feeds the tattoo artists slop before each session and she ends up with wonky lines because they keep stopping to clutch their stomachs in agony.

Got a right jump scare on Facebook this morning.

View attachment 2288707

ahahahaaaaaa!!! I did the same!! And check the name, it must be Borbora's niece

 

[Tabitha D]

Restaurant chef but has written a couple of recipe books and pops up a lot on cooking shows.

Ooh. British? Male? Accent? I’m dying to know.

 

[griftalo]

That guide by Ruby is how to write about food, guest. Extraordinary. I've never even heard of half the words, and I'm lactose-intolerant, but now I want to visit London and try all of them!!!

Get a tub of digestive enzyme capsules and go for it

I wish we could have 'flicking her gigantes plaki' as a thread title so I could laugh every time I saw it.
@Mr Krabs is always funny but she's outdone herself this time.
Ruddy, bloody genius.

Snorted laughing at this and nearly died inhaling a chicken flavour crisp.