Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[Florid Language]

She has a vape in her hand astride big Dave cannon

Candy Floss Blue or Canna Drip Strawberry (just to be edgy)?

 

[Captainmouse]

Instead it propelled her into over 500 threads on Tattle. Lol.

Shame we were her Audience

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Thanks to @VeniVidiVicki you can:
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It was part of this exchange:
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Thick as merde de cochon.

But she's right that the squig knows more than she does, even if she can't really see it.
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Omg bahaha how did I miss this! A curious slop indeed!

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And then do you throw it straight into the bin, or do you photograph it first?

 

[I'm not actually here]

Ruby Tandoh has just published her magnificent guide to ice cream in London on the Vittles substack. It's a real labour of love.

You can read the first of FOUR parts here without a subscription:

Beyond Gelato: A guide to London ice cream

The Vittles Ice Cream Project, by Ruby Tandoh

vittles.substack.com

• Jay Rayner** -- annoying, smug nepo baby, lefty chauvinist, with Monroe-esque thin skin & tendency to snark, to be avoided at parties
• Grace Dent***** -- best for a late-nite gossip sesh, after the punters have gone and the staff take over the dining room for drinks and a spliff
• Jimmy Famurewa**** -- too cool for school guy, probably lovely but seems too multi-talented not to be intimidating at the book signing (https://www.waterstones.com/author/jimi-famurewa/3284258)
• Faye Maschler**** -- intimidating and patrician, only to be admired from across the room while peaking over the top of the menu
• Tom Parker-Bowles*** -- ultimate nepo baby, seems harmless enough in a shaggy labrador kind of way, posh enough to be relatively decent and comfortable in his own skin
• Giles Coren* -- another nepo baby, with obnoxious, misogynistic entitlement and contrarian tendencies for clicks, avoid being in the same postcode if possible
• Jonathan Demario Nunn**** -- geeky food obsessive, might be a fascinating raconteur OR a pub bore who insists on giving the full run-down of every sandwich to be found within a 3-mile radius whether you want it or not

(*---***** = Tattle's version of the Michelin star ranking method)

That guide by Ruby is how to write about food, guest. Extraordinary. I've never even heard of half the words, and I'm lactose-intolerant, but now I want to visit London and try all of them!!!

 

[plentyofpepper]

I r

To repeat my earlier post: what fucking principles?

Thieving, mendacious, manipulative cunt.

VS Forensic frauen. We will get there eventually. How much would it cost to fly a banner across Essex saying "The Truth about Jack Monroe is on Tattle", out of interest?!!! Anybody got a plane?!

maybe Big Dave has one in the garage along with a cannon and a Harley D

 

[BlendedSlop]

Dusty Aunt Helen who used to have a stack of More! magazines behind the bog. Guess she was flicking her gigantes plaki to Position of the Fortnight.

Actual tears

 

[Landslide]

I am NOT carrying a bowl of slop pinned to my lapel . . .

Always carry a pumble

 

[griftalo]

It’s ok. Being an equal opportunity food-botherer she’s already sullied rice pudding

Spoiler: “Nursery-Soft Sloppy Comfort Food”WARNED.

View attachment 2288378Sloppy, soft, creamy, plump and rich. Yum!
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I think I may have found that “missing part” of the skeleton attached to a pelvis, for anyone who has “stray pots of cream lying around”. Also, guest hates her imaginary friends.

Spoiler: WARNED.

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Leftover Stollen (or Pannetone) Ice Cream, 22p [V]

If you have some leftover pannetone or stollen kicking about from the recent festivities and you’re wondering what to do with it, of course you can slice it and freeze it…

cookingonabootstrap.com

May a higher power smite her down for this ALONE! I have never seen such abominations presented as rice pudding. Rice pudding needs very simple ingredients but made lovingly - usually slowly.
plate no 1: how does she make everything look so gelatinous? This almost looks like tapioca (which I personally love) but made revolting.
Plate 2: for the love of whatever higher power, don’t use long grain rice and undercook for rice pudding. Rice and puddings everywhere deserve more respect.
Abomination 3: what the ever loving fuck is that? No one wants dry bread in the middle of whatever that is.
She makes me so angry.

Pondering her childhood, was she not allowed to do anything approaching adult skills? She can’t cook. Did overbearing mammy not let her in the kitchen? She doesn’t know how plumbing works. I think by 12 I was regularly bleeding the radiators in our home so they worked efficiently, which may have been not really something I should’ve been having to be doing (or not, I dunno), but wouldn’t she have seen someone do it at least once??
She at least appears on the surface to not be able to budget either. What did her parents teach her? Indulged and neglected at the same time I feel.

ETA nursery soft my arse!!!

 

[Verity Pushpram]

On this day...

2020
Jack was on her massive David Walliams rant.
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Jack isn't seen as sexy.
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2021
No tweets. Jack was in rehab and thread #196 spanned 11 days

2022
Jack had a partnership with Superdrug while condoning shoplifting.
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Someone snitch-tagged Superdrug and Jack replied:
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Honest to God, you're the absolute best. Thankyou for all you do.

 

[frostily]

Super glad to see all the new people & the threads alive but I don’t have time to grunk - has she actually done anything lately?

 

[mchops]

I'm really enjoying all the newbies, and molly I like your commitment to this account.
But the 4chan thing ? Really.
Let your self down there. Personal army? Never for anon .
Trololol tho.

 

[Dr.CM]

Just cringed myself inside out.

Oh and Schrodinger’s Single Mum:

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What a waste of precious world resources the printing of all that crap has been.
I thought she was concerned about ecological matters and waste?

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

You can never tire of Jack cringe. Once you’re a Tattler, your brain is just like - hey remember that one time with the woman of the year award?

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Or remember pirate Jack? Arr.

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Or you’ll be in a boring work meeting and suddenly remember that Jack has a soup recipe where one of the ingredients is a can of soup.

“Huffing in bed… feeling like a horror” what on earth… who talks like that?! Not even Jack really I’d bet

 

[Florid Language]

Currently on here you could pretend to be lee Anderson and people will buy it.
The back story is easy to look up, you'll need no proof and still get in
Eta; I'm suspicious on the internet always , people should be , soz tho if I'm being a grump about molly

I'm not paying attention to the details which is why I think guest gets away with so much.
I had no idea what 4chan was until you explained.
The name sounds like a martial arts chatroom for incels.
If it is somebody trolling then they've had a good laugh at our expense and probably consider it a win in their own heads.
Meh.

 

[rage naan]

Until she fell out with them, all her recipes are/were costed at Sainsbury’s prices, though she’s “reliably informed” you can get “similar products” to eggs, salt, sugar and cream at “other supermarkets” too. W

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Oh my god, it's the Platonic form of busywork.

 

[Copacapybara]

Foul. Like a misshapen pie cut open to reveal rotting and festering evil inside.

ETA: Slop is slop, but her attempts to create items with structural form always fail horribly or are clearly shop bought passed off as home-made.

A bit o’concrete’ll set that right

 

[griftalo]

It's the hip bones of the skeleton. These tattoos are of women shagging skeletons. It's a 'thing'. they make me wana puke, it's a 'goth' thing

But why? Has none of them stopped to think there is nothing left on that skeleton to shag with?? I may not be exactly normal with this but most things I see, I’m figuring out if they’d logistically work, or not, and all I see with these is - no penis!

 

[Nonah]

She was getting under her mum’s feet so she gave her a pointless task to do. Keeps her quiet.

Inexplicable Lime Era Jack. What a time to be alive.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Imagine of she had of mafe it on DKL. She could be known now as the artist formerly known as guest. Also My opinion on it all is this. No one wants to be the one to tell her NO. She had made a lot of people think she is teetering on the edge and no one wants to be the one that causes her to fall. She has no shame, a decent person would withdraw, rather than let a company deal with their personal shit show. Its clear from the statement they are keeping her on the bill, but it sounds like someone has MADE this possible. A frank word in someones ear, extra cash, endless talent for years to come....the statment isnt complimentary far from it, in fact i think its rather mean. They have stated she is far from being ideal to talk about this stuff and she needs to work on her mistakes. It actually sounds a bit like they are throwing her to the dogs. Imagine putting someone out on a stage in front of a braying crowd, only to be ridiculed or are they going the route of the last festival and bascially buying their guests to ensure heckling doesn't happen. She is literally is a festival car crash.

Don't worry. She has a stab jacket/bulletproof vest espesh for festis. And she always has the option to do a no-show - organisers are accustomed to that from her.

 

[StewPots]

2022
Jack had a partnership with Superdrug while condoning shoplifting.
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Someone snitch-tagged Superdrug and Jack replied:
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[/QUOTE]

“Never had any media training”…. Surely not?? I mean, she seems so organised in front of a camera, really calm and collected. And she really knows her PR stuff because she’s so lovely to everyone on Twitter. Even people who appear jealous of her and want to know where the money is… she’s so polite in her replies to them, and she’s so professional when dealing with dissenter!

Oh no, wait… apologies. Turns out Jack does the exact OPPOSITE of all this!

Sorry @MarmaladeAtkins I’m quoting part of your post and I don’t know if I’ve done it right! Been in and out of sleep all day. Fucking meds and fucking Tietzes. Oh and fucking guest obviously. All 3 make me very mad ( emotionally and mentally )!