Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[ChocolateMuffin]

Comic sans puts the rage in my naan, or brings it out, or something. It's so unnecessary

They're her protection cufflinks

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Has guest joined threads? I cba to set it up.

 

[Julia Edwards]

Sometimes I wonder if Jack is somehow from the Victorian era, between this and the SHOCKING EDGINESS of trousers and short hair on a woman, and the weird miserly soap-boiling behaviours.

Poor little Jacksie Crewe, tormented by evil headmistress Miss Minchin

 

[overdueanadventure]

Seeing as the Fraus are in a kindly way, could someone explain Terrible to me please? I've hunted high and low for splains but can't find diddle. 🥹

https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...critical-area-of-our-life.40154/post-15798784 Valiofthedolls posted a link to the bit in her post a couple of pages back.

 

[hereforthechaos]

I can see the tagline now:

This glorious conglomeration (sic) will have you radiating good health and back on your feet in no time.

I can hear the ad now, just prefix your tagline with
Bad Mental? Ouchies? Lights off? You need canal brand Pep Powder

 

[Seaford Haggington]

"Charity Curry Night" with the charity part a complete afterthought. Doing good playing second fiddle to producing slop.

 

[Katkat]

Has guest joined threads? I cba to set it up.

No sign so far

 

[griftalo]

Where I work there's always piles of the local listings magazines and we use them for keeping surfaces clean etc
The current pile I've been using is from a year ago so it's got all the festival content, and every time I get to this page I get cross, but then I use the page and forget about it, but then a few pages later is this page, and I get cross all over again. Rinse & repeat, like a sad baked bean

ETA this close up.of the caption grrrr

I laughed at this because woman on the right looks like oh nooo you put me next to her??!!

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

The Skeleton reminded me of the Skeleton from SuperTed. When I googled him, this came up. Who knew?
View attachment 2288249

He certainly was - as camp as boy Scouts Jamboree! (Are we still allowed to say that?)

 

[friedeggswithmetalfeagmen]

Did she scrape the oil off her malodorous fizzog with dermaplaning blade? Good Lard and Godbear and all that is holy. It's a good thing I don't feel like eating tonight because that's my tea well and truly ruined.

And Leggy doesn't have paper bits and other fire hazards stuck on or around her stove. So Jack, in out-Leggy-ing Leggy, Jack is showing her complete lack of kitchen knowledge.

Naw man sometimes a mindless puff bit of a book it just what we need. I read The Take by Martina Cole in a really hard time in my life and as shite as Coles writing is, the book gave me the mental check out I needed to get me through it.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Let’s all agree that the only dish guest can actually make is word salad.

View attachment 2287108

Inexplicable and incomprehensible word salad.

 

[hereforthechaos]

I've taken time out of my 100 hour work week to bring you some electroslop about one of my favourite past chaoses. You may need to adjust your volume, it sounded totes fine when I mixed it but when I imported it into the video it blasted out at about 344 decibels. Go well pals

Magnificent. I can't await for the greatest (s) hits album

Edited. I did a mild chaos

 

[MurielSnark]

Ruby Tandoh has just published her magnificent guide to ice cream in London on the Vittles substack. It's a real labour of love.

You can read the first of FOUR parts here without a subscription:

Beyond Gelato: A guide to London ice cream

The Vittles Ice Cream Project, by Ruby Tandoh

vittles.substack.com

EDIT: On London-based food critics:

• Jay Rayner** -- annoying, smug nepo baby, lefty chauvinist, with Monroe-esque thin skin & tendency to snark, to be avoided at parties
• Grace Dent***** -- best for a late-nite gossip sesh, after the punters have gone and the staff take over the dining room for drinks and a spliff
• Jimmy Famurewa**** -- too cool for school guy, probably lovely but seems too multi-talented not to be intimidating at the book signing (https://www.waterstones.com/author/jimi-famurewa/3284258)
• Faye Maschler**** -- intimidating and patrician, only to be admired from across the room while peaking over the top of the menu
• Tom Parker-Bowles*** -- ultimate nepo baby, seems harmless enough in a shaggy labrador kind of way, posh enough to be relatively decent and comfortable in his own skin
• Giles Coren* -- another nepo baby, with obnoxious, misogynistic entitlement and contrarian tendencies for clicks, avoid being in the same postcode if possible
• Jonathan Demario Nunn**** -- geeky food obsessive, might be a fascinating raconteur OR a pub bore who insists on giving the full run-down of every sandwich to be found within a 3-mile radius whether you want it or not

(*---***** = Tattle's version of the Michelin star ranking method)

Sorry, I tried to spoiler this post, with proper headlines etc. Apologies peeps.

 

[mchops]

I might be Jack. I’ve done nothing of value at work for ages.
I got bitten by a horsefly LAST WEEK and it’s still not healed. I was going to put a picture on Twitter to ask for advice but it’s on my arm and I can’t get my fanny in shot without doing myself a mischief.

I shall run a book on what will happen first - my horsefly bite healing or a chaos.

Currently on here you could pretend to be lee Anderson and people will buy it.
The back story is easy to look up, you'll need no proof and still get in
Eta; I'm suspicious on the internet always , people should be , soz tho if I'm being a grump about molly

 

[lilykestrel]

How dare she. Stay in your hole or show yourself, guest. Pick one. And when you do surface the matter of the Lee Anderson beg money will need answering, with receipts.

don't jinx it, she'll turn up with a spicy take about the Prince Harry hacking case or something, just as we're really pushing the envelope on thread pages

 

[Julia Edwards]

This?

View attachment 2286501

We found the exact article, thanks to Jack's screenshot, in The S*n.

Rereading Julia's post, I don't think this is what she's referring to. Sorry. Haha.

Yes this!! You’re a wonder!

 

[I'm not actually here]

I’m glad you brought this one up as it makes my teeth clench and my face go Wallace and grommit when I read her saying that! I did ballet at 5, I’m not an ex dancer either! Plus the muscle thing - do you think she sees muscles? It baffles me.

I shall repeat...ad infinitum.... She has deffo got a problem with her eyes.

 

[Russian Doll]

Thank you. Yes I need to do the mandatory reconsideration. Can’t face it . Dunno how to spoiler soz

If you could ever face it, Citizens Advice could help. It's a xxxxing intrusive process, stressful and they are [usually] v good at getting results. Xx

 

[Captainmouse]

I am NOT carrying a bowl of slop pinned to my lapel . . .

An inexplicable egg surely

 

[griftalo]

Also SKELETONS DON'T HAVE KNOBS

Apologies! I’ve posted similar just now without catching up first

Vile. Fish curry is not supposed to look like rice pudding with sultanas.

ffs don’t sully rice pudding with this association!! I might think of rice pudding now and imagine it tasting of gelatinous fish mayo or whatever that curry is. It’s definitely not korma - no turmeric has been near that for sure.

Jeez I never saw the original drawing before. That’s bad. Thing I can’t get over with the tattoo is what the hell is going on with the lady’s right arse cheek? It looks like she had a cheap BBL done in a rogue clinic in Mexico.

Anyway the piece as a whole is so childish isn’t it. Like “find what you love and let it kill you”. Reminds me of being 17 when I thought that Sisters of Mercy and the Manics had the answers to everything in life. Jack really is stuck in a teenaged mentality.
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I reckon they’re dried cranberries. So that’s fish and cranberry white curry. Not weird at all.

Agree with jollof rice but my fave bit of weird Jack food appropriation was when she claimed she’d been teaching prisoners how to make hot tamales with Doritos. I don’t even know where to start with that one.

Re bum cheeks - they’re flat to match hers