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MurielSnark

VIP Member
Hello

I've been reading the Jack Monroe threads for a while.

My Jack story is this:

I've known about and tracked Bootstrap Cook since the beginning. My own life was thrown into upheaval around the same time as JM came into public consciousness as I had to leave my job due to a very stressful situation that compromised my health. Since then, I've been on the rollercoaster of living on a very low income just as this coincided with the austerity era.

Over the last 10+ years, I've experienced it all --- going through the invasive benefits assessment processes, being wrongly removed from the system without warning, being migrated onto the (initially bureaucratically disastrous) Universal Credit, losing a long-term, happy, private tenancy & being thrust into the temporary accommodation hellscape. All while trying to obtain ongoing therapeutic mental health support (which doesn't really exist in the NHS) and experiencing both my physical and mental health getting worse and worse.

Currently, I'm in middle age, with no savings left, living in insecure, sh1tty temporary accommodation with no hope of a secure council tenancy in London, and years away from the carefully curated and busy career I once had.

I became interested in Jack because I was having to turn to food banks and looking for ways to live within the constraints of a meagre benefits income. Over the last decade, I've become much more knowledgeable about poverty in Britain, from a systemic standpoint alongside my so-called lived experience. Jack Monroe was an appealing public figure who initially seemed to be successful in getting media attention on the issue, especially as so much of the poverty discourse in this country seems to focus on food security, and food banks were proliferating.

Since then, my understanding has deepened and I've become so much more alert to the shadow side of the -- for want of a better phrase -- "poverty industry", namely the influence peddlers, profiteers, dodgy charities and carpet baggers who are drawn to the sector like moths to the perverbial flame.

I have tried engaging Jack Monroe several times. Occasionally in the early years, she'd put out requests for information or signal a potential collab and I emailed or DMed her about this, out of interest in possibly also writing about what I was seeing and to potentially boost the local, independent food bank I had used and now support. She never once replied, even just with a holding message or an automated acknowledgement. That was the first black mark against her name.

Gradually, I got tired of the constant hystrionics and internet feuding on Twitter, the unrelenting posting of her private life and celeb-type nonsense which seemed at odds with being a serious campaigner. She looked more like a TOWIE schlebb than anyone trying to change the world for good. I hated her Oxfam junket to Tanzania -- I have a long association with international development and I hate the f*cking poverty tourism of those organisations (getting better in recent years but still ....). Second and third black marks.

It was the Covid-era begging, in parallel with obviously lucrative brand collabs, that finally did it for me. I spent 2020 running a local mutual aid group that supported and fed all sorts of people totally cut adrift by the shutting down of local services due to lockdown. I did this from my sofa using just my phone, while recovering from a serious health incident of my own in Feb 20, and I was furious that Monroe did f*ck-all to actually make things better for people in poverty during that period. Her constant complaining just did my head in.

Then Awfully Molly laid everything out and filled in some gaps in my knowledge and I found my way here.... In the meantime, I've tried challenging her on Twitter and been blocked. The black marks have now all melted together in a massive, indelible stain that's just tainted her forever.

I long for the day when there's some public dismantling of the whole Jack Monroe edifice. It's already happening, brick by single brick, I suppose, but I really long for a properly scandalous, tabloid-esque, controlled implosion. Or a lovely big, bureaucratic public enquiry, with forensic, ahem, scrutiny by trained legal eagles (a person can dream).

So.
 
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MoistenedGussets

Chatty Member
Presented without comment from me.

Screenshot_20230630_160835_Gmail.jpg


This means Jack Monroe listed themselves as an Oxfam Ambassador.

Same as she lists herself as an activist.
Same as she lists herself as a cook...

Fucking.. Ell. Oh. SLOPSUCKING. Ell
 
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MancBee

VIP Member
Welcome all newcomers.

Fraus and Herrs know I don't swear, so some use a spoiler to spare me reading. (Little do they know, I read all of them). In addition, when I do write something sweary you know she's gone far too far.

It's great to hear that not everyone thinks we are a nasty corner of the Internet, I was beginning to wonder.

Finally, and this is to Jack as we know you are reading here. Don't you think you owe these lovely new members a full on chaos as a sort of initiation to the ninnies club. Go on, you know you want to.
 
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corneliahosendove

Active member
Hello again Fraus! I did a ill considered digital detox back in December & closed my tattle account & then was locked out as they closed to new members till yesterday! I now have 344 moleskin notebooks filled with painstakingly hand written replies to all the many many chaoi ? since then. I am now typing them up on my ancient nokia & then will upload them to my equally ancient laptop then will print them out & file them in lever arch files & keep them in my shed. DM for an appointment to view. Dont just turn up & ring the doorbell.

quick mither: ADHD - D is for disorder. Yes, everyone gets distracted & looks up actors etc on IMDB, its normal & not uncommon. For me the Disorder bit is that I dont f-ing want to! I really really try to concentrate on the show I'm watching but I just can't, its horrible, upsetting & exhausting (who do I sound like?). Its beyond my control, because being attention deficit / hyperactive is a disorder, not an annoying habit. I feel 'oh get me & my wacky ways, its my adhd' is the new 'I'm soooo OCD' when really they are just tidy & organised. Equally offensive

ps Jack is a knob x
 
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long time grunker and lurker, first time poster! just wanted to stick my head in and say hello to the canal, can't wait to get stuck in with the next chaoi but mostly need to let you all know that you're a stellar and compassionate bunch and reading these threads for the last 8ish months has been extremely eye opening both for the capacity of uplifting kindness here and also incredible feats of bleepness from the titular tit herself.

I won't bore you all with my own tale of how I came across Jack Monwoe but I'm so happy to finally be here among fellow frauen.

back OT - the “flirting” in the excerpt above is too much. she thinks she's Carrie from Sex and the City but it's more Slop and Gritty 😭
 
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Shimmering

VIP Member
I've got an amazing recipe for a glass of water.

It just requires one bag of supermarket ice cubes. Any brand will do.

You'll need a bullet blender to grind up the ice into tiny chunks. If you don't have a bullet blender, simply grate and chop the ice. Remember to use a clean grater, not one covered in chunks of old hard cheese.

Once you have ground or grated the ice, simply transfer to a clean tea towel. Suspend the tea towel from a carabiner and S hook over your sink, and position a glass underneath. Wait for 24 hours for the ice to slowly melt and drip through the towel into the glass below.

Et voila, a delicious and simple glass of water.

Serves six generously.
 
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MancBee

VIP Member
It's a dormer bungalow, so has one or two rooms upstairs in the roof.

(Personally I don't understand why houses like these get called bungalows when every other 1.5 storey house doesn't but, it is a thing)
Aksssshhhhewly it's a chalet bungalow. A dormer bungalow has a specific type of window called a dormer that protrudes from the roofline. A chalet bungalow has loft rooms that do not alter the roofline.

Aren't I a big headed know it all? (Not really, I am a retired surveyor🔺)
 
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VeniVidiVicki

VIP Member
Lads! My mum is moving to a flat so getting rid of a lot of stuff. Look what I got!
87DE8046-39E9-4C57-8FC9-0F945B109A50.jpeg

EGG RINGS!

She was going through a box of stuff and said ‘I don’t even know what half of this is. What the hell are these for?’
I distracted her and didn’t answer but said I’d take them. These are my inexplicable egg rings. 😎
 
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LizzieE.

Well-known member
Hello!
New here. I'd like first if all to express my gratitude to The Canal for keeping me company for the last 3 months. The joy your mithering and rantings have brought to my nights is priceless.
Yer One popped up on my radar I suppose the same time as everyone else but there was a certain, barely there smirk that I think I saw peep out from under her fringe that made me think "Oh you like yourself just a hint too much so I shall ignore you from now on".
And I did.
Till the 1st Guardian article about the drink and being sober etc and it just smelled of fakery. The photo of her with the big mug of tea and a sort of shit eating grin that repelled me. So I ignored her again, confident she'd shafted herself.
But no. She was soon everywhere being The Big I Am for no real reason as far as I could tell.
Then I saw a thread on Mumsnet and I was hooked. I came from Mumsnet over here and its been an education Onbso many fronts.
Trussell trust...had I not read the details here about what they actually do, I would have gone merrily along my way thinking they do general good for food banks. But its not quite that is it?
Her Patreon...that's all very smelly isn't it?
The poor nutritional content of her concoctions...is no one checking this before slinging it into the world?
Overall, how has she managed to slalom past the sort of pit falls that would have the majority of us up to our armpits in the poo?
How?
That's what keeps me so angry and coming back oh and the pic of her with the stick!
I have to use a stick. I don't like it but I need it. It's often inconvenient and it hurts my hands But it is a part of me now
It's most certainly not an accessory that I puck or chose when to use.
When I saw thatIpuc of her with (possibly someone else's srick) I took against her more deeply and it has made me more invested in longing for the day all her hi jinx are exposed.
So happy I'm allowed to post as it saves me shouting at my phone and giving the cat a turn.
 
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Domacles

Active member
Morning ninnies! Been lurking, grunking, hooting, fizzing, pissing and eating sandwiches since DKL. Been looking forward to joining you but had to wait (Tattle was full but it hadn’t LEFT).
I went to Hay this year with a friend I suspected was a Frau. We didn’t see guest but there were copies of GK in the bookshop, I pointed to one and went “HONK!!” Ninnies, she was not a Frau 🤦‍♀️
 
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Dogrose

Active member
Greenbelt have finally issued a statement about Jack. TL;dr we like Jack, we’ve all made mistakes, we’re getting some actual povs along too and we think this cancels out her cosplay.

 
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Foxvint

VIP Member
It's like a fresh new detective team coming out on the floor with all these brill newbies while the hardened jaded staff light another marlboro red and murmur 'your poor bastards, I was like you once, look at me now, an empty husk of a pumble'.
 
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Oh no, we LOVE an origin story - how/when did you realise she was a complete and utter wrong 'un?
It started on a cold and dare I say sloppy night…

Years ago, someone linked to her on Tumblr - this must have been 2015-18 as a woman who’d been living in absolute poverty and her recipes could help those in similar straits, etc. The post got quite popular, made the rounds, I clicked on it as I was curious and remember reading through the recipes and pondering trying some myself (I wasn’t in the best of financial circumstances at the time and needed to make cash stretch). I regret to say I never tried anything as perhaps tht would have opened my eyes sooner!


Forgot about her for a long time and then re-remembered her on Twitter in about 2020 when she was bleeping on about how she had lost a lot of income due to the pandemic. I followed her as I felt sorry for her (I was waiting to hear if I’d be furloughed at the time - not to 🔺 but I worked for a coffee shop that cba to close until the final hour whereas everyone else had closed the week prior) and didn’t think too much about her. I remember witnessing the disabled cat in real time and that horrified me so I unfollowed as it made me feel deeply uneasy to see things like that with her showing no remorse.

Put her to the back of my mind again as unlike Monwoe I am BUSY and ACTUALLY WORK 100 HOURS A WEEK (I do not but in the third sector 🔺 it frequently feels like that). And then I think in September 2022 I saw something she’d said about the torrent of abuse she was receiving from her deepest darkest haters, and I thought… where is this abuse? because a quick skim of her ✨ comments club ✨ didn’t show anything like that. I can’t remember what I googled but I came cross Tattle (had never heard of it prior to stumbling across these threads like a parched adventurer crawling to an oasis) and the rest was history.

I’ve basically had my face pressed against the window not unlike Guest at the TV/media industries except I’m well-mannered, tidy, have great fingernails and am an OK cook but haven’t made a career off selling slop. And now I’m here! I think the most eye opening thing for me has been all the stories of woe - the chewing her lip but it’s actually filler made me gasp (I know nothing about botox filler the beauty industry etc) and the Mrs Gloss stuff… my jaw hit the floor!

A recommendation for frauen here is the podcast “Sweet Bobby” if you haven’t listened to it as a lot of the behaviour in there reminded me of Guest when I was listening to it last week.

Go well! Don’t forget large lashings of black pepper on everything - the fix-it staple of the kitchen x
 
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BlendedSlop

VIP Member
Hey guys, I'm so excited to finally share my recipe for instant Mediterranean vegetable soup!

Ingredients:
1x sachet of vegetable cup-a-soup
Pinch of dried mixed herbs

Method:
First, boil your kettle (you'll need to fill it and plug it in first!). If you don't have a kettle or access to running water, simply travel to your nearest hot spring and fill a mug about two-thirds full.

Add the sachet contents to a medium-sized mug and top up with the hot water. For a thinner or thicker consistency, adjust the volume of water accordingly.

Stir well - this step is important! If you don't have a spoon, you could use the handle of another item of cutlery, or simply dip in a clean finger and swirl around vigorously (make sure you use a finger you don't mind losing the fingerprints from; I personally use the middle finger of my left hand, but ultimately this comes down to personal preference).

Sprinkle over the dried mixed herbs, and enjoy!

(Now where's my book deal?)
 
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ah went tell

New member
Hello canal ✊

Been enjoying your work for many years. My username (shooketh that it wasn’t already taken) isn’t my origin story, I’m fact the absolute that-didn’t-happen abuse of Scots may well be the funniest thing she’s ever done.

For me the thing that tipped me over the edge was the ONS shenanigans. Their report 100% did not back up her VBI ramblings, and she was bare faced lying that it did… and people just believe it. And as a numbers Frau 🍉 if you come for Chris Mate, you come for all of us.
 
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Hey guys - haven’t caught up so sorry if this has been shared:

She opened June 2023 with 402 paying subscribers, in a few hours ~7/8am we’ll see the first patreon payday dip and then a further 24 hours of losses. Any number under 402 is brilliant as it means she’ll be in her tenth month of losses!

Frustratingly she acquired 10 subscribers this month, which is 3* the prior 3 months’ avg, strongly suspect this is because of recent shenanigans tbh so do hope they leave this month or next.

Will share the full update on the 2nd but most likely after kiddy bedtime ✌❤
 
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