And the pool boy trying work out why you were telling him your fanny was on fireWhat a phrase!I do love the smell of it - especially compared to two boys of 15 and 11 - but my only experience of it involved a freshly-waxed bikini line on holiday and Iâll tell you now, that took me SEVERAL pina colada to recover.
My reply to this might get long and it's not directly on topic so I'll spoiler it. *Potentially upsetting content WARNED*
My reply to this might get long and it's not directly on topic so I'll spoiler it. *Potentially upsetting content WARNED*
Iâm sure we have common ground in thinking that anyone who uses their labels/identities for attention or to evade criticism is a twit. And anyone who pretends to be part of a marginalised group is betraying peopleâs trust and doing a lot of damage to that community.
However, these âprotected characteristicsâ are more than just identifying with a subculture or something you try on like a fashion. Theyâre intrinsic to who you are. For example: Iâm bisexual. I didnât choose that label or seek out the identity â itâs simply the most accurate description of who I am already. The same would've been true had I been living in 1850. Itâs really not a big deal!
For a lot of newly-diagnosed ADHD & autism folks, having these labels is hugely important because previously theyâd never had the language to describe their experiences. These are people whoâve spent most of their lives, especially in school & work environments, being told that they are somehow âwrongâ and need to change to fit their surroundings. The growing body of medical/psychological knowledge adds to the overall understanding of these diagnoses, so that the environments can be adjusted to fit them for once. An accurate diagnosis should feel like a sigh of relief where you go âfinally, thatâs what this is called!â So this is why I donât think the labels themselves are trivial.
What you might see as an increase in (over)sensitivity or political correctness could be viewed as an increase in understanding and respect. Political correctness is concerned with politeness and avoiding offense, but imo the important concept is justice. It would be a mistake to call justice or respect 'political correctness'.
Take the examples you gave about pronouns and allergies: youâre thinking about your personal comfort on a flight. But a woman with a peanut allergy was left permanently brain damaged after a flight where peanuts were eaten. With pronouns, your concern is that you need to walk on eggshells to avoid causing offense. Meanwhile, earlier this year, a trans teenager was murdered by her classmates and then misgendered deliberately in the newspapers. The point Iâm making is that the stakes are very different here â slight inconvenience vs. serious harm.
Unfortunately, these âsimpler timesâ were only simpler if you had the advantage of being a straight, white able-bodied man or someone in a position of relative privilege. Anyone else had to put up with varying degrees of discrimination, lack of awareness, inferior or inappropriate medical care, being denied jobs, lack of social support, being the punchline of jokes, and worse. Now these groups have a louder voice and can say 'hey, we've always been harmed by this and now you need to change' but there's a lot of resistance by individuals who've never had to notice how their behaviours and attitudes affected others. Having your needs catered to because you're considered by society to be 'default' and 'the average' is a luxury. It's also a luxury when you can go through life unaffected by issues that hinder so many demographics.
It can feel as though all these people with labels in their Twitter bios are coming out of nowhere to harass you, but there are a few factors to consider here:
-Increased public awareness
-Improvements in diagnosis and identification
-Reduced stigma
All these things lead to an increase in the number of people with a specific label - trans, autistic, whatever else. It doesn't mean there's bandwagon-jumping happening on a large scale.
Finally, campaigns centered around specific identities serve some important purposes:
-A way of organising for positive change, be that in attitudes, stigma reduction, better services or policy.
-Mutual aid and support. Mental illness and disability can be extremely isolating, so flags and symbols are a means of finding and connecting with like-minded people. In the past, there would have been loads of poor individuals sitting at home wondering wtf was the matter with them. Now they can go online and find their people.
-Pride. The idea behind pride events (and wider movements like BLM) isn't to revel in victimhood or to let one characteristic define your whole being. The point is empowerment, to make people feel supported and valued even when society at large doesn't treat them well.
*None of my trans friends will be offended if itâs a genuine mistake! Theyâre a friendly bunch and will probably just correct you and move on. @stunrw is marked safe from Big Linda.
I bet you need a drink after reading that, tendertrifles. Big apologies. Rant mode was activated. Won't happen again.
Looks like we had the last laugh.'Ratings get recommissions'.
Yes you really showed us guest.
Just like how you showed us with Daily Kitchen Live.
View attachment 2197523
(Thanks to dear heart OG @GrunkaLunka for screenie).
And Marms please don't stop with the throwbacks - always hilarious. She just never learns
I'm going to jump on the allergy thing. That's not being precious or wanting a label. And it's not a societal change but a medical one -there has been a huge rise in the severity and number of allergies. And you aren't going to starve if you miss out on peanuts on a flight. My kids both have multiple severe allergies and have had major reactions on contact with food (ie without eating). It's a tit hand to be dealt. I am not at all precious or helicoptery as a parent- they do all sorts of adventure sports etc- but for children with allergies food isn't benign, it's life or death.
Completely agree. My son ended up leaving scouts as they constant did activities he couldn't join in with (like a game 'throwing eggs" when he is anaphylactic to eggs. When I complained they said they didn't want the other scouts to miss out on a fun game and he needed to "be more resilient". So the onus on the child with allergies to be resilient about missing out, not the other children to adapt and accept a different activity@stunrw I respectyour input here too, itâs unfortunate that you showed you have some unconscious bias, in writing on a forum. But if you know itâs there you can work on it (if you want)
My final word on this - person asking for so called âspecialâ treatment due to their dis/ability, non/gender, sexuality etc to live their life a bit easier- snowflake, weak, needy
âAverage personâ refusing to make any concession, and going out of their way to carry on living their life as they always have, without change - not a snowflake, strong, capable
aka projection
How many of the mavens of misery are Barb panel members? The only viewers that are actually counted. She's so stupid and lacking in knowledge it is excruciating.'Ratings get recommissions'.
Yes you really showed us guest.
Just like how you showed us with Daily Kitchen Live.
View attachment 2197523
(Thanks to dear heart OG @GrunkaLunka for screenie).
And Marms please don't stop with the throwbacks - always hilarious. She just never learns
Please please let her be escorted in a car. If she gets a train thereâs a real chance of âpet cemetery rucksack/did you know things are cheap in ethnic shopsâ Jack manifesting. I canât cope with her being amazed at the price of turmeric.
Tiffany dupes
Beautifully and powerfully said. Thank you.My reply to this might get long and it's not directly on topic so I'll spoiler it. *Potentially upsetting content WARNED*
Iâm sure we have common ground in thinking that anyone who uses their labels/identities for attention or to evade criticism is a twit. And anyone who pretends to be part of a marginalised group is betraying peopleâs trust and doing a lot of damage to that community.
However, these âprotected characteristicsâ are more than just identifying with a subculture or something you try on like a fashion. Theyâre intrinsic to who you are. For example: Iâm bisexual. I didnât choose that label or seek out the identity â itâs simply the most accurate description of who I am already. The same would've been true had I been living in 1850. Itâs really not a big deal!
For a lot of newly-diagnosed ADHD & autism folks, having these labels is hugely important because previously theyâd never had the language to describe their experiences. These are people whoâve spent most of their lives, especially in school & work environments, being told that they are somehow âwrongâ and need to change to fit their surroundings. The growing body of medical/psychological knowledge adds to the overall understanding of these diagnoses, so that the environments can be adjusted to fit them for once. An accurate diagnosis should feel like a sigh of relief where you go âfinally, thatâs what this is called!â So this is why I donât think the labels themselves are trivial.
What you might see as an increase in (over)sensitivity or political correctness could be viewed as an increase in understanding and respect. Political correctness is concerned with politeness and avoiding offense, but imo the important concept is justice. It would be a mistake to call justice or respect 'political correctness'.
Take the examples you gave about pronouns and allergies: youâre thinking about your personal comfort on a flight. But a woman with a peanut allergy was left permanently brain damaged after a flight where peanuts were eaten. With pronouns, your concern is that you need to walk on eggshells to avoid causing offense. Meanwhile, earlier this year, a trans teenager was murdered by her classmates and then misgendered deliberately in the newspapers. The point Iâm making is that the stakes are very different here â slight inconvenience vs. serious harm.
Unfortunately, these âsimpler timesâ were only simpler if you had the advantage of being a straight, white able-bodied man or someone in a position of relative privilege. Anyone else had to put up with varying degrees of discrimination, lack of awareness, inferior or inappropriate medical care, being denied jobs, lack of social support, being the punchline of jokes, and worse. Now these groups have a louder voice and can say 'hey, we've always been harmed by this and now you need to change' but there's a lot of resistance by individuals who've never had to notice how their behaviours and attitudes affected others. Having your needs catered to because you're considered by society to be 'default' and 'the average' is a luxury. It's also a luxury when you can go through life unaffected by issues that hinder so many demographics.
It can feel as though all these people with labels in their Twitter bios are coming out of nowhere to harass you, but there are a few factors to consider here:
-Increased public awareness
-Improvements in diagnosis and identification
-Reduced stigma
All these things lead to an increase in the number of people with a specific label - trans, autistic, whatever else. It doesn't mean there's bandwagon-jumping happening on a large scale.
Finally, campaigns centered around specific identities serve some important purposes:
-A way of organising for positive change, be that in attitudes, stigma reduction, better services or policy.
-Mutual aid and support. Mental illness and disability can be extremely isolating, so flags and symbols are a means of finding and connecting with like-minded people. In the past, there would have been loads of poor individuals sitting at home wondering wtf was the matter with them. Now they can go online and find their people.
-Pride. The idea behind pride events (and wider movements like BLM) isn't to revel in victimhood or to let one characteristic define your whole being. The point is empowerment, to make people feel supported and valued even when society at large doesn't treat them well.
*None of my trans friends will be offended if itâs a genuine mistake! Theyâre a friendly bunch and will probably just correct you and move on. @stunrw is marked safe from Big Linda.
I bet you need a drink after reading that, tendertrifles. Big apologies. Rant mode was activated. Won't happen again.
For a brief moment there I felt a bit sorry for guest, âviews are viewsâ knowing she was being watched by a load of ninnies laughing at her. But THEN I remembered sheâs a horrible terrible awful person, so I stopped feeling sorry for her.
Tingly lube = not suitable for bumming.
I only realised yesterday that my microwave is Russell Hobb. Why I sob? No see Russell Hobb.My OH LEFT but came back with a new kettle. Will I say 'why you sob, Russell hobb' softly, gently to myself every time I go in the kitchen?
Yes, absolutely x
Ps don't try tome by my pink kitchen. WARNED
View attachment 2197496
Edit for
What is it suitable for?
Setting your ringpiece on fire in my experience.
"my bag is full of 24 multipacks from the Walkers factory!!! the evening watchman looked me up and down and waved me in, thanking me for all that I do, and let me take as many bags as I could fit in my teeny tiny rucksack, and it was a lot! moving 70 times in 10 years has taught me how to cram things into a bag!"
Chapeau tenderstem
You're absolutely right, good will shouldn't be rationed but as we know from the users on here many people become very wary of supporting anyone once they get a peek behind the bungamansion curtain, which has a net negative effect on the people who actually deserve the good will Jack feeds on. In my opinion, anyway.
