I imagine Diva only nominate her because she still has a lot of followers and they want the exposure.
Jack Monroe #482 Absolute Talent Abyss
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“I usually frame his artwork and hang it in his bedroom”
No you don’t. She’s talking about a preschool aged SB here, at that age they bring home from nursery great piles of “artwork” consisting of a single crayon squiggle or a random blob of poster paint. No one frames all of these, even if you were buying frames from a charity shop it would be a ridiculous outlay and the effort of hanging them all would be immense, not to mention all the fixings and fittings for hanging. At best she was blu tacking them up for him. She tells so many of these little self aggrandising lies that just don’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny.
No you don’t. She’s talking about a preschool aged SB here, at that age they bring home from nursery great piles of “artwork” consisting of a single crayon squiggle or a random blob of poster paint. No one frames all of these, even if you were buying frames from a charity shop it would be a ridiculous outlay and the effort of hanging them all would be immense, not to mention all the fixings and fittings for hanging. At best she was blu tacking them up for him. She tells so many of these little self aggrandising lies that just don’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny.
Jack's new address? AppropriateI have
her new address
I really think most of what she claims happened during the Pov-Pov was stuff she experienced voluntarily during that Live Below The Line thing.
Of course it never happened. She only appropriates what others have written about and suffered. Seriously, she's an annoying little hole but who would want to physically harm her? She's a laughing stock, nothing more.How did they get her mobile number? Maybe, just maybe, that call never happened
Some of them are joke shop syrups surely?
She butchers the English language. That's not an achievementJack has literally never bothered to put any effort into anything. Even things she enjoys doing and thinks she’s good at.
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Yet despite English being the only subject in which she ever “achieved an A for achievement” on her report cards (and she didn’t actually bother to put any effort into her best subject), for some unfathomable reason everyone also thought she was going to get 15 GCSEs and become a Dr.?!
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How did all those right-wing people get Jack's telephone number? Where did the dining room table come from? Is Jack now in a furnished flat? Is there a piano there? Is that Jack collecting her son from the same man who, only six months ago failed to notice his son had been deprived of jam?
Final Tesco Grifty Kitchen update:
Jack's magnum opus has gone from my local store , replaced by something called Baked In One. It was there the other day, honking up the shelf, but it has been ignominiously cast out, no doubt by a nefarious Tory doing the bidding of a mendacious Putin farm bot. Unfathomable!
Where will it appear next, in The Works for £1, or shredded for hamster bedding? Eyes are peeled. WARNED.
Jack's magnum opus has gone from my local store
, replaced by something called Baked In One. It was there the other day, honking up the shelf, but it has been ignominiously cast out, no doubt by a nefarious Tory doing the bidding of a mendacious Putin farm bot. Unfathomable!Where will it appear next, in The Works for £1, or shredded for hamster bedding? Eyes are peeled. WARNED.
I have a folder for my kids. It contains the more decent pieces of artwork and photos ( that now seems to be a thing of them doing work.)Removed from the school books and certicates of achievement. Sometimes they will put a picture they like on the fridge that every so often get put away( put in the recycling)
Why does she keep using US terminology? No-one in UK that I know of thinks of or says their weight in lbs, it's in stone -except for medical records which use kilos.
sorry jack can you confirm, were you wearing a duffel coat and a beanie? it’s not clear at all in this articleI believe I’ve also found the inaugural implausible “everybody clapped and cheered”. Where her son clapped and cheered, then everybody clapped and cheered (while her son said something improbable).
The incidents described below also did not happen, and I fully believe that Jack only wrote this column because she wanted to show off that she had a lovebite.View attachment 2002992View attachment 2002994
What a boring bleeping anecdote to write a blog post about. She’s always been a tedious prick. I’ll give her a clap and cheer for consistency there.
(It’s the Rimmel shoplifting nonsense for those who want to skip, as it’s been mithered over before)
Mind you, I’m adopting this as I think this speaks for us all here on the Jack Monroe threads. And it’s in a cacophony of nonsensical Jack speak too. So a bonus.With my BEST FRIEND. View attachment 2002999View attachment 2003000View attachment 2003001View attachment 2003002View attachment 2003003
Nasty, snotty privileged little prick.
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A for achievement and U for effort. To me that suggests she was vomiting out horrible word salads even back then, lots of content but no actual meaning.
As for the everyone thinking she was going to get 15 GCSEs, well I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before but I’m convinced she was fairly precocious at primary and probably encouraged by her family who made her feel like getting a gold star for her y5 poem about autumn leaves meant she was destined to be an award winning writer. Then going to a grammar school came as a horrible shock, when suddenly everyone in her class was the kid who’d been the academic overachiever at primary and she couldn’t coast on her natural abilities anymore and had to actually put in effort to keep up. It would be interesting to know how Jack would have turned out if she’d gone to a comp where she could have bobbed along somewhere in the middle and might have had the opportunity to do more vocational courses.
Is anyone watching Sir Matt of the Forearms having a moment? I just had to look up quim, poor Matt always surrounded by unruly labias!
Customer service is abysmal these days 
Her weight probably fluctuates which is entirely average an normal for women. Why does she think her height and weight are as fascinating to everyone else as they are to her. Utterly irrelevant but she never misses a chance to crowbar them in. And these weights are all in the range of healthy for what she claims her height is. She's not the waif likely to blow away on a breeze that she pretends. On the Hopkins court case pics she actually looks chunky to me.
Read that bit again, Jack
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I don’t get this. Can someone send explanios?
Funny you should mention hamsters, because according to Jack, that’s what boys smell ofFinal Tesco Grifty Kitchen update:
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Jack's magnum opus has gone from my local store
Where will it appear next, in The Works for £1, or shredded for hamster bedding? Eyes are peeled. WARNED.
Until they grow up, that is. Men apparently manage to cover up the hamster smell with Lynx, but they can’t mask the whiff of Wotsits.
Jack’s 25 birthday. Already a bleep.
Birthdays, A Rambling. Echo & Gazette Column, 19 March.
celebrated my birthday on Sunday, and those of you who asked were simply told that it was a ‘milestone’. A quarter of a century milestone at that, and when I say I celebrated on Sunday, what I actu...
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