Jack Monroe #482 Absolute Talent Abyss

[reCAPTCHA]

As you were.

Jack remains silent (socks aside) and the canal is entertaining itself in its usual hilarious manner.

Thanks to @Livia Fantasy for the inspiration for the thread title, and to @DisgruntledGoat for nominating.

I do hope someone makes all of Jack’s thread titles into a self-published book one day. It might just make it into into the top 3000 in the genre 🫣

 

[kachoochoo]

thank duck that thread title's done with. i kept getting that lily allen song stuck in my head (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree) where she's crying about being a cheater like her dad

although it did also keep making me think of this lad

(it's the swede from "our flag means death" for you uncultured ninnies)

edited punctuation to not look like I'm issuing death threats

 

[hoopdedoo]

Following on with @AlwightDallin comments in the previous thread re being skint at uni - I knew fellow students who bought cheese spread and other kinds of fake cheese because they couldn't afford real cheese, or who bought a giant sack of rice at the "ethnic" supermarket and ate mostly that for an entire semester (adding in different sauces, veg, etc).

I also knew a few students who were technically homeless and lived in the student lounges and other common spaces in different uni buildings.

But all of them had a roof over their heads, access to a working toilet and shower, running water, heat, light etc and at least one square meal a day. That’s not the dire circumstances of a lot of the people Jack claims to be helping.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I think I might have to start using tenderpotato as opposed to tenderstem. I’m sure no one will be remotely annoyed or offended.

Starting to think Jacks fallen down the back of the sofa.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I’m here for the Jack Capone takedown.

 

[HotesTilaire]

It’s her “look at me I was premature, but now I’m a grown-up” anniversary in two weeks time. Surely she’ll be back for that? Annual Femi tweet.

 

[GigglePops]

She deserves everything that happens to her- the humiliation, the legal ramifications, the obscurity, being financially ruined.
Former patreon subs should take her to court, report her to the police where fraud is likely to be a thing, the council for running a knocking shop when she's finally 'opening up' on onlyfans, and so on. She is finished as a credible 'campaigner' but she shouldn't be able to carry on the financial malarky any longer- whether that's taking money under false pretences for crowd funders (book, legal), actual tax fraud which she may or may not be engaging in, paypal jar rattles while falsely claiming to be a pov, or whatever else. She's a liar and a thief.
None of us would be able to do it. None of us would get away with it. None of us would want to. We all stick to the rules and lead good honest lives- why do the rules not apply to her?

The great thing is, and I mean really great, is that it's not something that's going to happen, it already started last year with HH2 at least. The scales have fallen from the eyes of so many. She might have the odd win, she might gain more patreon subs next month or in six months, but the actual work, her reputation and credibility are already disappearing. She lives on charity, which is unsustainable. She is a force in decline, collapsing, just like her septum. So take heart dear ninnies, flip out a deck chair and pop a blanket over your knees- she is burning her career down and we can all warm our hands on the flames.

 

[here we go again]

she is burning her career down and we can all warm our hands on the flames.

The most activism she's ever achieved, saves us thousands on leccy bills.

 

[NellieBoo]

Look lads if she starts on Only Fans then someone is going to have to take on for the canal and subscribe. I can't do it on account of the Stephen Bear threads. I've seen things <Susan Nam Eyes>.

 

[Emmapism]

 

[ClaretFairy]

Look lads if she starts on Only Fans then someone is going to have to take on for the canal and subscribe. I can't do it on account of the Stephen Bear threads. I've seen things <Susan Nam Eyes>.

Yeah but that would involve her actually doing some work!

 

[5Alive]

@Django - £1 a month... just to gain access to see what was going on - research purposes only. Cancelled after 2 months because I felt dirty. Like I'd been covered in slop and no amount of rinsing would ever cleanse me.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Het only fans would just be her straddling different items of furntiure in in her one bed flat. She may even treat them to her brandishing a plastic cock from the cockdrawer in a way that suggest sexy but is more

 

[5Alive]

@Lucky-escape.345699 - it appears that i only pay VAT on my US Patreon subscriptions and not on my UK ones - which seems odd....? If anything, I'd expect it to be the other way round...

---

@Lucky-escape.345699 - it appears that i only pay VAT on my US Patreon subscriptions and not on my UK ones - which seems odd....? If anything, I'd expect it to be the other way round...

Damn - how *do* you get to @ the members name properly??!

 

[Mr Krabs]

Look lads if she starts on Only Fans then someone is going to have to take on for the canal and subscribe. I can't do it on account of the Stephen Bear threads. I've seen things <Susan Nam Eyes>.

Everything off the site gets leaked so no need to send Jack cash. And anyway, we all know how a Jack OF would go. Week one: one terrible hand bra photo that looks bleeping grubby, taken next to the bed with the dogwolfdeergiraffe sheets. Thirsty neckbeards across the land sign up. Week two: “sorry all I haven’t been able to update because bad mentals/ADHD puppy brain/vague mentions of friend in hospital”. Then about a year of silence with a few Twitter spats from disgruntled “I’m such a male feminist” types who have had a lightbulb moment and realised Jack will never duck them so are demanding a refund from m’lady. And perhaps one more photo of her bending over a sideboard or something. Then it’ll never be mentioned again.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Look lads if she starts on Only Fans then someone is going to have to take on for the canal and subscribe. I can't do it on account of the Stephen Bear threads. I've seen things <Susan Nam Eyes>.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Look lads if she starts on Only Fans then someone is going to have to take on for the canal and subscribe. I can't do it on account of the Stephen Bear threads. I've seen things <Susan Nam Eyes>.

I'll volunteer... But someone is going to have to pay for the therapy after...

 

[Hollaaa]

Lanie, what the actual duck did you type in to find that giphy?
It was spot on perfect

 

[NellieBoo]

Everything off the site gets leaked so no need to send Jack cash. And anyway, we all know how a Jack OF would go. Week one: one terrible hand bra photo that looks bleeping grubby, taken next to the bed with the dogwolfdeergiraffe sheets. Thirsty neckbeards across the land sign up. Week two: “sorry all I haven’t been able to update because bad mentals/ADHD puppy brain/vague mentions of friend in hospital”. Then about a year of silence with a few Twitter spats from disgruntled “I’m such a male feminist” types who have had a lightbulb moment and realised Jack will never duck them so are demanding a refund from m’lady. And perhaps one more photo of her bending over a sideboard or something. Then it’ll never be mentioned again.

Very true. Maybe tiktok is the answer for Jack? Not going to lie, I'm far too old for tiktok but I love the drama of the beggy 'creators' plus I've managed to 'trick the algorithm' just like Jack did with Twitter so I get to watch loads of decent cooking videos and cute doggos and cattos.

 

[GigglePops]

There's a very dark and fleshy corner of the hellsite where she could peddle her camel toe to the fuzzy felt faces while rattling her tin. 'Send cashos for gashos in your DMs, taken in a darkened den with the lingering smell of cheap perfume'. Grim.
Imagine if she was done for not declaring income on turning herself inside out on camera. Oh the shame.