Jack Monroe #482 Absolute Talent Abyss

[GigglePops]

It’s so obvious she’s trying to copy Leggys horder kitchen as she thinks it’s the ‘chef look’ but she gets it all horribly wrong. It’s just not quite there.
I mean, not to mention that legs kitchen looks like it’s a sticky oily mess anyway, dirty and grimy

Jack's labia rises again.
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I need to invent new words to describe how much I hate that haircut on her.

It looks like it's been unevenly shaved and then grown out. Absolutely terrible.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I need to invent new words to describe how much I hate that haircut on her.

"Hnnnnnggggg" isn't new , is it? But maybe it will do

 

[MoistenedGussets]

"Hnnnnnggggg" isn't new , is it? But maybe it will do

That's used by people.on the internet to be the noise made when men.. arrive at the creamy gates.. as it were...

 

[Nurseali]

It's quite an achievement to absolutely duck a place over to that extent. Congratulations Jackie you have indeed completed that.

Landlord must have had an absolute tit fit at the state of it. I'll never conceive of how she ha so much stuff. Absolute tons of it. A huge amount of crap. Everywhere. And it's all HER stuff, not kids stuff. There are 5 of us here, 3 kids. We lived until a couple of years back in a much smaller property. Even when the kids were babies/toddlers and we had all the paraphernalia that goes along with that, never EVER was our house crammed with crap like that. No one needs all of that stuff.

Don't forget even start me on that Sweeney Todd kitchen. All those many, I imagine, expensive knives.

*shudders*
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Send helpos

I can only understand it due to my current loft situation.
When grandparents die parents tend to grab stuff , realise they can't fit it all in and so gradually offer it their kids . Or is this just my family...
I have ration books, Autograph books, canteens of cutlery , several cliff Richard calendars , more photo albums than I have had lasagne and a tit chest of drawers I keep meaning to upcycle.

Jack's grandparent was a landlord. Imagine the tit she got. Or just look at her awful hoardy kitchen pics. Case solved m'lud.

 

[Cookiecookie]

I remember those ready meal recipes coming out and got to say I liked them and even looking at the recipes now they seem reasonable.

This was 9 years ago when Jack still seemed like a decent person and didn't constantly lie, have twitter meltdowns and grift. I wonder if the change came about due to alcohol or substance abuse and needing money to find that?

Looking back, she was lying the entire time, but they seemed more under the radar type lies. Not the massive, obvious ones she started spouting not long after that.

I stopped paying much attention around the Kickstarter time, but it really looked like she'd taken far too much on with it, and I wondered how she'd manage (she didn't!) The really big lies, almost falling under trains, a new concussion every week, the heart attacks, four hour school run etc seem to really begin from around this period. The break up with Leggy seems to coincide with SB spending more time with his dad, due to the school location, and it obviously left her with more alone time to create drama. If someone had given her a kick up the backside sorted out proper therapy at that point, she might have been helped, but it looks like she was left to her own devices and, well...

 

[CarmenGhia]

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It looks like it's been unevenly shaved and then grown out. Absolutely terrible.

Mine went a bit like that when my thyroid went up the swanee. It looks as if there might be a skin condition lurking under the rat-nibbled thatch as well.

If you've got dodgy hair due to things like that, you need to get yourself to an experienced hair stylist who can make the most of what you have, not attack it with nail scissors or dog clippers.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Mine went a bit like that when my thyroid went up the swanee. It looks as if there might be a skin condition lurking under the rat-nibbled thatch as well.

If you've got dodgy hair due to things like that, you need to get yourself to an experienced hair stylist who can make the most of what you have, not attack it with nail scissors or dog clippers.

I think she was growing out her truly awful Tony and Guy reverse mullet.

 

[StatusWoe]

Leggy gave the death stare to the TV presenter who suggested that it was important to wash the cutting board and the knife and your hands after handling raw chicken. Dirt and grime may be the least of the hygiene problems in her kitchen.

Yeah I thought her response on that show was rude. The presenter, Steph McGovern, always seems really nice imo.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I need to invent new words to describe how much I hate that haircut on her.

Mae Martin wannabe Jack/ got milk/double dip Jack always makes me feel a bit ill
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Even moreso since we found out that Weezer was at a C4 thing with Mae Martin at the time of the facetune

 

[hollowhusk]

Looking back, she was lying the entire time, but they seemed more under the radar type lies. Not the massive, obvious ones she started spouting not long after that.

I stopped paying much attention around the Kickstarter time, but it really looked like she'd taken far too much on with it, and I wondered how she'd manage (she didn't!) The really big lies, almost falling under trains, a new concussion every week, the heart attacks, four hour school run etc seem to really begin from around this period. The break up with Leggy seems to coincide with SB spending more time with his dad, due to the school location, and it obviously left her with more alone time to create drama. If someone had given her a kick up the backside sorted out proper therapy at that point, she might have been helped, but it looks like she was left to her own devices and, well...

I wasn't a member of Twitter during all of that time and I also didn't read about the Kickstarter stuff till later so maybe she wasn't as likable as I thought she was then.

 

[Fruitjack]

Mine went a bit like that when my thyroid went up the swanee. It looks as if there might be a skin condition lurking under the rat-nibbled thatch as well.

If you've got dodgy hair due to things like that, you need to get yourself to an experienced hair stylist who can make the most of what you have, not attack it with nail scissors or dog clippers.

Dear tender potato, surely you are aware of Jack's three approaches to hairdressing? One is a visit to Toni and Guy, two is a 'that'll do/happy with that' Jack softly, gently cutting her own hair, and three is the short lived visit to the wonderful Turkish barber who came into Jack's life and changed everything. Until a week later when her hair completely changed again. There may be more. Can we have a timeline reconstruction dearheart @Valiofthedolls?

 

[Hold my beans]

Yeah I thought her response on that show was rude. The presenter, Steph McGovern, always seems really nice imo.

Steph and Leggy seem to have a good relationship. Bet they have a good old witch and eyeroll at Jack's latest shenanigans

 

[hoopdedoo]

Steph and Leggy seem to have a good relationship. Bet they have a good old witch and eyeroll at Jack's latest shenanigans

As long as Leggy washes her salmonella-laden hands before giving Steph a hug or a high-five.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Wonder if she has gone on holiday. Wasnt she jetting off all the time last spring with Harold. Could explain the silence, but then i am surpised she has bee able to keep a teasing photo of her pretending to be asleep somewhere or laughing at someone/ something just out of shot.

 

[AlwightDallin]

Wonder if she has gone on holiday. Wasnt she jetting off all the time last spring with Harold. Could explain the silence, but then i am surpised she has bee able to keep a teasing photo of her pretending to be asleep somewhere or laughing at someone/ something just out of shot.

On holiday?! In term time!? She is a committed single parent!

 

[EllaEm87]

Is Jack still away?

Are we still mithering? Or do I need to grunk?

Love, a busy Frau xx

 

[Elastoblast]

Have we seen that voting is open for Diva's Awards? Guess who's nominated...
View attachment 2000805

Shortlisted for what exactly? She's done precisely nothing to help anyone other than herself in the past year. Shortlisted for a non existent and unnecessary of it did exist, price index? Shortlisted for advocating shoplifting whilst working with a shop brand? Shortlisted for promoting her own ego with a grammatically incorrect self promoting range of products for "charity" that the charity distanced itself from? Shortlisted for some half hearted and factually incorrect energy payment advice about cancelling Direct Debits? Shortlisted for failing to produce any meaningful advice, meal plans or anything to help in the cost of living crisis? Shortlisted for producing a poorly written book with dangerous advice? Shortlisted for failing to advocate or campaign for those living in actual poverty? Or is she shortlisted for gifting the world the Quarter hack aka a performative stocktake check of the cupboards before yomping to Asda with toffees in her pocket? Good to see DIVA promoting a self promotor

 

[SharkAttack]

I need to invent new words to describe how much I hate that haircut on her.

She looks like David Tennant in the first one.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Can Diva even call itself a magazine anymore? It’s a poorly written online newsletter nowadays. You can’t buy the issues in shops, you can only get them through mail order. I’m imagining the editor stapling them together in her living room before posting them to the remaining three subscribers.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Hang on... Her friend gave her a Smeg fridge that sat in "her shed for years" as all her previous places had been too small. Where was this shed if not attached to a property she's living in? Does she separately rent a shed? Was it actually at her parents' place (in which case why not say so)? So bizarre and the more you think about it just sounds like a lie to cover the fact she bought it.

Re. the Smeg fridge(s). She was apparently gifted one by a friend a few years ago which was too big for anywhere she lived. So when that one finally died, what did she do? She bought another, larger one (American style, double doored, almost £3k IIRC) in 2020, not long after she'd put out her big beg for money at the start of the pandemic.