Jack Monroe #476 Avec Dangereux Dave and Les Pantalons of Beaucoup Grandes Humiliations

[Helatruralhome]

But, but, she *is* helping other people! By having free recipes on her website!

(her standard response now when she's accused of not caring about the povs)

I find it so weird how Jack thinks she's the only person in the world who's able to look at a recipe and then either exclude or select budget appropriate options for the ingredients.

The whole thing with her is just so 'emperors new clothes' it's astounding, yet we still haven't quite had the little boy call out moment because this is real life and not a fairytale; but damn it I want my fairytale...

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

If you can’t spell homogeneous, don’t use it. HTH.

She’s on truly nasty form this morning. Hope she gets liquid shits miles from the nearest facility while she’s out having her “lovely day”.

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Imagine being so posh that you look down on solicitors like it’s a profession for plebs.
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Bet he's got 9 GCSEs for a start.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Omg pls don’t tweet about the slop before bed

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What the actual duck does “mischievously conceived to really offset the collective aneurysms in the most determined of critics“ even mean?

How can you “offset an aneurysm”? With a tit recipe?

And why would you want to invent a repulsive recipe to “offset” your critics’ aneurysms? Does she maybe mean “exacerbate” them? Like, make them worse? Or “provoke” them. As in cause one?

Does she think “offset” means the same as “set off”? I think she might. (What an oaf).

 

[Elastoblast]

Oh Vlad you big old tease, at first glance I thought Jackarse had updated her bank account screenshot

 

[Lazarus]

A lot of the tit and stress would go away if she just tightened up on Twitter and used it professionally and transparently

I know, but she literally has no friends, no social skills and no interests apart from herself so she uses Twitter as her friendship circle. Much like what she’ll be doing at AA/CA. Poor little rich girl.

 

[Foxvint]

Maybe she thinks suing ppl just means emailing them to say its come to my attention you don't love me, donate to my tip jar for my important work by way of apology, cos I can totally see her doing that.

 

[WoolyMammoth]

I know, but she literally has no friends, no social skills and no interests apart from herself so she uses Twitter as her friendship circle. Much like what she’ll be doing at AA/CA. Poor little rich girl.

Sorry Lazeroo. I must politely interject to remind you that Jack has a wholesome, fulfilling day planned. It's about the right time of year for the Easter bunny to cheerfully, quietly and pointlessly, hoppity hop through mid shot as she runs across the hills howling like she's doing a remake of the sound of music.

Valentines Day Tuesday. She's probably going to be busy gaffa taping up the letterbox because the amount of admiring cards she receives is completely overwhelming.

She's probably just going to her parents for lunch. That's it.

 

[Lazarus]

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She has a LOVELY day planned and she does not have TIME to meld with this HOMOGENOUS [sic] MASS OF TEDIUM

Imagine Miguel Barclay responding to someone like this?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

The solicitor of my acquaintance was privately educated, pootled round in a Bentley, and chatted to me about their new house* "well, it's not actually new, it's second-hand you know, but it will be lovely with a few tweaks"
*for house read detached country 5-bed with separate outbuildings and a gatehouse

Ohhh Jack, and you were so near to a proposal that time!

 

[mackjonroe]

I’ve got a very busy day now duck off

Get off twitter then you crumb-begging baghead.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Fixed it for you Jack. There you go, ya Cokenosed Cockend.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Two replies in quick succession to “not a QC squig”

She’s clearly trying to deploy the flying monkeys isn’t she? But unfortunately they’ve LEFT haven’t they? It’s just wonky left now and she’s only working part time now shes simping for both Jane Godley and Jack Monroe simultaneously

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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She has a LOVELY day planned and she does not have TIME to meld with this HOMOGENOUS [sic] MASS OF TEDIUM

Careful now Jack, getting people confused and accusing them of things on twitter can be expensive...

Honestly who would be jealous of any aspect of Jack and her life? I don't care what a goldmine that Patreon is, duck being well known as an embarrassing compulsive liar and all round crappy narc, no thanks mate .

 

[Lazarus]

You know when Jack says things like: “I’ve got a lovely very busy day planned” it’s going to end up like this


ETA: Wonky’s response to someone

But you’re not interested in the truth. You’re interested in ass-pats from a bunch of toxic trolls who couldn’t care less if you live or die. That’s the actual tragedy here

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

I read this morning that Southend United are in danger of going into receivership and out of existence which is very sad for any football club and their fans

We are all privileged to know that Jack is the biggest Liverpool FC fan that ever Liverd, wouldn’t you expect her to use her massive celebrity and 500,000+ reach to raise awareness of the plight of her lil’ local team?

Ron Martin is a total bleep so this happens to Southend United every few years, unfortunately. If the man had a shred of a conscience he would GTFO and let a conglomerate of fans and professional managers own and run the damn club. He’s got as much integrity as Jack does though so that won’t happen.

 

[Zelda]

I don't know where to start with this latest stream of performative, nonsensical, utterly irrelevant bollocks - on her ***professional account***.

Every time she disappears for a while, there's a tiny part of me that hopes she might have learnt something. But no, she comes back more arrogant and unrepentant than before. So entitled.

Anyone who chooses to work with her has no sympathy from me.

Jack, I know you read these threads: Pick a lane and quit this Schrodingers "celebrity chef" bollocks.

Actually, you know what, I don't care. I hope you sue Lee Anderson, or he sues you, and then other counter-sues and so forth. Be the Amber Heard and Jonny Depp redux none of us want or need, but at least it will get all that dirty laundry out in the open once and for all and we can all move on.

 

[Lucky Escape]

You know when Jack says things like: “I’ve got a lovely very busy day planned” it’s going to end up like this

Last day in the crappy bungalow, isn't it? And, despite starting back in August, we all know that she's not actually finished packing.

So today's going to be a day of panic and pantechnicons.

I do hope she keeps us updated!

 

[hiyaaaacath]

You know when Jack says things like: “I’ve got a lovely very busy day planned” it’s going to end up like this


ETA: Wonky’s response to someone

But you’re not interested in the truth. You’re interested in ass-pats from a bunch of toxic trolls who couldn’t care less if you live or die. That’s the actual tragedy here

I get the feeling that the “I’ve got a lovely day planned” lie is actually for the attention of someone in her ‘real life’. Maybe LJC has been posting fun stuff on her SM’s or maybe paint boy has cut off her supply of samples

 

[FrumpyCat]

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Well we all know what those words are, sure any of us could stand in for you at this point to do the ol bread and jam routine.

Still Jack,do you realise what a privilege it is to be paid £1000s to speak some words when the rest of the world are working all hours to pay the bills and navigating the stresses of commuting and childcare?

KC isn't her agent. It is a talent representation company, they advertise services for hundreds of clients. I would have guessed Jack would have control (or agency lol) of her advertisement.

Besides Jack doesn't say she hasn't had any bookings since Rosemary dumped her, she just hasn't given any talks.