Jack Monroe #476 Avec Dangereux Dave and Les Pantalons of Beaucoup Grandes Humiliations

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lilykestrel

maybe one of them was when she locked eyes with a young gent across the ASDA aisle as they both sang "Con te Partito" [sic] in perfect Italian, and it turned out that that wasn't basically an engagement, so it had to be removed from the count
 
Reactions: 50

WoolyMammoth

As many have said before, thousands have died in Turkey and Syria. If I had 500,000 followers I'd have tweeted up one of the many disaster appeal fundraisers and asked if anyone could stick a £1 in. And similarly had a "charity of the week" post where I ask for a quid for a different charity each week. If it had a 1% success rate, ie that 5,000 people donated £1, it would make a huge difference to so many charities. At no cost to her. At no effort to her really as she could even get followers to nominate a charity to enhance her own engagement and following etc.

The problem is, she can't be bothered to help anyone else. At this point she seems to not even be bothered to help herself. We're on self destruct with a side order of "You're VERY jealous of me troll, shoo". Nobody is, Jack. Not one person. If at 34 I had a child and a string of failed relationships, articles in the paper where I happily talk about being an addict and spending money given in good faith to help me on junk. Having possibly the UKs highest concentration of therapists per square metre in my lounge on skip benches. I'd probably just try and do something to help someone else. Frankly. Because it might also end up helping me.
 
Reactions: 89

lilykestrel



She has a LOVELY day planned and she does not have TIME to meld with this HOMOGENOUS [sic] MASS OF TEDIUM
 
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hoopdedoo

WoolyMammoth said:
I'd probably just try and do something to help someone else. Frankly. Because it might also end up helping me.
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But, but, she *is* helping other people! By having free recipes on her website!

(her standard response now when she's accused of not caring about the povs)
 
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Lucky Escape

Coming from the past to say that she didn't mention that any money not spent would be sent to charity until after she'd started asking for donations. She'll need to keep the money raised before that point separately so that she can issue refunds if requested.
 
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hoopdedoo




(allegedly, m'lud)
 
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ForgettyBetty

lilykestrel said:
View attachment 1953780

Right so we're simultaneously not a celebrity and just an 'ordinary', but also showing off about how our website has '4x as many subscribers as the Express has circulation figures'
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Re: "circulation"
(Bearing in mind I don't fully understand twitter) Jack has 500k followers who may or may not see her tweets. View counts vary from the few hundreds, to a few tens of thousands. Did it hit 100k once?
"Perpendicularly", each tabloid paper sold is generally read and shared by 2-3 family members/4-6 workmates ie circulation of 175k translates into an average of probably at least 500,000

Tldr: a LOT more people actually read The Express than read Jack's twitter
 
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WoolyMammoth

lilykestrel said:
View attachment 1953887

She has a LOVELY day planned and she does not have TIME to meld with this HOMOGENOUS [sic] MASS OF TEDIUM
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Just like spices, all people are interchangeable. (Though I think that's precisely the opposite of the libel argument she had with KH) .

Interchangeable huh... So too Jack, are all comeback tours from your bimonthly (?) twitter absences.
 
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lilykestrel


Right, Gary, be a love and give us a screenshot of your Monzo, we need to forensically compare and contrast.
 
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DisgruntledGoat

I would like to hear from Jack what sort of “lovely day” she has planned with £83 to last until payday?

Because let’s face it, we can all go on local walks with a packed lunch and be grateful for our circumstances but even getting herself and her son who definitely lives with her all the time a warming hot chocolate from a seaside vendor is going to be 10% of that.

Maybe I’m a materialist whose idea of fun nearly always involves spending money or maybe nothing she says makes sense, idk.
 
Reactions: 67

hiyaaaacath

Imagine being so posh that you look down on solicitors like it’s a profession for plebs.

Further to that…Imagine mocking a solicitor because you don’t consider his a “respectable” position when your entire job is to beg for money from people on UC, while sniffing the proceeds up your rapidly disintegrating snozz, and failing to fulfil your patreon while swimming in CCJs. Not to mention failing to wake up for the only interview you’ve managed to land this year, because you’re a drug addled slovenly mess and then laughing about it all over the internet


 
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Reactions: 77

Mr Krabs

lilykestrel said:
View attachment 1953887

She has a LOVELY day planned and she does not have TIME to meld with this HOMOGENOUS [sic] MASS OF TEDIUM
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Umm wasn’t the Katie Hopkins thing due to KH seeing Jack in the homogenous mass of tedium that is blue tick Twitter and mistaking her for someone else? Surely Jack should be more careful.

Looking forward to hearing about Jack’s lovely day. Of packing, right? Will she get 80 or so tweets in between chores?
 
Reactions: 60
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