The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water still haunts my dreams, the scary bastard. He'll be back, just like Jack on Twitter
Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor
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Any Forensic frauen about? That post from AM includes this photo, which has made me wonder... I HAVE QUESTIONS.
Surely, that is a door knocker on the stained glass door in the middle of the pic? Wouldn't that normally imply it is the front door? Or is there a world where bathroom doors have a knocker?! Didn't she mention a stained glass door in the gas meter saga? Is it normal to enter the house via a bathroom?
Surely, that is a door knocker on the stained glass door in the middle of the pic? Wouldn't that normally imply it is the front door? Or is there a world where bathroom doors have a knocker?! Didn't she mention a stained glass door in the gas meter saga? Is it normal to enter the house via a bathroom?
Listen, you forgot the imminent nuclear apocalypse. This is why grifters are all a generation younger than us, they weren’t suitably terrified as children. It’s all “participation prizes” and no impending death for them.
Me-rail and
but I am unfortunately in an almost comedically terrible IBD flare at the moment, and am loling so hard at this. Lose my tit? Mate, completed it 
and I don’t need any help from a chaotic smol pixie. Until the steroids kick in I’m all but trapped in the house, fortunately I am greatly entertained by this, I keep looking at it and laughing like a drain
come on Jack, help a sister out and do us a lovely New Flat chaos! I’m bored and in pain here. 
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I think most of the ones that terrified me have been mentioned- railways of death, murderous pylons, quarries filled with doom- but the other one that haunted me was more reality based: children falling down artesian wells, never to be seen again. It can’t have been, but in my memory there was a series of them? Awful
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That doesn't look like stained glass to me; it looks like floral contact paper.
Never noticed this was written, originally, by someone else. TheWe had that poster in my junior school outside the Headmaster’s office next to the Colorado Beetle one
Animals have rabies here, but I’m more scared of the poisonous snakes and SPITEFUL fire ants that give you cellulitis infections and make you have to have giant needles stuck in your bum these days, so it’s all ok.
On topic: Valentine’s 2014 inexplicable romance onions from a (just) pre-Leggy Jack whose big ol kitchen our shitting dog has her sights FORENSICALLY set on.
Oh Peppermint Patty, the warning signs were all there for you to see, if only you weren’t so errrrr “clam struck” by faux-pov Eliza Dofuckall.
VALENTINE
Just because, this is one of my favourite pieces of writing. For love, for food, for words. From ‘Rapture’ by Carol Ann Duffy. Not a red rose or a satin heart. I give you an onion. It i…cookingonabootstrap.com
started ringing when I seen the line: I am trying to be truthful
Ooooh, shades of Miss Mapp (well, Mapp-Flint really) after her honeymoon in France.
Prune and oat smoothie 
just cut out the middle man and pour it straight down the loo 
I have a smoothie every morning for breakfast - skim milk and banana, or strawberry, oats and honey, or occasionally frozen fruit (as a last resort, I don’t like the seeds!). I have never wanted to ever add a prune to the mix. Just, ugh. And she’s saying it helps you go? If you need a five prune smoothie to
you need to see a doctor.
And she put this in a book she charged money for!!! What next, two senokot sprinkled with sugar served on a rinsed hoop (which is what you’d need to do after a prune smoothie)
just cut out the middle man and pour it straight down the loo I have a smoothie every morning for breakfast - skim milk and banana, or strawberry, oats and honey, or occasionally frozen fruit (as a last resort, I don’t like the seeds!). I have never wanted to ever add a prune to the mix. Just, ugh. And she’s saying it helps you go? If you need a five prune smoothie to
you need to see a doctor. And she put this in a book she charged money for!!! What next, two senokot sprinkled with sugar served on a rinsed hoop (which is what you’d need to do after a prune smoothie)
I have decided to stop drinking for a wee while because of reasons and I'm nearly a week in.
I've kept busy and such. But a chaos, a bottle of wine and some crisps is such temptation. Bold chaos but if 'fix' it I'll delete it all again
I've kept busy and such. But a chaos, a bottle of wine and some crisps is such temptation. Bold chaos but if 'fix' it I'll delete it all again
Now if we all hold hands round the table.
Jack, Jack, if you're there give us a sign. Flicker the lights in your eyes. Tweet about Mars Bars. Pause your patreon. Give us a sign, Jack.
Have the Eastenders scriptwriter been reading this thread, Karen has just said to Jed you poverty tourist ponce
This is the least likely thing to happen on a list of things that are least likely to happen.
A cloned John Wayne running Russia is more likely than Jack Pausing patreon.
I heard of an oubliette the other day. WARNED! Although that is where Jack‘s slop should goMe-rail and
Until the steroids kick in I’m all but trapped in the house, fortunately I am greatly entertained by this, I keep looking at it and laughing like a drain
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I think most of the ones that terrified me have been mentioned- railways of death, murderous pylons, quarries filled with doom- but the other one that haunted me was more reality based: children falling down artesian wells, never to be seen again. It can’t have been, but in my memory there was a series of them? Awful
I mean she’s done a lot of unbelievable tit but I’m still astounded she wrote a recipe intro that implies her smoothie might make you tit your pants. I have a lot of cookbooks and I don’t recall a single recipe from Yotam Ottolenghi or Nigella that starts with a tale about touching cloth on the morning train.Prune and oat smoothie
I have a smoothie every morning for breakfast - skim milk and banana, or strawberry, oats and honey, or occasionally frozen fruit (as a last resort, I don’t like the seeds!). I have never wanted to ever add a prune to the mix. Just, ugh. And she’s saying it helps you go? If you need a five prune smoothie to
And she put this in a book she charged money for!!! What next, two senokot sprinkled with sugar served on a rinsed hoop (which is what you’d need to do after a prune smoothie)
And yet Jack also made some concoction of peppers and prunes or something in her fridge which gave her the runs that she live tweeted
Did you never watch Labyrinth as a child?! That's got a wonderful oubliette in it.
I am a Bowie fan I barely know the plot. I’m still trying to work out why you’d want to escape from Bowie.
This month I subscribed to Patreon for a nosey at the comments one evening. I forgot about it until now and wondered, with her reemergence on the hellsite whether she posted an update on Patreon (HA!) anyway, this in the comments:
Note the date; 3 weeks ago.
clicked on that persons profile and:
Note the date; 3 weeks ago.
clicked on that persons profile and:
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