Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor

[GigglePops]

I am also in favour of a hearty, satisfying, flavoursome, portion (and then seconds!! In bed straight from the pan!) of chaos.
I’m in my third trimester pregnant with twins and am very impatient and uncomfortable.

I'm always in favour of a hearty, satisfying portion in bed too. Seconds sometimes.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

And an early start too! Has she sh*t the bed?

We say this to people if they turn up a bit early for work! Such solemn professionalism

 

[lilykestrel]

Indeed. It will be as if we, as one, have mentally imbibed of industrial sized slurry pits of Jack’s prune “Get Up and Go” smoothie with its WARNING to commuters.

Or as dearest @MistyWindows far more politely and accurately renamed it “tit One’s Self (on the way to work) Smoothie”.
View attachment 1949986(Ss courtesy of @Notmycat)

Suppose it's good to at least avoid being taken to small claims court by the commuters who shat themselves on the 7.30 to Birmingham New Street after necking a prune smoothie

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'm always in favour of a hearty, satisfying portion in bed too. Seconds sometimes.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

















Totally expect this like to get recycled and finished with ‘Does this mean we’re married now?’

Why is she so obsessed with marrying people, even the people that proposed to her dont even want to do that.

 

[HotesTilaire]

As day follows night she flounces, then returns with some inane tripe which makes us long for her to have never returned. However this time she has surpassed herself by returning and tweeting nothing.

 

[Hold my beans]

That whistling’s not coming from Jack’s…antennae

UNRULY

It's at the point where the word 'unruly' on it's own turns my stomach now

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Why is she so obsessed with marrying people, even the people that proposed to her dont even want to do that.

SHE proposed to at least one of them! Jan 2019. Zero for four on the whole vows thing here then, Jack?

 

[Eurgh]

Why is she so obsessed with marrying people, even the people that proposed to her dont even want to do that.

I’m going out on a limb here but I think she’s the one who does the proposing.

 

[mince]

David Prowse visited my primary school in full Green Cross Code Man get-up, so I was immune to traffic chaos, obvs. Had he been in his full Darth Vader get-up I’d be immune to TIE Fighter chaos, which is less useful but cooler.

Then I moved to the country and my best mate lived on a pig farm, so the slurry warnings became real

Anyhoo, speaking of slurry…

 

[Valiofthedolls]

It's at the point where the word 'unruly' on it's own turns my stomach now

Just think of something lovely and ruly instead. Like a beautiful coffee bean cupped in the capable nail-bepainted hand of Sarah Greene serving up a delicious Nescafé to Diane and Gareth.

 

[Lostcat]

Anyway, duck V-day. I’m more interested in the desperate privations Jack’s going to once again put herself through Christ in the wilderness-like for Lent.

View attachment 1949940

I don't get that? Lent is a time of giving up meat/sugar/alcohol and other pleasures (guilty ones or not). Not even the most severe of medieval monks would have ceased using an oven during Lent: you can't eat raw barley or wheat after all!

So she could have eaten chocolate, necked a bottle of gin and fried up some hamburgers on her hob according to her rules, but god forbid she eat a roast carrot? It's like saying "For Lent I will give up my toothbrush" or "For Lent I will not close my bedroom curtains". It completely misses the point of Lenten penance. 100% baffling.

 

[I'm not actually here]

To this day I have an escalator ritual that involves not stepping on the first step, standing exactly in the middle, holding the right rail with my left hand free, keeping all items of clothing (especially a scarf) far away from anything, and jumping off before the last step. Thanks, children's TV nonsense.

What's the betting jack got trapped by an escalator when she was nine, followed by being struck by lightning when she was ten, ending with an unfortunate incident with a pylon when she was eleven.

We didn't even have a TV when I was a kid, and I do that on escalators!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She's nothing if not predictable. As for that other account that has returned after a big flounce... well I'm cringing.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Suppose it's good to at least avoid being taken to small claims court by the commuters who shat themselves on the 7.30 to Birmingham New Street after necking a prune smoothie

The 7.30 SH1TTER in railway parlance

 

[I'm not actually here]

Does she think she is getting one over on us by not tweeting anything?!

Spoiler: Completely OT

have they changed the font on the Hellsite?

 

[pumbilical cord]

Does she think she is getting one over on us by not tweeting anything?!

Yes. It's all she has left now

 

[HotesTilaire]

I don't get that? Lent is a time of giving up meat/sugar/alcohol and other pleasures (guilty ones or not). Not even the most severe of medieval monks would have ceased using an oven during Lent: you can't eat raw barley or wheat after all!

So she could have eaten chocolate, necked a bottle of gin and fried up some hamburgers on her hob according to her rules, but god forbid she eat a roast carrot? It's like saying "For Lent I will give up my toothbrush" or "For Lent I will not close my bedroom curtains". It completely misses the point of Lenten penance. 100% baffling.

the oven (allegedly) doesn’t work anyway. Reminds me of being “found out” for giving up meat.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

Does she think she is getting one over on us by not tweeting anything?!

Spoiler: Completely OT

have they changed the font on the Hellsite?

If I’m forced to enjoy my Friday night doing something fun, I’ll be furious.

 

[Geetbo]

I'm always in favour of a hearty, satisfying portion in bed too. Seconds sometimes.

Babe, same x