Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor

[Falkor]

Congratulations to @elepal for the winning thread title, created by @phoebuscartel asking ChatGPT to write " a recipe for Jack Monroe's chicken with lingreenie, the recipe should include an inexplicable egg and Eamonn Holmes" (full masterpiece of AI here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...ssential-services.37161/page-37#post-13878592 )

Jack is still silent on Twitter, so we're amusing ourselves. Recent discoveries have been two upcoming speaking gigs at the Stroud Festival of Food and Drink and the Cambridge Literary Festival.

Wiki is the pink button up top, use 'thread title' when nominating one and wait until after post 500 please!

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I have a box of 6 Eamon Holmes
They're all a bit cracked.
Gonna make an Eamonlette..

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

@Lazarus

From the end of the last thread...

Jack's fee advice can be read here (under the spoiler):

Jack Monroe #470 Dramatic Pause

I think of it as swollen to the maximum point (and implying rigidity as a result) as opposed to just fuller than normal. Hence penises, and cells about to burst (and stupid barbie influencers' lips) Jack's prose is both purple and turgid with adjectives (but remains off @Geetbo 's wishlist)...

tattle.life

 

[FlirtyThirty]

@Lazarus

From the end of the last thread...

Jack's fee advice can be read here (under the spoiler):

Jack Monroe #470 Dramatic Pause

I think of it as swollen to the maximum point (and implying rigidity as a result) as opposed to just fuller than normal. Hence penises, and cells about to burst (and stupid barbie influencers' lips) Jack's prose is both purple and turgid with adjectives (but remains off @Geetbo 's wishlist)...

tattle.life

My especial favourite bit is making sure they’re paying for your “rest” time afterwards too…..!!!

 

[Saltfish84]

Is the Stroud food thingy sponsored?

I think we all like to think Jack doesn’t get £10k per speaking gig, just like we don’t like to think she gets £5k min a month from Patreon/Tipjar but she clearly does…spenny tit and the coke habit demo this clearly.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Congratulations to @elepal for the winning thread title, created by @phoebuscartel asking ChatGPT to write " a recipe for Jack Monroe's chicken with lingreenie, the recipe should include an inexplicable egg and Eamonn Holmes" (full masterpiece of AI here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...ssential-services.37161/page-37#post-13878592 )

Jack is still silent on Twitter, so we're amusing ourselves. Recent discoveries have been two upcoming speaking gigs at the Stroud Festival of Food and Drink and the Cambridge Literary Festival.

Just when we thought we might be at risk of running out of things to cringe about, @AyiaKnacker also recently discovered that one of Jack’s cringeworthy slam poetry sessions was a blatant rip-off of John Cooper Clarke.

 

[Mrs Peel]

I wonder if Agent Adrian has booked these speaking gigs well in advance to give Jack ample time to rehabilitate her reputation. He obviously has no idea what she is capable of in 3 months on twitter...

 

[Boogs]

I wonder if Agent Adrian has booked these speaking gigs well in advance to give Jack ample time to rehabilitate her reputation. He obviously has no idea what she is capable of in 3 months on twitter...

Or he does and that’s why she suddenly disappeared

 

[Morning Mimosa]

In other parts of the performing world, if the audience numbers are fewer than the cast numbers the show does not have to go on. Is she likely to get fewer than one person turning up?

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Or he does and that’s why she suddenly disappeared

I hope she comes back and @s the events in some tweets...
It'll take seconds before it becomes a dumpster fire.

 

[blueorchid]

I can’t believe we’ve had, is it two or three threads, since the bird app flounce! Truly she is the g(r)fit that keeps giving …

 

[lilykestrel]

Or he does and that’s why she suddenly disappeared

It was quite curious how she reappeared, tried to have a normal few "hey, what's your favourite ice cream cone? " "what is the DEAL with hash browns" days and then swiftly disappeared after she went all night with her grievance.

Makes me wonder if there was a swift behind the scenes

 

[Enwre]

Her being booked and given a platform to lie on stage makes me so angry. Why is this charlatan constantly rolled out despite the evidence she has taken so much money from people under false pretences to collect sideboards. I honestly feel I need to step away from this nose boner bleep.

 

[Katkat]

I asked Positive News for their source and/or evidence that Jack campaigns for the CPAG. They replied that she is listed as one of their ambassadors on their website. That’s it.
<Insert eye rolls>

 

[slopalongcassidy]

I'd imagined after the previous birdapp flounce (birdflap?) that her agent/therapist-publisher had a (perhaps not so) quiet word and suggested she stfu because contrary to the old cliche that any publicity's good publicity, doing a multi-day social media chaos that makes you seem like a deranged bleep, arguing with drug induced imaginary trolls about a carcrash weekend feature that softly shivs your entire public image while doggedly not talking about the actual book you've just had published is not in fact a good way to promote yourself or your recent work.

But then she came back and went on an ultrathon death spiral ur-chaos, veering from twitting about hash browns to showing off her Ebay-collected NA chips from around the world - so either that didn't happen, she didn't listen, or she broke open the cashbox and went to town on her pills phone.

Given the proximity to her move - did the fraus know she was moving to a really really smol, ickle flat? - I now assume she was boxed up with the other rusty cutlery and put in the van so her long-suffering enablers friends and family actually make sure she left the bungamansion and didn't just stay there, alone in an empty room, twitting about Vienetta and favourite bleeping pick'n'mix sweets, forever.

 

[Boogs]

It was quite curious how she reappeared, tried to have a normal few "hey, what's your favourite ice cream cone? " "what is the DEAL with hash browns" days and then swiftly disappeared after she went all night with her grievance.

Makes me wonder if there was a swift behind the scenes

View attachment 1944865

Maybe she is as we speak trying to break out of twitter jail.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I asked Positive News for their source and/or evidence that Jack campaigns for the CPAG. They replied that she is listed as one of their ambassadors on their website. That’s it.
<Insert eye rolls>

She's not, though - their amabassadors are Simon Callow, Jassa Ahluwalia, and Paul Tennant according to https://cpag.org.uk/about-cpag/our-people/our-ambassadors

She was an ambassador for them back in 2013, but I can't find any mention of her involvement later than August of that year.

 

[Katkat]

She's not, though - their amabassadors are Simon Callow, Jassa Ahluwalia, and Paul Tennant according to https://cpag.org.uk/about-cpag/our-people/our-ambassadors

She was an ambassador for them back in 2013, but I can't find any mention of her involvement later than August of that year.

I guess no one does any research anymore? Or she was listed until recently…

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

She's overtaken Amber Heard on the Grifties leader board. Currently sitting at No. 24.

 

[MavisBeacon]

There's no way she's getting 10k for Cambridge. It's a 250 seat venue, plus there is Kit and the hapless host. It's sponsored by the New Statesman, but it's basically a book plugging event, which usually pays very poorly (if at all) compared with corporate gigs. I would guess she's getting somewhere around 1-2k for it absolutely max.