Jack Monroe #469 Spam fits my macros.

[PoorPatrol]

Just read an article about Hannah from S Club 7 being “homeless” and not one bit of her story makes any sense. Including the fact that during her S-Club days she was ‘only’ on £150,000 a year and this is why she now has no money nearly thirty years later….. except for the coffee shop she owns I’m now so alert to the grifty ways of these types of people. So thanks Jack, I guess. Thanks for all you do. You’re a force for good in this world.

 

[camotea]

Forensically, Jack was 16 years old when Counting Crows won an Oscar for best song (Accidentally in Love from Shrek). I’ll be an absolute bleeping snob and say that is very unadjacent from how rebs discover stuff. But wtf do I know.

 

[PoorPatrol]

From that early 2013 Xanthe Clay interview.

Spoiler: SHE IS VILE

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Lol I know this isn’t the point here at all - but since when was SB ever curly haired? So bizarre how not one single thing ever adds up, ever when written by seemingly impartial others!! Some children ~are~ very indulged, yes. Not poor sweet SB though, who seems to get the crappy end of every stick

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Oh my...

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Like a 14 year old discovering fake tan for the first time.

 

[Tiffany Dupes]

Spoiler: ED Timeline Mither

Apologies but as an ED Frau I’m oddly triggered by that Gloss post where she says she’s lost 6lb and it’s sent me down a receipts rabbit hole. Unfortunately I’m not brill at Tattle searches and she has deleted everything with the phrase ED in it from Twitter. Would anyone like to help me gather together the ED contradictions or tell me to duck off and stop obsessing!?

go well pals

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

Like a 14 year old discovering fake tan for the first time.

Talking of fake tan, can we please mither about this? I'd usually be reluctant to accuse someone with Greek heritage of blackfishing (I'd assume it was their natural colour after being in the sun) but literally the only time I've ever seen her look this dark is at the same time that she's sporting an appropriated hairstyle


Also: sort your bleeping eyebrows out.

 

[Claymorekick]

Just read an article about Hannah from S Club 7 being “homeless” and not one bit of her story makes any sense. Including the fact that during her S-Club days she was ‘only’ on £150,000 a year and this is why she now has no money nearly thirty years later….. except for the coffee shop she owns I’m now so alert to the grifty ways of these types of people. So thanks Jack, I guess. Thanks for all you do. You’re a force for good in this world.

I have literally just read that too and thought exactly the same. The article said something along the lines of how everyone thought they were paid a fortune when in the band...well I would say £150k per year at 20 years of age is a lot of money. So maybe they should have investerd some? I also read it that they are homeless because of rental properties falling through rather than being unable to afford to pay rent and then it means she is not prepared to rejoin S Club 7 as she won't work for pittance. Well if you were genuinely homeless and poor, you would work for any money wouldn't you? Made very little sense to me!

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Just read an article about Hannah from S Club 7 being “homeless” and not one bit of her story makes any sense. Including the fact that during her S-Club days she was ‘only’ on £150,000 a year and this is why she now has no money nearly thirty years later….. except for the coffee shop she owns I’m now so alert to the grifty ways of these types of people. So thanks Jack, I guess. Thanks for all you do. You’re a force for good in this world.

Bullshit, isnt it. She was asked to pay rent upfront (usual for self employed) and she said it was extortionate. The time between one tenancy ending & finding a new place is the reason shes 'homeless'. Not due to finances.

 

[Foxvint]

Can we bring back the 'women of the year award' tweet while its quiet. The one where her kid (can't call him SB sorry just can't), knocked it off the shelf an broke it an was more upset than her except of course he didn't, she just wanted newer followers to know she had 1 of those mickey mouse meaningless ego trinkets

 

[AlwightDallin]

Bullshit, isnt it. She was asked to pay rent upfront (usual for self employed) and she said it was extortionate. The time between one tenancy ending & finding a new place is the reason shes 'homeless'. Not due to finances.

Poor flower, maybe she can volunteer at shelter or a soup station on the streets then she’ll stop throwing around words like homeless when she has zero understanding of what she is saying, the little sympathy sucker.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

You have THRUST me into PENURY!

I am .

Imagine how many people and entities Jack has had had cause to LOUDLY EXCLAIM this at over the last 11+ years

Live in 2011 girlfriend, Old Chief, the TERRIFYING benefits system, EVIL pov landlords who wanted their rent, Grandad (DEAD) who didn’t leave her a forever slum, rich Leggy who LEFT, The Guardian for ending her column, Sainsbury’s for ending her campaign, Old/New Thieving Agent Adrian, Kickstarter backers, the people who “hacked her account and stole 5 grand”, Jamie Oliver for getting HER tv show, the BBC for not renewing DKL or inviting her onto Strictly, the corner shop that sold her all the whiskey, LJC who LEFT and EVIL LANDLADY of (inherited so therefore free) bungahouse, anyone who cancels their Patreon, rich Old Harold who LEFT, and always always her son, EVIL EVIL TORIES and Dave and Ev.

(Never dealers or the Cotswold Company though, ironically)

ETA next time I give my Old Harold some $ to get me a coffee or something in a shop and he forgets to give me my 37 cents/$1 change, I’m going to SHOUT “You have THRUST me into PENURY” at him. I think we’ll both enjoy that

 

[HotesTilaire]

Talking of fake tan, can we please mither about this? I'd usually be reluctant to accuse someone with Greek heritage of blackfishing (I'd assume it was their natural colour after being in the sun) but literally the only time I've ever seen her look this dark is at the same time that she's sporting an appropriated hairstyle


Also: sort your bleeping eyebrows out.
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At the time we said it was black fishing. I think she got some hassle on twitter coz she went on some long nonsense excuse that the plaits were done by a hairdresser who is woman of colour, which is obviously untrue as they’re tit

 

[I'm not actually here]

I have literally just read that too and thought exactly the same. The article said something along the lines of how everyone thought they were paid a fortune when in the band...well I would say £150k per year at 20 years of age is a lot of money. So maybe they should have investerd some? I also read it that they are homeless because of rental properties falling through rather than being unable to afford to pay rent and then it means she is not prepared to rejoin S Club 7 as she won't work for pittance. Well if you were genuinely homeless and poor, you would work for any money wouldn't you? Made very little sense to me!

I probably haven't earned 150k in my entire life. And unlikely to earn much more than that by the time I draw a pension - if they still exist by then! Clearly live on an entirely different planet to these so-called Povs.

Also, reading all these links whilst she is flouncing makes me wonder if she has EVER said anything nice about her own child? I haven't seen one thing yet that isn't accompanied by snark or nastiness aimed at him. Poor kid.

 

[The carlin]

Bored so having a read of Mrs Gloss

When was she sober again?

duck me! does she ever, ever, ever not mention that one time she experienced being poor. She's like bleeping uncle Albert off only fools and horses with his 'during the war' stories

"During the pov..... " duck THE duck OFF!!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Spoiler: ED Timeline Mither

Apologies but as an ED Frau I’m oddly triggered by that Gloss post where she says she’s lost 6lb and it’s sent me down a receipts rabbit hole. Unfortunately I’m not brill at Tattle searches and she has deleted everything with the phrase ED in it from Twitter. Would anyone like to help me gather together the ED contradictions or tell me to duck off and stop obsessing!?

go well pals

I’m really sorry. I was the one who posted that and I meant to actually squig that line out as it was completely irrelevant, and she’s a bleep-and I forgot to do so. I’ll do better next time.

Spoiler: TW ED: To your question

It’s one of those things (like the prostitution and stealing food to survive, being evicted etc etc during the pov) that she’s increasingly embellished over time and changed as it’s served her needs.

I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you, not least because not only is it exceptionally triggering but it makes you absolutely beyond furious when you start pulling it together, as with much else she’s weaponized TW free (like the multiple contradictory TW-free lurid accounts of her various alleged su***de attempts for eg)

Suffice to say, it’s brought up in a number of her interviews and is summed up perfectly (and nonsensically, and “never heard this version before-ally”) here in the most recent one, the Hattenstone Guardian piece. That gives you the flavour of the past X number of years of this particular strand of her bullshit.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I’m going to repost this because it’s so apparent from the tales of their shirts, toothbrushes, socks on the floor for her to pick up and their overwhelming stench of Lynx and Wotsits that just like all the other made up people in her stories, she’s never actually met an actual man IRL, let alone had one in her EXECUTIVE LUXURY FLAT

Scummy Single Mummy Does Dating: Echo & Gazette Column, 15th Jan 2013

The trouble with being professionally single is, well, it leaves you professionally single. When the greatest achievement on your CV is a double page spread in the national press for spending £10 a...

web.archive.org

The most lesbian of all lesbians to have ever lezzed, right there.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I probably haven't earned 150k in my entire life. And unlikely to earn much more than that by the time I draw a pension - if they still exist by then! Clearly live on an entirely different planet to these so-called Povs.

Also, reading all these links whilst she is flouncing makes me wonder if she has EVER said anything nice about her own child? I haven't seen one thing yet that isn't accompanied by snark or nastiness aimed at him. Poor kid.

She’s nice about him when he’s her human shield. When the GoHenry chaos kicked off, it was all “my wonderful son, who was selflessly buying a present for someone because he’s so kind, had his card rejected” ok hun well don’t tell the internet you’re misusing his card

 

[L3moning]

Why does she need a parking space when she can't drive? I'm apparently entitled to one here but I don't own a car, so what's the point?

There are enough parking spaces for all the flats / houses where I live, but not that many of us have cars, me included, so they're always empty.

---

Also I am much older than Jack and did indeed do the whole ’press record on your tape player when the top 20 was on the radio on Sundays‘ thing. But she wouldn’t have done that ever. She’s too young.

If she weren’t such a thundercunt I’d feel sorry for how little sense of self she has.

I did record some songs off the radio, although not from the chart show. I'm 2 years older than Jack.

 

[Dogmuck]

Anyone done a welfare check on Wonky? It’s hard for us without Jack but imagine how much harder it is for her super fan. My thoughts and prayers are with you Wonks at this difficult time

 

[imBUSY]

At this juncture I wish to officially start the campaign to have
DRAMATIC PAUSE .. Still I rinse
as the thread title as it will make us all chuckle for days.

DRAMATIC PAUSE from the Slop Empress herself, rest of it from @imBUSY

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I think this is a fine suggestion.