Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

[SweetTransvestite]

It's the ickle fragile lil voice she puts on in the first one for me

Nauseating isn't it That voice, the knife on the worktop and constant bambi-esque eye bleeping of the camera. Grim.

-Oh, and despite there being nothing plugged in (probably sold whatever it was) she's not flicked the switch off at the mains. I'm raging.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

And then dumps it into a cold oil free pan

Jelly, you KNOW she ISN’T LIKE all those SUPER FAST AND FANCY CHOPPERS.

FFS do you LITERALLY want her to STOP BREATHING? Or perhaps chop all the veg first?

Sort of get a mise en place, ummm… in place. If you will.

My critics often tell me I’m too pretty to be au fait familiar with “restaurant industry parlance” terminology, so I defer to Jack’s expertise here.

 

[MancBee]

I’m imagining this from 2019 will have been at least some of the “dirt” she will have been claiming at Greenbelt. TW: sexual assault

Spoiler

View attachment 1909026
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It’s from the Guardian article in Dec 2019, but the Mail also ran with it and quoted her.

Alcoholism doesn't confine me any longer – and it doesn't define me either | Jack Monroe

Gone are the dreadful hangovers, regrets and shame that went hand in glove with addiction, replaced after 12 months with a rekindled love of life, family and friends

www.theguardian.com

Food writer Jack Monroe celebrates a year of sobriety

Jack Monroe, 31, bravely opened up about her drinking habits in a frank article in the Observer, revealing she would use alcohol as a crutch for dealing with fame.

www.dailymail.co.uk

I wonder if the "household name journalists" (I see it's plural) would describe the situation very differently. I wonder if their recollections may vary.

Just a thought.

 

[TankGirl]

BIB - Thread title!!! Yes I know it's too early but DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP BREATHING?

EVERYONE wants to be TankGirl

 

[Bellaboos]

She can’t even put in the effort of following her own lies.

She’s so full of tit no enema on earth could empty her.

She can’t even put in the effort of following her own lies.



Too early for a thread title nom?

 

[Dogmuck]

Ooo I think I’ve uncovered something (not a biggy), I’m not as forensic as other fraus and herrs, and I’ve not been following Jack as long as other more vintage fraus, so happy to be told otherwise.
I’m looking at YouTube videos of our Jackie. (I’ll post the links) but are these the same kitchen? The kitchen she couldn’t paint and all that. They are posted from around the same time..

How posh and unnasally does she sound in that first vid? It’s like listening to a lady Di interview. No mockney accent for this posh your poor single mother

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

The sad thing about those guardian videos is she is better at it than she is now.

That curry is poor though. It’s very very basic student cookery at best. Although they would expect much more from GCSE cookery.

 

[lilykestrel]

Jelly, you KNOW she ISN’T LIKE all those SUPER FAST AND FANCY CHOPPERS.

View attachment 1909099

FFS do you LITERALLY want her to STOP BREATHING? Or perhaps chop all the veg first?

Sort of get a mise en place, ummm… in place. If you will.
View attachment 1909105

My critics often tell me I’m too pretty to be au fait familiar with “restaurant industry parlance” terminology, so I defer to Jack’s expertise here.

but you could ... chop the onion then heat the oil for 5 minutes

 

[MancBee]

Ooo I think I’ve uncovered something (not a biggy), I’m not as forensic as other fraus and herrs, and I’ve not been following Jack as long as other more vintage fraus, so happy to be told otherwise.
I’m looking at YouTube videos of our Jackie. (I’ll post the links) but are these the same kitchen? The kitchen she couldn’t paint and all that. They are posted from around the same time..

They keep zooming in to the mirror tiles in that first video.

The tiles are filthy. Quelle Surprise (and that's your actual French)

 

[Foxvint]

Wonder if the household name journos would make the memoir? You can't reveal something like that then say nothing more in a memoir. I can't see it going ahead. Who's the audience for that? 1 unbalanced butterfly

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hnngggghhhhhh! Why did I watch that, whyyyyy???
Also, what’s the mustard doing in there? Mustard seed, sure, but English mustard?

I have no avocados so shall softly gently tenderly serve my Old Harold banana, poached egg and smoked salmon on toast for breakfast, then painstakingly whip up a delicious cacophony of banana guacamole to have on fajitas this eve

 

[I'm not actually here]

Oh my, you are correct! I failed to update the note on my phone. A truly Jack moment, I am so ashamed.

Record broken on 1st Dec when we hit 271 hours. Currently on 84 hours. To break that, it would be Feb 2nd!

But.. But... I don't want to have to get a life again. I like it here. Make her come back sooner. WARNED

 

[Captainmouse]

I also imagine Mr Fluffington having Dramatic Paws

#thread title

 

[Cookiecookie]

Jelly, you KNOW she ISN’T LIKE all those SUPER FAST AND FANCY CHOPPERS.

View attachment 1909099

FFS do you LITERALLY want her to STOP BREATHING? Or perhaps chop all the veg first?

Sort of get a mise en place, ummm… in place. If you will.
View attachment 1909105

My critics often tell me I’m too pretty to be au fait familiar with “restaurant industry parlance” terminology, so I defer to Jack’s expertise here.

What? I'm a slow chopper also, so I never start my pan until everything's ready. Is Jack suggesting other people heat the pan before they start chopping or something?

 

[diva.wps]

Lol she’s also said both 17 and 18 in the past.

I wonder if the “Somalian and Italian” will be surprised to learn that that honking dipshit furtively twatting around with their food was actually a 20 year old pretending to be 16?

View attachment 1908970

Somalian and Italian - were they visiting the church and stopped over at her parents place while she was living there? I don’t believe anything she says. Nothing!!

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Jelly, you KNOW she ISN’T LIKE all those SUPER FAST AND FANCY CHOPPERS.

View attachment 1909099

FFS do you LITERALLY want her to STOP BREATHING? Or perhaps chop all the veg first?

Sort of get a mise en place, ummm… in place. If you will.
View attachment 1909105

My critics often tell me I’m too pretty to be au fait familiar with “restaurant industry parlance” terminology, so I defer to Jack’s expertise here.

This, for me, is Jacks peak thick. CHOP VEG FIRST. HEAT OIL AS NEEDED.

 

[LadyGarden]

The screenshot below will always be the best part of her Edinburgh appearance.

I'm desperate to know who this sister is that she refers to. When did Yannis get married? Perhaps she's one of those people who refer to their SIL as their sister?

 

[Nurseali]

She can’t even put in the effort of following her own lies.

She’s so full of tit no enema on earth could empty her.

I would like to have a go though

Go in dry. No lube

 

[Jelly Bean]

What? I'm a slow chopper also, so I never start my pan until everything's ready. Is Jack suggesting other people heat the pan before they start chopping or something?

Yes. Yes that is what she is saying. So it becomes a chopping race against time.
She chops everything first and dumps it in a cold pan. Instead of chopping everything first and then heating the pan to put it in. Makes perfect sense

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

Didn't get the chance to reply to the convo about SH scars in the last thread.

SH etc

I have a similar skin tone to Jack - pale olive, so although I'm very much white and would never describe myself otherwise, I tan very easily and my torso, arms and legs are never the Celtic pink/white colour. Even in winter I'm more of a yellowish colour. I have a lot of minor scars from self-harm, acne, chicken pox, cat related injuries etc and they are very, very visible on my slightly darker skin. There is no way she has ever tried to suicide or self harmed through cutting. The scars would be very obvious on her photos, even with the terrible tattoos. Like I say - even my chicken pox scars from when I was 5 are still visible on my chest and shoulders.