Jack Monroe #463 Is she on the game for Farrow & Ball?

[Valiofthedolls]

Wasn't there some mithering about her accountant and the drawer full of vibrators?

Yep. About dildoes and some crap about being able to write them off as a source of warmth/heat, or some equally tenuously shoehorned in shite. Much like the time she implied in her cookbook that as it’s vaguely cock-shaped, everyone could shove a courgette(?!) up their flue, but that as she’s a “nice girl” she’s not going to suggest that, but provide a courgette recipe instead.

In so, so many ways she’s perpetually stuck in some sort of arrested development as a not particularly mature adolescent. It’s pathetic-and embarrassing.

 

[Lazarus]

Sorry if this has been covered already, I’m catching up between meetings so glancing mostly, rather than absorbing everything.
didn’t she say the rinsed hoops was borne out of someone who contacted her saying they always had spaghetti hoops leftover from their foodbank parcel and she was trying to do something imaginative with them? You know; instead of the guy just saying to the foodbank that he didn’t like them?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Spoiler: Accountant

View attachment 1889202

My tax returns have been with my accountant for weeks, she says on 26th August 2022, as though delivering a killer blow. LOL which returns would they be then? The 2020 ones?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

My tax returns have been with my accountant for weeks, she says on 26th August 2022, as though delivering a killer blow. LOL which returns would they be then? The 2020 ones?

"I gave my accountant friend, from Dave's church, access to my paypal, and 42 boxes full of post it notes, weeks ago, (in April for year end). Unsurprisingly, she has spent the last 4 months unable to make sense of it, and ~ may ~ refuse to complete and sign the return, to protect herself, for legal reasons" .

(Eta punctuation)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

My tax returns have been with my accountant for weeks, she says on 26th August 2022, as though delivering a killer blow. LOL which returns would they be then? The 2020 ones?

In fairness to her (), on NYE 2020 she was trying to retrospectively figure out where the duck all her money had gone that year. By asking Twitter.

I don’t think you need a budget has special sideboards/dressers/shoe benches categories though…

I also LOVE that she only wanted to do it for the year past, not to keep an eye on what she was spending on from then forward “not as an ongoing project”. That should be a massive bleeping red flag to anyone chucking money at her that she 1. Hasd enough £££ that she has spent with no clue where it went, and 2. Has no interest in managing her spending going forwards.

Hardly the actions someone on the bones of their arse and on a stringent £20 a week budget, is it?

 

[Enwre]

FGS

narcissist much?

Make it make sense! Picks up public social media tool to say “Please give me privacy at this time as my bones crumble into dust”

Why not just NOT pick up the public social media tool?!

 

[Suffolkmum]

Sadly the broccoli has gone to the great freezer in the sky along with the eels and chicken livers (RIP).

And all that poor fish.

 

[Veronicaaa]

In fairness to her (), on NYE 2020 she was trying to retrospectively figure out where the duck all her money had gone that year. By asking Twitter.
View attachment 1889268View attachment 1889269
I don’t think you need a budget has special sideboards/dressers/shoe benches categories though…

I also LOVE that she only wanted to do it for the year past, not to keep an eye on what she was spending on from then forward “not as an ongoing project”. That should be a massive bleeping red flag to anyone chucking money at her that she 1. Hasd enough £££ that she has spent with no clue where it went, and 2. Has no interest in managing her spending going forwards.

Hardly the actions someone on the bones of their arse and on a stringent £20 a week budget, is it?

Why is she SUCH a massive idiot? Seriously. No access to her own bank statements?? She needs an *app*???

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I've just been having a look at Old CockToes' website and came across the rinsed hoops 'recipe' again, which is a hoot, but by jove the level of snark in the very long preamble is overwhelming. What an arse she is.
I think she has updated this text since last year. Narcs are so thin-skinned

I appreciate the opiate Fraus talking about this subject. Have been dependent on them for nine years...it's no joke, and can be a lonely place. Jackie thinks it's all just a laugh...and that the chip stains and grease will come out in the bath etc. Ever the tourist.

ETA: Not dependent. Addicted. I have never said that to anybody. I certainly wouldn't be flippant about it in a newspaper interview. Not fishing btw, just highlighting that CToes knows nothing about the reality of her tourist destinations.

“I sometimes run my mouth through my fingertips”
Such good words. Many good words.

 

[Nurseali]

I have just done a Les Mills bike class for 45 minutes.
I can no longer feel my legs , my fringe is stuck to my head and my bum has a category two pressure sore.

Might mention it on twitter and see if I get bearded creeps offering to rub me down.

(Add just vomited in my own mouth writing that to my ailments)

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Can u imagine what an unbearable Bridezilla she'd be if anyone was stupid enough to marry her. The endless help-me-choose tweets boring the tits off everyone. The endless peacocking as if she's the 1st bride with tats. An ongoing vesuvius of self-important drivel

Bib for thread title nomination “An ongoing vesuvius of self-important drivel”

 

[ForgettyBetty]

My bank does have a spending breakdown feature, I don't use it but assume you'd have to tag every regular recipient.
As if an app will know what category of spending everything was without you telling it lol. So just fill in a spreadsheet yourself, it's the exact same thing.
*Note her reference to more than one bank, not just 3 pots in a Monzo

 

[zetta buttons]

I have just done a Les Mills bike class for 45 minutes.
I can no longer feel my legs , my fringe is stuck to my head and my bum has a category two pressure sore.

Might mention it on twitter and see if I get bearded creeps offering to rub me down.

(Add just vomited in my own mouth writing that to my ailments)

Spoiler: les mills rpm

Glen is the man. Get yourself onto #94- They have old skool toons on that one like Coolio.

OT. Many online banking apps can filter your spending by type*. She’s such a bleeping tool.

*admittedly Santander won’t know my Savers spending is all Pepsi and not zoflora but you get the drift.

 

[MavisBeacon]

In fairness to her (), on NYE 2020 she was trying to retrospectively figure out where the duck all her money had gone that year. By asking Twitter.
View attachment 1889268View attachment 1889269
I don’t think you need a budget has special sideboards/dressers/shoe benches categories though…

I also LOVE that she only wanted to do it for the year past, not to keep an eye on what she was spending on from then forward “not as an ongoing project”. That should be a massive bleeping red flag to anyone chucking money at her that she 1. Hasd enough £££ that she has spent with no clue where it went, and 2. Has no interest in managing her spending going forwards.

Hardly the actions someone on the bones of their arse and on a stringent £20 a week budget, is it?

Funny how her FORENSIC autistic superpower of attention to detail doesn't extend to money...

 

[Brian Butterfield]

ATTENTION PLEASE

 

[Veronicaaa]

Funny how her FORENSIC autistic superpower of attention to detail doesn't extend to money...

Accidental economist

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Why is she SUCH a massive idiot? Seriously. No access to her own bank statements?? She needs an *app*???

@Veronicaaa she was TOO BUSY for bank statements and Excel even though she’d LOVE to use it. But it’s ok because she’s going to PUT ALL HER SPENDS IN HER DIARY in 2021. (PS some transactions need to be SECRET from her accountant nudge nudge wink wink)

Spoiler

All different squigs. Including one who had the measure of her…

 

[zetta buttons]

Yes, she’s a massive idiot. Who’s TOO BUSY for Excel even though she’d LOVE to use it. But she’s going to PUT IT IN HER DIARY in 2021. (PS some transactions need to be SECRET from her accountant nudge nudge wink wink)

Spoiler

All different squigs. Including one who had the measure of her…View attachment 1889303View attachment 1889304View attachment 1889305

She colours in wallpaper ffs. This can’t be too big a job.

 

[Nurseali]

Spoiler: les mills rpm

Glen is the man. Get yourself onto #94- They have old skool toons on that one like Coolio.

Just joined a gym that has opened near me I have never been a mad exercise person but enjoying it so far. Menopause weight sucks. Love old skool though so will enquire

 

[SendReceive]

My bank does have a spending breakdown feature, I don't use it but assume you'd have to tag every regular recipient.
As if an app will know what category of spending everything was without you telling it lol. So just fill in a spreadsheet yourself, it's the exact same thing.
*Note her reference to more than one bank, not just 3 pots in a Monzo

There are some open banking apps which auto-categorise transactions based on who the payee is, the amount and frequency, how other users categorise etc. “Emma” is one. But I imagine that even the most advanced AI would very much struggle to make sense of Jack’s financials.