Jack Monroe #463 Is she on the game for Farrow & Ball?

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I’ve pulled a muscle in my neck and it really hurts to turn my head to the left, please leave me alone to recover during this difficult time. I can’t believe you all want to trample all over me while I’m broken and dusty.
 
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Bit of a difference now from a year ago when her twitter thread went viral and all sorts of eejits enabled her big head.
But can we please take a moment to remember this tweet which occurred a year on Thursday.
She called Hugh Grant 'H' 😂😂😂
The massive twit.
Did he get a mention in The Book?

View attachment 1889176

(thanks @Veronicaaa for screenshot)
I'm only surprised H didn't get a mention in her Grifty Kitchen acknowledgements.
 
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It is incredible what an opportunity she had and how she managed to duck it up so spectacularly 🥰
 
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She has an accountant? Hmm 🤔
Not merely an accountant, tenderstem. This is Jackworld after all, where all the “experts” have two jobs (see also coffee shop worker dog groomers, therapist publishers). Jack has a Sunday School Teacher Accountant.
 
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Just to put the tramadol thing into perspective and i know it’s been done to death BUT

When I was put on tramadol i was given the lowest effective dose at first, 50mg twice a day.

The NHS website confirms the lowest standard tramadol tablet is 50mg.

Jack, taking 40 a day at 50ml was on 2000mg tramadol per day.

There are two types of tramadol, slow release and fast release. It is not recommended that anyone regardless of height weight etc should take more than 300mg for slow and 400ml for fast.

It states if you take an extra dose by accident, you should be okay but if you take two extra doses you should call 111.

Jack was, by her own admission, taking 1700 / 1600ml OVER the MAXIMUM recommended amount EVERY DAY for 18 months (plus other meds and drink). And even then this is on the assumption she was taking 40 of the most basic low dose trams you can get.

She‘s lying, obviously, but even if she was telling the truth where was she getting a prescription for 1120 tramadol a month and if she wasn’t, who paid who to get them?

Isn't it A REAL COINCIDENCE that Jack revealed her 40 opiate pills a day habit shortly after Friends Megastar Matthew Perry wrote his memoir in which he detailed that, at the height of his addiction, he was taking 80 opiate pills a day?

Here's the interesting thing: Matthew Perry almost died from his addiction to opiates, and he was visibly frail and ill in many of the seasons of Friends. There is no doubt that he was a chronic addict.

Jack was supposedly on Tramadol (Perry on Oxy - much stronger), but the attention seeking numerical claims are the same.

For the record, I have read Perry's memoir, and whilst he's pretty egocentric, there's also no doubt that he was severely addicted to opiates and alcohol. I believe he was taking 80 pills at the very height of a long-term, debilitating, nearly-fatal addictive trajectory.

Jack is claiming to have consumed multiple-fatal doses of opiates, alongside multiple-fatal doses of alcohol on a week. Her claim to have consumed a bottle of whiskey a day and 40 Tramadol equates to a weekly total of at least:

14,000mg of Tramadol
196 units of alcohol

Whilst living Extremely Online. And parenting a child. And working *** hour weeks. And etc etc

She probably did get a Tramadol prescription, and probably did take more than she was meant to. But could a person imbibe to the extent she claims and nobody notice?

Makes you think...
 
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Not merely an accountant, tenderstem. This is Jackworld after all, were all the “experts” have two jobs (see also coffee shop worker dog groomers, therapist publishers). Jack has a Sunday School Teacher Accountant.
Ah yes I remember now. Could explain a lot.
 
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Since we’re back on the subject of her medication lies, another thing I wondered recently was has she ever specifically said which betablocker she takes? Because she also claims to have asthma and a lot of betablockers are contraindicated in patients with asthma because one of the side effects is bronchospasm. They don’t tend to prescribe even the cardioselective ones (which generally have less incidences of bronchospasm so are safer for those with respiratory issues if used at low doses) to asthmatics because generally there are far better alternative medications which can be used instead.
Yep, me and my partner have both been denied beta blockers by our doctors because we both have asthma. I have it incredibly mildly now as an adult and only need an inhaler in the winter when it's freezing but they
I had a thought tonight while I was soaking in the bath- if she wants to be left alone why doesn't she just lock her haunted bird account? She already locks the replies and doesn't interact with anybody outside of her crappy comments club (if she can help it as it just invites a swarm of replies from the usual suspects- it's usually the snarky quote tweets that she does reply to), so those who follow her would see her filthy stinking sheets, boring twaddle about repurposed urinal cake cookies and caravan commode effluent smoothies, so what's the point in keeping it open? She has half a million followers (dropping like a stone though. Lols).
Unless of course she bleeping loves the attention here and elsewhere that it generates.

Really, really *really* makes you think.
Any normal person would. If I was getting what I deemed to be 'abuse' online then I'd lock it, that's what the function is for.

But she won't because then she won't have any excuse for her moaning. If it was only people that liked her who she accepted as followers there would be no drama and what would her life be without that?

She'll never do it and will give some BS excuse about not doing it because then she won't be able to provide her recipes and knowledge (!) to others unless they follow her.
 
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It is incredible what an opportunity she had and how she managed to duck it up so spectacularly 🥰
A few years from now:

Well, he came from the poly just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
What I'd really like, Mama, is to not hear again
the tale of the book that sunk like a drain
 
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It is incredible what an opportunity she had and how she managed to duck it up so spectacularly 🥰
It really is. Reading the threads here from a year ago after that viral tweet we were all exasperated at how many bluetickers were singing her praises. She was absolutely giddy and full of being 'so exhausted but gently, softly being put to bed' by loved ones. Sickening.
And this was before bloody Nigella shoved tens of thousands of pounds in her unworthy direction. For the VBI 😂
 
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I’ve pulled a muscle in my neck and it really hurts to turn my head to the left, please leave me alone to recover during this difficult time. I can’t believe you all want to trample all over me while I’m broken and dusty.
I hope you're not as dusty as Aunt Helen.

Because Aunt Helen is DEAD.
 
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Isn't it A REAL COINCIDENCE that Jack revealed her 40 opiate pills a day habit shortly after Friends Megastar Matthew Perry wrote his memoir in which he detailed that, at the height of his addiction, he was taking 80 opiate pills a day?

Here's the interesting thing: Matthew Perry almost died from his addiction to opiates, and he was visibly frail and ill in many of the seasons of Friends. There is no doubt that he was a chronic addict.

Jack was supposedly on Tramadol (Perry on Oxy - much stronger), but the attention seeking numerical claims are the same.

For the record, I have read Perry's memoir, and whilst he's pretty egocentric, there's also no doubt that he was severely addicted to opiates and alcohol. I believe he was taking 80 pills at the very height of a long-term, debilitating, nearly-fatal addictive trajectory.

Jack is claiming to have consumed multiple-fatal doses of opiates, alongside multiple-fatal doses of alcohol on a week. Her claim to have consumed a bottle of whiskey a day and 40 Tramadol equates to a weekly total of at least:

14,000mg of Tramadol
196 units of alcohol

Whilst living Extremely Online. And parenting a child. And working *** hour weeks. And etc etc

She probably did get a Tramadol prescription, and probably did take more than she was meant to. But could a person imbibe to the extent she claims and nobody notice?

Makes you think...
I completely agree with this. I know people hide disorders/addiction’s spectacularly well sometimes but at some point, if it spirals to such an extent, the addiction/disorder does become visible. Firstly to those close to the individual, then to the wider circle and finally (if applicable) to a public audience.

As you say, with Perry it was obvious to everyone that something was going on. With Jack, the time when she seemed most unwell was during lockdown and during the first half of this year. That speaks volumes.
 
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I like to think so too H of C 🤗 Hopefully he'd have spotted her as more of a Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler than a Capt Vimes.

Though CMOT Dibbler actually did provide a useful service - turned up reliably at every major event and disaster with his stall selling rat-onna-stick and genuine pig in a bun... Jack would be four hours late or just not show up and then whine that CMOT had got up in her niche or something.
That really made me 🦉 and 🍾 ! I can easily imagine JM being a failure trying to sell sausage-onna-stick.😁😁😁
 
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When is old Thirsty Allslop due her next burger session?
Let’s see if Matt Gloss, Painting Expert can take some time out from helping Jack choose her new interior design and ask him…
”Oi, Jack, how about this one for the second bedroom?”
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Mind you, they might have more in common than we suspected…you could literally substitute her name for his and we’d all find this entirely plausible/probable as a JackClaim
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I've just been having a look at Old CockToes' website and came across the rinsed hoops 'recipe' again, which is a hoot, but by jove the level of snark in the very long preamble is overwhelming. What an arse she is.
I think she has updated this text since last year. Narcs are so thin-skinned 😂

I appreciate the opiate Fraus talking about this subject. Have been dependent on them for nine years...it's no joke, and can be a lonely place. Jackie thinks it's all just a laugh...and that the chip stains and grease will come out in the bath etc. Ever the tourist.

ETA: Not dependent. Addicted. I have never said that to anybody. I certainly wouldn't be flippant about it in a newspaper interview. Not fishing btw, just highlighting that CToes knows nothing about the reality of her tourist destinations.
Funnily enough, this is actually a safe place for you to say it. Nobody will judge, and you might find more understanding and support than you imagined. We have your back, dear ❤.
JM can totally get in the bin. Utter liar.
 
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