Jack Monroe #463 Is she on the game for Farrow & Ball?

[Marmalade Atkins]

sparkly black eye period, can Frau’s with better memories than me remember when that was?

The fall happened on 1st September 2020

Jack went to A&E the next day

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

At what point does she realise that she's the author of her own misfortune?*

99% of her output on twitter is not needed. As has been said many, many times, no one needs to know the colour of her walls or whether she's moved her office, etc.A, it's unbelievably dull but B, also, completely pointless.

Her need for attention, but also to control the narrative literally runs ramshod through everything, but you can't control what other people think if you. You also can't assume that people view things in the same way as you and that everyone willl agree with you. And you can't scream IM NOT WELL to everyone who questions statements you have made. All you can control is how you behave. Just don't bloody post it in the first place.

The patreon and tip jar performance is frankly disgusting. Stop the excuses, which are what all these statements are. Pause the Patreon and stop the PayPal begs. Refund the money. Learn from these colossal mistakes.

*never.

I'll never not laugh about that squig asking her if she had a professional account

 

[Edie Po]

My daughter wants a high sleeper bed.. BRB just on chat with ,Johnny from Argos seeing if he wants to exchange a BJ for the bed

 

[glubby]

Ain’t nobody sharing my bed…

AAVE Jack is one of my many Jack aneurysms. Why is a painfully awkward middle class woman from Essex larping as Omeretta the Great in full Atlanta Ho mode.

In general i really dislike the way some middle class peeps in the US and UK larp AAVE online when they wish to project “sassy”. Plays into so many damaging stereotypes that Black Women have to deal with. Plus AAVE is a dialect with a long and rich history. Shut up Jack you’re not Etta James today.

I hate this as well. I find it really patronising that people slip into it when they’re being ‘sassy’ also no British person should ever be saying ‘y’all’! it’s just awkward, and you know they’d NEVER say it out loud! As someone relatively new to the Jackiverse I am only recently saw this tweet and was astonished that she sounds like a completely different person with her y’alls and folks:

was this when she was trying to cultivate her American audience? It really hit me how inauthentic she is and how many different personas she has to switch around. One minute she’s all “golly gosh y’all folks gonna be the death o me” then the next she’s “alright me old muckers, let’s ave a good old knees up and don’t you start chattin any pony or me dad’ll shoot you with ‘is cannon!” I know certain words and phrases enter the online vernacular and become trendy for a bit but I feel like if I looked back on my own posts over several years they’d at least sound like they came from the same person?

 

[SendReceive]

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Guess this arthritis flare-up will prevent Jack pressing the refund button for MCOL squig then. Great news for Tattlers.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

That trip to A&E was the night she called us conspiracy wankers

 

[Goldman]

It pisses me off that she stuck around for years after Jack created and posted that horrendous chore chart for her 8 year old son TBH. I know we are all different but I’d have been out the fucking door calling the appropriate family members and whoever else I needed to report it to on the way, not moving into a shitty bungamansion with her and getting engaged to her a year later. Who the fuck does this to their young child and publicly humiliates him in this way?!

Seriously, THIS is not a massive red flag in a partner less than a year in and before the major commitments of rings and leases?! It would be for me.

Spoiler

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As it was, Jack publicly told everyone that among “SB”s jobs were: deal with the dirty towels, wipe the handles, door, sink, shower etc in the bathroom, including picking up and cleaning under the mats, plus to empty the bins in the bathroom and toilet (and so by implication clearing up “their” mess when LJC stayed over) as well as opening her bedroom curtains and wiping her bedroom door handles etc etc. FFS.
(Screenies @VeniVidiVicki)

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FUUUUUUUCK YOU, JACK!!!

Does this say "it's you that wees on it?"
I'm almost in tears. I could never even imagine humiliating my son like this, online or otherwise.

ETA

 

[GigglePops]

I've just been having a look at Old CockToes' website and came across the rinsed hoops 'recipe' again, which is a hoot, but by jove the level of snark in the very long preamble is overwhelming. What an arse she is.
I think she has updated this text since last year. Narcs are so thin-skinned

I appreciate the opiate Fraus talking about this subject. Have been dependent on them for nine years...it's no joke, and can be a lonely place. Jackie thinks it's all just a laugh...and that the chip stains and grease will come out in the bath etc. Ever the tourist.

ETA: Not dependent. Addicted. I have never said that to anybody. I certainly wouldn't be flippant about it in a newspaper interview. Not fishing btw, just highlighting that CToes knows nothing about the reality of her tourist destinations.

 

[Yel]

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Oh no. Does that mean the Scottish winter camping is off?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I had despression, i also had post natal despression., i have never blamed anyone for my despression or problems i have had due to them. When i was despressed. I stopped seeing my friends, hid away and just stayed out of the way. I didnt lie, cheat or hurt anyone as i didnt have the energy. I just said no to everyone but my kid.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

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If we didn’t already know she’s lonely and virtually friendless IRL, this is the clincher, isn’t it? Because for us mostly normal people, the last place we’d go if we were feeling crappy would be bloody Twitter. We’d have a little whinge to our family and whichever friends we were chatting with; we’d tell our boss; if we were actively talking to anyone else through whatever medium we’d probably mention feeling a bit crap (like I’ve done here today). But whinge on Twitter about it? lol nah.

Again, would feel bad/sorry for her if she hadn’t grifted “up to £350,000 last year” - but she did so I don’t feel bad for her.

Edit - Oh I am facepalming over here, I’ve only just clocked that as ever she’s lying and she’s not actually feeling crappy she’s just doing it for attention/pity. That she ain’t getting off me.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Twitter isn’t compulsory, dickhead.

thread title. dont care if too early. that's ot. that's the thread title

 

[Jelly Bean]

Bit of a difference now from a year ago when her twitter thread went viral and all sorts of eejits enabled her big head.
But can we please take a moment to remember this tweet which occurred a year on Thursday.
She called Hugh Grant 'H'
The massive twat.
Did he get a mention in The Book?

(thanks @Veronicaaa for screenshot)

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

It’s not poor memory that accounts for this

She can’t play the piano as that horrific one fingered bashing of New England showed. So her mum didn’t teach her to play

This is not about people’s recollections differing, it’s just her making shit up

 

[mackjonroe]

Becuse I am a forensic and petty frau I am going to start making an excel spreadsheets of dates that she is a cunt then the predictable sympathy posts a few days later.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Sat in a hospital waiting room at the moment (because I have real arthritis) and there's somebody on the TV talking about energy bills, benefits, food and shopping.


Not once has she howled or whined about herself or gone about shit that never happened over a decade ago and not a single sniff.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I'm just reading thread #66 again - the night of the black eye - where this older tweet reappears...

This will never not make me laugh.

Jack's just finished an hour of a Hellmann's live stream on Instagram...

not quite as on fire as usual

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Is this a new marketing strategy for the failed slop book? It's a novel one, getting your sad sack fans to post their own manky quilt covers in a bid to get sales up into at least the 3000s I'll give them that.

Or this oddball just decided to do this themselves which is even sadder. I could honestly cringe for these weirdos.

Norbert says I’m going to sit on this to save you from yourself. FREE NORBERT!!!

 

[Lucky Escape]

Can’t download her main banking app on her phone? So where did those poor screenshots zero in bank account come from? Hmmmmn

Let's look back at that little Jackfib:

(ss from @Marmalade Atkins on thread 385)

Note she only mentions "BaNk AcCoUnTs", not "BoNdS", or "IsAs" or "pAyPaL aCcOuNtS" - we know how deliberately tricksy with words she is, so we can safely conclude that she had much much more available to her than this.

It's also worth considering the wider picture - what else was happening in Jackworld at the time? Here's the timeline:

2nd July - Her "straight as an arrow" accountant is coming round, and she's baking a cake
26th July - On a Bootstrap Ltd is wound up
31st July - HH2 and giant tip-jar rattle
8th August - Submits the final manuscript for Grifty Kitchen - this may have triggered a partial advance payment
26th August - Her tax returns have been with her accountant "for weeks"
31st August - Her "publishing team" visit her at home
2nd September - No money in any of her back accounts, and another tip jar rattle
22nd September - We notice that 'Untitled Jack Monroe Memoir' has appeared on Amazon with a publication date of 14 September 2023
Some time in September - receives an advance for the new book, which she says is "not life-changing, but is situation-changing"

If she had no money on 2nd September, where had the HH2 tip jar proceeds gone to? What about the payment for completion of HH2? Why rattle the tipjar yet again when it looks as if she'd negotiated the contract for her memoir at the end of August?

ETA: No sign either of the "Summer of Memories" fund that she'd been building up from not drinking...

 

[Brian Butterfield]