Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Everytime she reveals how much money she has eg the farrow & ball tweet it becomes a wily plan to own the trolls hahaha. It's so cringe and transparent to anyone who isn't a fan an she needs to appeal to ppl who aren't for sales. The FMs must seem loud to her cos they're the only ppl she allows to speak but they're a tiny lunatic fringe group and won't sustain her career.

Why aren't her agent/publisher/manager reigning her in on twitter before they become tarnished by association. If you were looking for representation and you saw they had her in the stable surely you'd be like well if that's your product...

A small locked twitter for fam and friends where she can warble her crap unimpeded by reality and a professional work-only snark-free account would rehabilitate her dogshit reputation a substantial amount. But no, that'd mean a bit less attention and she could never. She's a hopeless case.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 52
That roast chicken looks disgusting.

Also the risotto makes no sense- baking spread or oil? 🤮
Lettuce? What bloody type of lettuce you imbecile!
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Sick
Reactions: 37
The sales figures for this terrible book are an absolute catastrophe.
It’s also hugely embarrassing, especially when you consider the pages of grandiose acknowledgments, as if she was receiving an Oscar or something, and all the A list name-dropping. (Gary Lineker FFS). Plus the comment about hoping the book would get her that “forever home”. And the high-profile endorsements from Nigella and Jay, who will now be forever associated with this sub-standard piece of crap.
I’d be astonished if any publisher ever takes a risk on her again.
Are you privvy to the full week sales tenderstem? 👀

Fingers crossed Carole gets the chop for this tit tbh. 1.9k half week units including presales and yhose BOGOF copies is bleeping abysmal.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 45
When I worked in the home dept. of Laura Ashley the consensus amongst my more experienced colleagues was that F&B paint was crap - thin, poor coverage, etc...

Prepared to be corrected though as I've never used it myself - I come from a family where 20 litres of brilliant white emulsion was the norm!
The decorator I used said she won't use F&B... except she didn't tell us that until after we’d actually bought the stuff (Liberty range, Archive). Anyway, I think it was a newer or better formulation, as she ended up really liking it. We've got Dulux Trade (Pale Walnut) in another two rooms, and they don't seem much different to me.

OK done. Wake up.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 35
This puts it as baldly in the press as I've ever seen it I think - specifically stating the drunk/spending/tramadol money was donated by the public, and was intended to support her work. And the FT too 😬
If that is not true (it is) that is the sort of thing you would think she should be litigious over.

View attachment 1883918

(@Veronicaaa screenshot).
Damning piece, calling her grift for what it is. Unfortunately I don't think the average FT reader even knows who she is, but I could be wrong.

Still cannot spell.🤦‍♀️
 
  • Like
Reactions: 26
I had always assumed that F&B paint was "traditional" in the sense of being formulated for lime-plaster walls. So: breathable (matt, no vinyl) and less colour-saturated to be applied to the more absorbent surface in several layers. Maybe explains why it seems thin and marks easily compared to modern expectations?
Then again I've never spent £50 on 2.5 litres of paint lol so have no actual experience of it!
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 33
I was just winding self up over her twitter replies and noticed she said that her new place has floor to ceiling windows.

Makes you think.
 
  • Wow
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 54
View attachment 1884369
Squig sums up her legal position, or lack of. She has destroyed any chance that she has of legals, and the call-outs are so frequent now that she couldn't sue them all if she even tried. She wouldn't allow her finances to be scrutinised in a legal case at this point anyway. Send LOL-os.
They'd have to advise people to bring their own chairs as there wouldn't be enough for the people being sued let alone the observers in their court outfits.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 39
Argh, I closed my window and now I can’t find the post, sorry can some dear frau link me to the Sunday express article again please.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 10
her instructions for cooking a chicken makes me want to cry 😭 so careless and miserable. Roasting a chicken is one of the most joyful and comforting things to cook imo.
I recommend simon hopkinson style (prob not exactly accurate but from memory):

pat dry, season with salt and pepper, cover in butter, slice a lemon in half and squeeze all over the chicken then stuff the inside the cavity with a sprig of thyme. 15 mins at 210, baste, then a further 40 mins at 170.then turn the oven off and leave the chicken inside with the door ajar for a further 10 mins.

Then slice the chicken and let it bathe in all the delicious buttery lemony juices in the dish. serve with some sort of potatoes, braised greens and a big dollop of mustard

670179FD-5556-4642-B1B3-2334828F286A.jpeg
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 81
View attachment 1884369
Squig sums up her legal position, or lack of. She has destroyed any chance that she has of legals, and the call-outs are so frequent now that she couldn't sue them all if she even tried. She wouldn't allow her finances to be scrutinised in a legal case at this point anyway. Send LOL-os.
Apologies to @WoolyMammoth - was grunking last couple of pages and hadn't read your post yet. You said it better than I did. She's screwed legally.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 20
Why is she writing recipes where you fry or microwave tinned potatoes? It ~literally~ states on the tin NOT SUITABLE FOR MICROWAVE COOKING OR FRYING. FFS.

Also, 'You're a libellous liar' makes me want to shout 'And you're a big poo poo head. So there'.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 79
Apologies to @WoolyMammoth - was grunking last couple of pages and hadn't read your post yet. You said it better than I did. She's screwed legally.
Don't apologise to me. I rock up, read 2 pages as it's all I can manage and then reply based on whatever has happened there. Then go away again. 😂
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 37
No idea if it's related but a company based in Gibraltar behind another shell company/trust popped up on companies house, registered on 15th December 2022.

https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/OE008094

Named "Monroe Investments Limited" - could be absolutely nothing but property ownership via trusts in Gibraltar etc would be a good way to hide who owned what.
With nothing requiring filing for a considerable period of time in terms of accounts / etc.
 
  • Wow
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 53
The social history of piano ownership is quite interesting. They were something most middle class households had in the first part of the twentieth century, but they fell out of favour after the war with the growing popularity of radio and especially TV. People struggled to get rid of them though, no one wanted them and piano smashing became a spectator sport for a time. This is from a blog post about the subject

“It was a strange time to start learning the piano. In the 1950s, when I was a boy, it was the fashion in England to hold piano smashing competitions. Because television had arrived. The piano in the front parlor in most houses became suddenly redundant. And there was little or no demand for secondhand pianos. So all around the country, at school fêtes and country fairs, an orgy of piano smashing broke out. On village greens, on football pitches, teams of men with sledge hammers, axes, hacksaws and crowbars attacked upright pianos and reduced them to debris that had to pass through a hoop about two inches in diameter, to verify that the destruction was whole-hearted and thorough.”

If Jack was given a piano by a friend they were probably desperate to get rid and glad she took it off them. It also suggests that Jack was living in quiet a large property at the time as pianos are big (even bigger than sideboards). Presumably if she was expecting SB to learn to play on it she was also paying for regular tuning as well.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 36
her instructions for cooking a chicken makes me want to cry 😭 so careless and miserable. Roasting a chicken is one of the most joyful and comforting things to cook imo.
I recommend simon hopkinson style (prob not exactly accurate but from memory):

pat dry, season with salt and pepper, cover in butter, slice a lemon in half and squeeze all over the chicken then stuff the inside the cavity with a sprig of thyme. 15 mins at 210, baste, then a further 40 mins at 170.then turn the oven off and leave the chicken inside with the door ajar for a further 10 mins.

Then slice the chicken and let it bathe in all the delicious buttery lemony juices in the dish. serve with some sort of potatoes, braised greens and a big dollop of mustard

That looks actually banging 😍😍
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 26
Jack might be trying to distract with talk of F&B paint colours but it appears to be going down like a cup of cold sick (NB: not a Jack recipe)


JackPaint.JPG
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 30
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.