Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

[House of Carbonara]

There isn't anything new or interesting in the Sunday Express Grifty supplement - I've attached it behind the spoiler below for completeness.

They haven't even named her on the front page advertising it!

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Spoiler: Sunday Express Grifty Kitchen

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Nice fantasy photos that bear no resemblance with the actual recipes, yes?
Point of order - calling something with chicken STOCK CUBES in it a chicken whatever dish truly grates my mushrooms.
Also, that roast chicken looks drier than a chicken cooked in the desert.

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

WHAT is it with jack always featuring horrid wrinkly chickens in tabloid papers

How very dare you! Carole Malone is AWAY…

 

[Wooh]

**Eta ahhh my quote didn't work. But it's about frozen onions being double the price of fresh**

Or, you can have the convenience of frozen onions for half the price by buying fresh onion, chopping it up, and freezing it in a bag. For half the price and maybe 3 mins of effort to cut and bag 500g of it.

Also on the subject of being thrifty, anyone know a good way to clean ugg boots? Without buying the ugg cleaner? If someone suggests a nail brush I'll not be delighted. Last time I stuck some in the washing machine in the end and it broke them as I couldn't find any other way to clean them inside and out that worked. But id like to keep these...

Spoiler: Ugg boots

Honestly hope this is of use.

God I love uggs

Your 101 Guide On How To Clean & Care Your Uggs

With increased wear of ugg boots and it comes more likelihood of dirt and stains. We’ve developed your 101 guide on how to clean & care your ugg boots.

theuggshop.com.au

Jack related, the recipes are the worst I've ever seen, thankYOU

 

[Jelly Bean]

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Squig sums up her legal position, or lack of. She has destroyed any chance that she has of legals, and the call-outs are so frequent now that she couldn't sue them all if she even tried. She wouldn't allow her finances to be scrutinised in a legal case at this point anyway. Send LOL-os.

Yes I've lost track of what she could sue over now.
Almost everything people have accused her of has been proved right
She does make money off people poorer than herself. The 'earning more than than PM' claim - well I bet in certain years she wasn't far off or exceeded it.
Her puny fist shaking 'I'll sue you' screeches are making her more of a laughing stock than ever tbh.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

The decorator I used said she won't use F&B... except she didn't tell us that until after we’d actually bought the stuff (Liberty range, Archive). Anyway, I think it was a newer or better formulation, as she ended up really liking it. We've got Dulux Trade (Pale Walnut) in another two rooms, and they don't seem much different to me.

OK done. Wake up.

They have a new slightly more robust formulation now. My friend who is a builder/handyman/etc used it in his living room out of curiosity, he says it needs to be applied in a slightly different way than normal paint (I have no idea what he meant by this...), but does have a depth of colour that can make a difference, esp in older properties with lime(?) plaster. However he said for most people, most of the time going somewhere like brewers and getting whatever colour you want mixed up in Dulux trade is the best option.

 

[Ablemabel]

The decorator I used said she won't use F&B... except she didn't tell us that until after we’d actually bought the stuff (Liberty range, Archive). Anyway, I think it was a newer or better formulation, as she ended up really liking it. We've got Dulux Trade (Pale Walnut) in another two rooms, and they don't seem much different to me.

OK done. Wake up.

We used their Liberty archive range Serge in our living room. We normally colour match it at b&q but didn't on this occasion. Mr Mabel really hated it compared to the Vaspar stuff, although I suspect that was a spite element of hate because it was so bloody expensive.

 

[GazpachoPolice]

her instructions for cooking a chicken makes me want to cry so careless and miserable. Roasting a chicken is one of the most joyful and comforting things to cook imo.
I recommend simon hopkinson style (prob not exactly accurate but from memory):

pat dry, season with salt and pepper, cover in butter, slice a lemon in half and squeeze all over the chicken then stuff the inside the cavity with a sprig of thyme. 15 mins at 210, baste, then a further 40 mins at 170.then turn the oven off and leave the chicken inside with the door ajar for a further 10 mins.

Then slice the chicken and let it bathe in all the delicious buttery lemony juices in the dish. serve with some sort of potatoes, braised greens and a big dollop of mustard

Spoiler: pic

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That’s the Simon Hokinson method, isn’t it? LOVE IT

 

[BananaSmith]

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Look at the intro to them..

Nothing encourages your appetite like memories of funerals for dead Greek relatives.. yummers..

Beware 1/4,1/8,1/16th Greeks bearing gifts, food.

WARNED.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I think by constantly wanging on about F&B paint she’s hoping that F&B will send her free pallet load.

 

[Top Trumpd]

Another ‘dangerous tip‘. Shouldn’t you at least wear some sort of protective glove, if the ingredient you’re finely slicing is ‘sausages cooking’? See you in the ER, y’all.

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Also, ‘customized’? Who checked this stuff?!

 

[FrumpyCat]

Are you privvy to the full week sales tenderstem?

Fingers crossed Carole gets the chop for this tit tbh. 1.9k half week units including presales and yhose BOGOF copies is bleeping abysmal.

The losses on this book must be substantial.

Money outgoing - Jack's advance; overheads including staff time, cost of photoshoots, for the book, promotion costs, printing and distribution,. Visits to Jack. Plus the damage limitation costs of calling in staff over new year.

Money incoming - maybe £20k?

 

[House of Carbonara]

Crab paste mixed with passata? Ewwwwww.

Also, I'm not forensic maths genius like Jack, but doesn't this costing make frozen onions literally double the price of fresh ones? Yet Jack describes that as "ever so slightly more expensive".

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Double the price = ever so slightly more expensive? OK then.

Not only crab paste (which is ) mixed with passata, but crab paste mixed with passata and then cooked for twenty minutes. Bags of flavour, I tell you.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I was just winding self up over her twitter replies and noticed she said that her new place has floor to ceiling windows.

Makes you think.

Thanks for spotting that. Perhaps the new place isn't so crappy after all...

 

[Wooh]

When I worked in the home dept. of Laura Ashley the consensus amongst my more experienced colleagues was that F&B paint was crap - thin, poor coverage, etc...

Prepared to be corrected though as I've never used it myself - I come from a family where 20 litres of brilliant white emulsion was the norm!

This has the makings of a brilliant comedy sketch, akin to Kath & Kim's characters Tru and Pru!

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

When I worked in the home dept. of Laura Ashley the consensus amongst my more experienced colleagues was that F&B paint was crap - thin, poor coverage, etc...

Prepared to be corrected though as I've never used it myself - I come from a family where 20 litres of brilliant white emulsion was the norm!

It is. Our friend that's decorating for us (shock horror! We are FRIENDS with working class tradesmen! Who earn a bleeping fortune) and dealing with more 1970s/80s horror stories & artex has said he won't use F&B, but instead prefers to use Dulux colour match service as better coverage and tougher.

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

I've been to a number of 'Greek' funerals and I can categorically state that absolutely NOBODY in their time of grief has the time to make mountains of roast potatoes for the mourners. OMG I just can't with this fraud.

 

[Ablemabel]

I'm more and more convinced that the patreon is turning over significant sums. Much higher than our guesstimates. Over the last few years in particular she's made so little effort with her 'work'. She'll say that's because of her addiction(s) and she's focussed on that, but all she seems to do is laze about shouting into her echo chamber about paint colours, her hair and suing people, etc. She has accumulated So Much Stuff, admits her house costs upwards 3.3k per month and is seemingly now buying an expensive flat probably without a mortgage see thr if this house was worth 2/3rds of its value I'd snap it up in a heartbeat). And this book, apparently designed to help people, is just bleeping dreadful. Zero effort made.

It's all so gross.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

My husband works in the building trade industry. I just asked him did be fancy going to wickes and hanging out with the staff today. He said why do we need something? I said no, just fancy hanging out there... he looks concerned...
Then said no, why don't we just go get the food shop and let the kids spend some of their christmas money at the toy shop. Its almost like he doesnt know fun.

 

[Sensible Susan]

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Look at the intro to them..

Nothing encourages your appetite like memories of funerals for dead Greek relatives.. yummers..

"Cremation?"
"No, just 90 mins in a hot oven"

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Cerys Matthews on 6 Music talking about tectonic plates this morning