Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

[definitelynotvlad]

Put on your best sad face, and a grey pov jumper, then simply write a blog.

Job done. Completed it, mate. May your grift commence.

I will call it ‘Peckish Pains’, am just off to unscrew my light bulbs and buy an excessively large dog to complete the look x

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The losses on this book must be substantial.

Money outgoing - Jack's advance; overheads including staff time, cost of photoshoots, for the book, promotion costs, printing and distribution,. Visits to Jack. Plus the damage limitation costs of calling in staff over new year.

Money incoming - maybe £20k?

I see hun thank you

What do you reckon the post mortem of such a tit show would be like? This is her second book on thrift/survival during the second period of a universally fucked situation and it’s still not working… how can they possibly think the biography is viable?

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Thanks for spotting that. Perhaps the new place isn't so crappy after all...

View attachment 1884423

That's opened up a couple more option on GFFs on Rightmove 🔺️

Views of golf course would be my best bet.

 

[Bwidge]

That's opened up a couple more option on GFFs on Rightmove 🔺️

Views of golf course would be my best bet.

Are any of these one beds?

 

[Ablemabel]

That's opened up a couple more option on GFFs on Rightmove 🔺️

Views of golf course would be my best bet.

I'd bet my Tiffany earrings on it

ETA actually I think it might be the one with a garden.

 

[Foxvint]

There isn't anything new or interesting in the Sunday Express Grifty supplement - I've attached it behind the spoiler below for completeness.

They haven't even named her on the front page advertising it!

View attachment 1883987

Spoiler: Sunday Express Grifty Kitchen

View attachment 1883975
View attachment 1883976
View attachment 1883978View attachment 1883979View attachment 1883980View attachment 1883981View attachment 1883982View attachment 1883983

Trying to sneak it onto an unsuspecting public like when anyone with ITunes woke up to the new U2 album foisted upon them with a download. I absolutely love how much this year is gonna suck arse for her.

 

[PoorPatrol]

She asked her Italian friend to help with the name of this soup, and they came up with “the soup of a fool”?

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Yes I've lost track of what she could sue over now.
Almost everything people have accused her of has been proved right
She does make money off people poorer than herself. The 'earning more than than PM' claim - well I bet in certain years she wasn't far off or exceeded it.
Her puny fist shaking 'I'll sue you' screeches are making her more of a laughing stock than ever tbh.

She could sue about
Ha ha

 

[Ablemabel]

Are any of these one beds?

She needs an office dear heart. Yes it could technically be called by others a second bedroom but she has to have somewhere to sit with pens in her pockets. Do you want her to stop breathing?

 

[PoorPatrol]

Tom Kerridge is making puttanesca thief!!!

 

[moldwarp]

Morning Ninnies!! King Chrismate’s Revenge is giving me life!!! Like @heretoreaditall2019 says, if you come for him you better not miss!!

Like I’ve said here a tedious number of times, Karma is a great Goddess, she moves in silence, she takes her time, and then one day … BLAM!!!

 

[Triangulation Station]

TBF it has been over 20 years since I worked for Laura Ashley so F&B have had plenty of time to improve their paint formulation!
My main room is painted in a Dulux paint the name of which escapes me, my OH refers to it as 'Presently Walnuts' as he likes to imagine that that's what Bob Mortimer would call it should he be in the business of naming neutral-coloured paint.

The decorator I used said she won't use F&B... except she didn't tell us that until after we’d actually bought the stuff (Liberty range, Archive). Anyway, I think it was a newer or better formulation, as she ended up really liking it. We've got Dulux Trade (Pale Walnut) in another two rooms, and they don't seem much different to me.

OK done. Wake up.

 

[House of Carbonara]

The only time I have ever been really ill from food was defrosted prawns. I'm still loath to buy and eat them to this day which is a shame as I love them!


Sausages- another typesetting error, it should be
sausages
cooking oil

Eta it's funny because she specifies cooking oil (vs baby oil or motor lube), and yet the 5* reviews talk about her not being patronising, and giving clear explanations.

And another thing about the reviews - among the (paid for/requested or whatever) 'It's the best recipe book EVER!!!' there was a 5* one praising the physical book. Seriously. The person really liked the colour, flat spine, glossy pages and vivid pictures. The mind truly boggles.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Feel weird screenshotting but someone's just tweeted pictures of their baby in a high chair eating Jack's black bean and peanut slop. Good luck to them with that nappy.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I'm more and more convinced that the patreon is turning over significant sums. Much higher than our guesstimates. Over the last few years in particular she's made so little effort with her 'work'. She'll say that's because of her addiction(s) and she's focussed on that, but all she seems to do is laze about shouting into her echo chamber about paint colours, her hair and suing people, etc. She has accumulated So Much Stuff, admits her house costs upwards 3.3k per month and is seemingly now buying an expensive flat probably without a mortgage see thr if this house was worth 2/3rds of its value I'd snap it up in a heartbeat). And this book, apparently designed to help people, is just bleeping dreadful. Zero effort made.

It's all so gross.

Yes. And we keep talk about it bringing in "£2000 per month" when it could only be that little if everyone was on the £3.50 tier - and we know that's not true.

Perhaps we should base our calculations on the highest tier, not the lowest. If the true figure is less than that, she'll be able to easily prove it by following Patreon's recommendations and making the figures publicly available.

Something like: "Jack Monroe has taken up to £350,000 from Patreon supporters in the last year alone. She has not sent any of the promised rewards to her backers for 20 months, and has admitted to having blown their money on sideboards and drugs."

(I still think her tipjar is a bigger scandal, but Patreon is less of a black hole)

 

[HodgeSplodge]

Thanks for spotting that. Perhaps the new place isn't so crappy after all...

View attachment 1884423

One of the flats that clever people on here triangulated has a conservatory, which in Jack's mind probably counts as floor to ceiling windows. Although she missed a trick by not referring to it as her orangery...

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Only 12 likes on her “libellous liar” tweet, and 28 likes on a reply that asks her straight out if she takes cocaine.

Floor to ceiling windows, eh.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Sorry to jump in but uno is correct for words beginning with s + consonant (Italian graduate here )

I hang my head in shame. Who's the fool now? Me.

Still won't make the soup though.

 

[Ablemabel]

Yes. And we keep talk about it bringing in "£2000 per month" when it could only be that little if everyone was on the £3.50 tier - and we know that's not true.

Perhaps we should base our calculations on the highest tier, not the lowest. If the true figure is less than that, she'll be able to easily prove it by following Patreon's recommendations and making the figures publicly available.

Something like: "Jack Monroe has taken up to £350,000 from Patreon supporters in the last year alone. She has not sent any of the promised rewards to her backers for 20 months, and has admitted to having blown their money on sideboards and drugs."

(I still think her tipjar is a bigger scandal, but Patreon is less of a black hole)

I agree re the tip jar. That really prays on both the middle class dogooders who just see something and on a whim bung £200 their way and the more vulnerable who couldn't afford to sign up to a monthly commitment and send over their Winterfuel allowance because they genuinely believe they are being helped by Jack.

 

[Cookiecookie]

I was just winding self up over her twitter replies and noticed she said that her new place has floor to ceiling windows.

Makes you think.

That'll be a bugger in winter!

Also, floor to ceiling windows are really annoying. Our place has them, and just eww.