Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

[Orphan_Black]

I think the sister wife hair stennies photoshoot did it - she said she’d grow her hair for the wedding….

She'll end up as one of those sad sacks who have a wedding for themselves. I hope Jack and her raging ego have a wonderful life together, however, I also hope she'd get someone else in to cater it.

Not even Jack deserves Jack's food on her special day.

 

[Randomname]

Guys has the latest BAR pod disappeared or am I looking in the wrong place?

 

[HotesTilaire]

She'll end up as one of those sad sacks who have a wedding for themselves. I hope Jack and her raging ego have a wonderful life together, however, I also hope she'd get someone else in to cater it.

Not even Jack deserves Jack's food on her special day.

She could do a second series of that (fellow Essex) Jodie Marsh show - “who will take her up the aisle?” Thirsty divorced neckbeard dads battle it out to marry Jack

 

[Orphan_Black]

She could do a second series of that (fellow Essex) Jodie Marsh show - “who will take her up the aisle?” Thirsty divorced neckbeard dads battle it out to marry Jack

Final showdown could be the trifle round.

Whichever beau can swallow a mouthful of dirty lampshade trifle wins her fair grubby hand.

 

[Mme Coco]

I am going to assume for hilarity’s sake at this point that the pics of Cooper are current and that she is indeed moving to a teeny tiny ground floor flat with shared communal gardens. So not just Jack as a new neighbour, a cat the size of a Maine Coone and a dog the size of a small fell pony. That’s a LOT of tit to pick up and we know from the grift how communally minded Jack really is. Someone will take massive exception to this, plus the honking miasma emanating from the ground floor flat and find their way here with a large thermos of stewed, slow cooker tea. Frauen, I CAN’T WAIT!

ETA:

 

[Soup or Noodle]

Jack's recipe for prawn cocktail is frozen prawns mixed with ready-made, shop-bought seafood sauce

I'm posting from the past so others may have got there before me, but at least this one will be not only edible but delicious.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I'm really confused. She said she was going to post some blogs at the weekend and she didn't. I'm worried. It's just so unlike her.

 

[GeorgiaOrwell]

I can’t get over the fact she changes curtain’s more than she changes her bedding

 

[Lazarus]

I think the sister wife hair stennies photoshoot did it - she said she’d grow her hair for the wedding….

Could be closest to the truth. Between the ‘joke’ that they were practically married because he had souse cups, and then she was following bridal veil pages on Instagram…

 

[LadyGarden]

Guys has the latest BAR pod disappeared or am I looking in the wrong place?

Should be this one I think.

Premium: The Reading Wars

updates from the frontlines of World War Coo

www.blockedandreported.org

Book is still doing well then.

I wonder if her publishers will cut their losses re the advance they've given Jack for her memoirs. I'd imagine that Grifty Kitchen is either going to lose them money or, at best, takes years to turn a profit.

If they decide not to go ahead with the memoir do we think she will have the utter gall to do another Kickstarter and self-publish?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Ol’ Hazza THE END timeline

Spoiler: With SS so LONG. WARNED

1st: MUST STAY TIL SPRING: ENGAGEMENT RING

8th Where Essex PoPo? @ da tit Bunga-low

13th Dordrecht: he ain’t yet LEFT

19th: HE LEFT out of blue, BOO. book acknowledgments re-do

28th: Heart in the shitter? Chase cock, post on Twitter.

Not a mystery why HE LEFT either…(also 28th)

STILL 28th: duck that Old Harry, found teacher to marry.

(Thanks to @Marmalade Atkins and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

DOUBLE POST CHAOS: Also, this DIRE tattoo will never, ever not make me laugh like a bleeping drain. That boogly eyed comedy skull looking down at the skellington hands about to pull the tattoo-lady’s bum cheeks apart is my LITERAL anti-aneurysm. Imagine having this on your arm forever

Spoiler: Spoilered cos it’s “a bit much”

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Gym rat
Hiking
Influencer
University of Essex
Festivals

 

[GoLando]

Ol’ Hazza THE END timeline

Spoiler: With SS so LONG. WARNED

1st: MUST STAY TIL SPRING: ENGAGEMENT RING
View attachment 1886407


8th Where Essex PoPo? @ da tit Bunga-low
View attachment 1886362

13th Dordrecht: he ain’t yet LEFT
View attachment 1886364

19th: HE LEFT out of blue, BOO. book acknowledgments re-do
View attachment 1886368

28th: Heart in the shitter? Chase cock, post on Twitter.
View attachment 1886391View attachment 1886394
Not a mystery why HE LEFT either…(also 28th)
View attachment 1886400

STILL 28th: duck that Old Harry, found teacher to marry.
View attachment 1886379
(Thanks to @Marmalade Atkins and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

DOUBLE POST CHAOS: Also, this DIRE tattoo will never, ever not make me laugh like a bleeping drain. That boogly eyed comedy skull looking down at the skellington hands about to pull the tattoo-lady’s arse cheeks apart is my LITERAL anti-aneurysm. Imagine having this on your arm forever
View attachment 1886413

“I’m not having my best book yet pulped”

Needless to say, Old Harold had the last laugh.

 

[zetta buttons]

Ol’ Hazza THE END timeline

Spoiler: With SS so LONG. WARNED

1st: MUST STAY TIL SPRING: ENGAGEMENT RING
View attachment 1886407


8th Where Essex PoPo? @ da tit Bunga-low
View attachment 1886362

13th Dordrecht: he ain’t yet LEFT
View attachment 1886364

19th: HE LEFT out of blue, BOO. book acknowledgments re-do
View attachment 1886368

28th: Heart in the shitter? Chase cock, post on Twitter.
View attachment 1886391View attachment 1886394
Not a mystery why HE LEFT either…(also 28th)
View attachment 1886400

STILL 28th: duck that Old Harry, found teacher to marry.
View attachment 1886379
(Thanks to @Marmalade Atkins and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

DOUBLE POST CHAOS: Also, this DIRE tattoo will never, ever not make me laugh like a bleeping drain. That boogly eyed comedy skull looking down at the skellington hands about to pull the tattoo-lady’s arse cheeks apart is my LITERAL anti-aneurysm. Imagine having this on your arm forever
View attachment 1886413

And then she shamed us for having lonely lives with no one to love around.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

And then she shamed us for having lonely lives with no one to love around.

Again! Lol I forgot about that part. She’s such a petty, spiteful little tit. It’s no wonder they all LEAVE.

 

[Lazarus]

Fraus,

Jack blocked me on Instagram months ago for liking a comment someone left on her page.
I just looked up her name as a hashtag and came across these beauties which I think have captured her coke bloat essence perfectly.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

She's cancelled her subscription?

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Old Harold was right. She needs to see a doctor

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Gym rat
Hiking
Influencer
University of Essex
Festivals

And…Country Music

ETA: I would never, ever like this to be Jack in relation to me.

Though I would definitely pretend to talk on my phone and call her a bleep if she was in earshot. In fact, I’d probably phone several people and tell them “that grifting coke addled bleep Jack Monroe is here, but don’t worry, she can’t hear me calling her a thick talentless thieving twit”

 

[Lazarus]

And also, could a frau who has the pics from the book look this one up, please?
Once again, browsing the #JackMonroe on Instagram. This is from the page of Patricia Niven, the photographer.
does the Green and Blacks cocoa (top right)make it into the final pic in the book?? And how does that compare to the thrifty recipe?