Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

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Caroline of the Hands was working for Jack much longer than I thought.

March 2018 until September 2021 apparently - that's a lot of potentialslop to have ingested, she earned that furlough pay imo.
She seems to have been able to successfully run her own business from home during lockdown but couldn't do Jacksie's admin. 🤔
 
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Could be closest to the truth. Between the ‘joke’ that they were practically married because he had souse cups, and then she was following bridal veil pages on Instagram…
Similar cups. Ffs.
 
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Similar cups. Ffs.
That was all the way back in April (April 20th). It’s unfathomable to me that he stuck around for two full months AFTER this.

Even if he didn’t have social media, his mates and family did, plus that dipshit must have been breadcrumbing marriage, engagement rings, big detatched forever homes and the pitter patter of tiny slop-pixie feet at him morning noon and night
278F4063-C212-45B8-8EF7-3A7302B508FE.jpeg

(Edit: forgot to credit @Flumps for capturing the screenie!)
 
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Arranging one's books by color was a well-established trend in 2012.


Our smol pixie, so cutting-edge.
The first time I saw it was on telly in Peaches Geldof's place (the sister of an actual Pixie) and that must have been ages ago, for obvious reasons.
 
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That was all the way back in April (April 20th). It’s unfathomable to me that he stuck around for two full months AFTER this.

Even if he didn’t have social media, his mates and family did, plus that dipshit must have been breadcrumbing marriage, engagement rings, big detatched forever homes and the pitter patter of tiny slop-pixie feet at him morning noon and night
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(Edit: forgot to credit @Flumps for capturing the screenie!)
As if this wasn’t bizarre enough already… but they don’t “exactly match” anyway - the handles are different FFS.
 
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Didn't Jack's mum post a panicked 'they didn't say who it was?' message. I think the police check came not long after Jack pretended big Dave had shot off his cannon in public.
You’re right BTW. Police check was on 8th June, big gun shooting was on jubilee weekend- 5th. (SS from @Marmalade Atkins)
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So it was either Old Harold calling in a IRL welfare check, OR it was Jack lying about the “malicious” welfare check and needing “security” to scare the shit out of her Mam and get out of trouble with her Dad for telling a stupid lie about him and heavy artillery on a suburban street.
 
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Ol’ Hazza THE END timeline
1st: MUST STAY TIL SPRING: ENGAGEMENT RING
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8th Where Essex PoPo? @ da Shit Bunga-low
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13th Dordrecht: he ain’t yet LEFT
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19th: HE LEFT out of blue, BOO. book acknowledgments re-do
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28th: Heart in the shitter? Chase cock, post on Twitter.
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Not a mystery why HE LEFT either…(also 28th)
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STILL 28th: Fuck that Old Harry, found teacher to marry.
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(Thanks to @Marmalade Atkins and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

DOUBLE POST CHAOS: Also, this DIRE tattoo will never, ever not make me laugh like a bleeping drain. That boogly eyed comedy skull looking down at the skellington hands about to pull the tattoo-lady’s bum cheeks apart is my LITERAL anti-aneurysm. Imagine having this on your arm forever 😂
Scale and scope? More like scales and coke, amirite?
 
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You’re right BTW. Police check was on 8th June, big gun shooting was on jubilee weekend- 5th. (SS from @Marmalade Atkins)
View attachment 1886464So it was either Old Harold calling in a IRL welfare check, OR it was Jack lying about the “malicious” welfare check and needing “security” to scare the shit out of her Mam and get out of trouble with her Dad for telling a stupid lie about him and heavy artillery on a suburban street.


It’s also bizarre for a recovering alcoholic and a teetotaler to buy matching Moscow Mule mugs. I guess they were going to drink Jack’s repulsive old tea and fizzy pop “cocktails” out of them…?
Ah I love this pic. It's such an absolutely pointless lie.
 
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That gun lie is up there with the worst/best isn’t it 😅 I know we’ve had the sloppies already but credit where it’s due, Jack - I’m lol’ing
 
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As if this wasn’t bizarre enough already… but they don’t “exactly match” anyway - the handles are different FFS.
It’s also bizarre for a recovering alcoholic and a teetotaler to buy matching non-matching Moscow Mule cocktail mugs. I guess they were going to drink Jack’s repulsive old tea and fizzy pop fentimans bottle “Tea Shandy” cocktails out of them…?
EDIT Owly RR slopalonged them!
 
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And also, could a frau who has the pics from the book look this one up, please?
Once again, browsing the #JackMonroe on Instagram. This is from the page of Patricia Niven, the photographer.
does the Green and Blacks cocoa (top right)make it into the final pic in the book?? And how does that compare to the thrifty recipe?
View attachment 1886431
It's in the free ebook. Recipe just says cocoa powder and the container is photoshopped:
 

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The gun lie gives me so much more cringe than any of the other untruths that spill from her gob.

Just imagining the dressing down she got from Big Dave MBE is enough to make my insides curdle.
 
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What does this mean? 😳 Could someone explain to me like I'm a simple person? (I am a simple person)
Twitter Blue is a paid subscription which gives you a blue tick. Anyone can sub. It also gives a you few extra benefits.

Legacy blue tick is a legit blue tick given by Twitter to notable people. No sub involved.

Jack is a legacy blue tick but for a while showed only as a Twitter Blue subscriber, which suggests she bought a sub to get the extra benefits. Because she was showing only as a Twitter Blue subscriber (a bit shit) she might have dumped the Twitter Blue sub to get the legacy blue tick showing again.

(Click on Jack's blue tick for the pop-up)

I am shit at explaining things. Soz 😭
 
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