Egg rings in America WO-AH for thread title nomination.
Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole
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Must have been head first, it’s the only explanation
Looking out of the crappy bungalow
Down below the cars of Southend are just rushing by
I lie on my sofa and wonder why
Friday night and everyone's moving
I'm on Twitter fizzing and hooting, getting down
But I want some eggs and will cook them now
Aldi please can you help me?
Aldi my eggs are unruly
Egg rings in America wo-ah
Egg rings in America wo-ah
Everybody wants their eggs in a round
Down below the cars of Southend are just rushing by
I lie on my sofa and wonder why
Friday night and everyone's moving
I'm on Twitter fizzing and hooting, getting down
But I want some eggs and will cook them now
Aldi please can you help me?
Aldi my eggs are unruly
Egg rings in America wo-ah
Egg rings in America wo-ah
Everybody wants their eggs in a round
I don't think Jack realises that people are 'interested' in her because in general we find grifters and compulsive liars to be fascinating. Literally the most interesting thing about her is her pathological need to be RIGHT at all times, no matter what lies she needs to tell to appear so.
That she's a huge narc conning people out of money adds another layer. We all love an unmasking the grifter story.
Without that.......Jack herself? Boring. Bland. If she was a biscuit she'd be a rich tea.
That she's a huge narc conning people out of money adds another layer. We all love an unmasking the grifter story.
Without that.......Jack herself? Boring. Bland. If she was a biscuit she'd be a rich tea.
What have I started.
Peanut news!
The nuts are dry! The texture is ruined forever.
The nuts are dry! The texture is ruined forever.
Did Jack write her own thread title there? Or is it the title of her memoir?I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean to. It’s just that she writes so poorly she put the stuff she is and the stuff that happens to her in the same list of stuff.
Also, when has she ever “been taken advantage of”?!
PS this is still my favourite part
View attachment 1837545
Jacks tweet about Lee Anderson is the clearest sign that Jack is not going to file a claims of libel as any public interaction would be frowned upon and legal counsel would tell you not to engage with them in any way at all let alone start a new tweet about them
i can’t wait until May when the clock has finished that Jack can’t lodge a claim due to the time limits that’s when things will explode because there will be no denying that money was fraudulently raised
i can’t wait until May when the clock has finished that Jack can’t lodge a claim due to the time limits that’s when things will explode because there will be no denying that money was fraudulently raised
I have made some art for the canal to enjoy.
Wet nuts and grift nipsWet Nuts For thread title nomination
I'm struggling to believe that nobody on the Bird site has tagged @RoSPA with details of the knife/hammer trick plus freezing glass bottles of liquid and razor sharp tuna cans. I have never been so close to resigning from the Canal and going full metal (can) jacket over on Twitter. Luckily I vaue this place more than the hellsite so Jack can (pun) rest easy for the moment.
The following is spoilered as it is long, triggering and sweary. WARNED.
The following is spoilered as it is long, triggering and sweary. WARNED.
My dad (genuinely RIP unlike Viv) had a serious mental health breakdown many years ago. He went from a warm, funny and proud man to someone who stayed in bed for 4 weeks and had to be prompted to get up to go to the toilet. He didn't wash, shave. clean his teeth or get dressed in that 4 week period. My mum had to sit at his bedside literally spoon feeding him or he wouldn't have eaten or drunk anything of his own volition. This is a man who wouldn't previously be seen downstairs in a dressing gown - he was washed, shaved, hair combed and wearing a smart shirt and trousers every time he came downstairs.
After 4 weeks he was sectioned and spent 9 months as an inpatient. This was back in the day when electro convulsive shock therapy was routinely used for extreme cases of depression. Luckily for him (and us) it worked and, unlike McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, he finally came home close to being the man he was before. Utterly traumatic and terrifying period for all of us; I was 12 at the time and the memory of his broken self still reduces me to tears.
He didn't cosplay as Tommy bleeping Shelby or whoever was 'in fashion' at the time. He didn't go to fancy dress parties with his mates. He wasn't having a great laugh online about the flavours of Vienetta. He wasn't lapping up attention and guffawing at inappropriate comments about his physical attributes. He wasn't getting dressed up to go to awards dinners and posting selfies. He wasn't hanging spendy neon signs on the wall and concocting bullshit about destructive mice.
duck YOU, JACK. You make me bleeping sick with the way you weaponise mental health problems. You've, very clearly, never experienced what my kind, decent father did, nor have your family had to see you be like an empty shell for months on end.
bleep.
aaaand ... breathe
After 4 weeks he was sectioned and spent 9 months as an inpatient. This was back in the day when electro convulsive shock therapy was routinely used for extreme cases of depression. Luckily for him (and us) it worked and, unlike McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, he finally came home close to being the man he was before. Utterly traumatic and terrifying period for all of us; I was 12 at the time and the memory of his broken self still reduces me to tears.
He didn't cosplay as Tommy bleeping Shelby or whoever was 'in fashion' at the time. He didn't go to fancy dress parties with his mates. He wasn't having a great laugh online about the flavours of Vienetta. He wasn't lapping up attention and guffawing at inappropriate comments about his physical attributes. He wasn't getting dressed up to go to awards dinners and posting selfies. He wasn't hanging spendy neon signs on the wall and concocting bullshit about destructive mice.
duck YOU, JACK. You make me bleeping sick with the way you weaponise mental health problems. You've, very clearly, never experienced what my kind, decent father did, nor have your family had to see you be like an empty shell for months on end.
bleep.
aaaand ... breathe
Can I be controversial and say I don’t think there will be a guardian spread.
OH! VIVIENNE!
OMG VIV IS ACTUALLY RIP
RIP Viv. No, seriously, RIP Viv. 
Oh no Viv RIP 
I say this a lot on these threads, but I cannot believe the audacity of her bringing up Lee Anderson knowing full well everyone wants to know where the money went that she hustled to sue him. I just - I don’t get it? Has she forgotten? Does she really not feel any shame for not being able to answer questions about OTHER PEOPLES MONEY. This might be my aneurysm.
Oh god, Viv (genuine RIP) selfie incoming
RIP Viv!!
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