Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

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LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ARE THE BEST! TOOT TOOT! šŸŽšŸŽ„Shite the spoiler didnā€™t work and the pages are all over the place šŸ«£ am not technical Frau apologies! Pages are numbered though!
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duck me, ā€œcrusading workā€ and ā€œburns with holy rageā€?! Thatā€™s some problematic language right there.

Even without the HIGHLY problematic language, the shitting dog lying poverty faker is hardly Richard I, FFS
 
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Seeing as we've got some new viewers and there is talk of trolling, time to repost the current list of TROLLCLAIMS - remember, these are things we believe to be true and would like Jack to rebut, rather than nonsense like "they say I'm a millionaire and my face is currently full of botox!"
  1. She did not send anything to her Patrons or provide any updates throughout the entire year of 2021 and at least until November 2022
  2. She has not instructed a solicitor to sue Lee Anderson
  3. Similarly, she has not ringfenced the money that was Paypalled to her for the Lee Anderson action, and does not intend to return it or donate it to charity if no action goes ahead
  4. She uses facetune or similar editing software on her selfies
  5. Her son visits her for a maximum of three nights per week ā€“ and the rest of the time she sleeps upstairs in ā€˜hisā€™ bedroom
  6. She has had at least six professional haircuts in 2022
  7. She did not set aside her ā€˜drinking moneyā€™ every week for an ā€˜amazing summer of memories with SBā€™ ā€“ or if she did, she did not spend it on him
  8. She messed up on the Teemill profit calculations and ended up donating Ā£10,000 of her own money to the Trussell Trust
  9. She or a member of her family is buying the next property she is moving into
  10. She has had lip fillers
  11. She has one or more additional Twitter accounts other than @bootstrapcook which she has used within the past six months
  12. She did not have "a team of people she had to buy laptops and phones for" during the pandemic. She did not have more than one person working for her during the pandemic and did not buy more than one laptop or phone for them. @Cucumberthunder
  13. At the same time as claiming to be "buying computers and laptops for her team" to work from home she also claimed furlough https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-181-time-flies-when-youre-judging-slop.18447/post-4683399
  14. She did not have a team of IT experts working tirelessly to fix her website, that she rattled her jar to pay @Captainmouse
  15. She did not file her company accounts on time and therefore did not pay the correct tax when it was due - upon winding the company up she has now settled with HMRC although this is more than she would have had to pay had she done it properly @Lucky Escape
  16. She does not have a formal clinical diagnosis of autism
  17. She has used shampoo during the past two years but did not have to buy it due to having a stockpile of previous purchases, gifts, freebies, hotel minis etc
  18. @Jelly Bean - The VBI does not, has never, and will never exist (and the only person trying to push "Vimes Boots" as a serious economic theory is her)
  19. She can afford utilities and does not rely on solar lights to light her house
  20. She has previously had Botox, even if it didn't cost Ā£500
  21. She has, in fact, used makeup to make her cheeks look hollow, eyes darker, and lines deeper in photos to elicit sympathy
  22. A number of her breakups have been caused by her mental instability and substance abuse, and she has repeatedly ignored advice from her partners to get proper help
  23. She owns a large number of designer goods that were not gifts and were not bought as "insurance" against future poverty
  24. She has severely neglected her animals, leading to some of them dying
  25. She lost the Superdrug brand deal. Possibly because of trying to give the impression that she could not afford toiletries (when they were paying her to promote their own budget range), openly encouraging shoplifting, and/or the general drama and bad publicity associated with her
  26. Her previous and/or current agents have pushed her to stay quiet on social media so she doesn't tank the release of Grifty Kitchen.
  27. She spends more than Ā£20 a week on food for her household, and cannot produce 42 nutritionally or calorifically sufficient meals for a maximum budget of Ā£20/week including storecupboard/freezer restocking, as claimed with the peformative ASDA shop
She does not have adhd. When she posts about it she's either using it as an excuse or she sounds like these things are new to her, not like they're something that have been normal to her for her whole life. When she's not using it she's contradicting it constantly, such as when it suirs her to have a meticulous and forensic nature.
 
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Having looked at some of the Grifty Kitchen ā€˜proseā€™, all j can say is ā€˜direā€™. Jack itā€™s a massive pile of steaming sticky brown poo.
 
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Erm. No Jack, thatā€™s not even remotely a good idea, unless you fancy bleeding out on your kitchen floor before the ambulance arrives. What is this dangerous babble.


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Wow! Wait until she hears about all the horrible and embarrassing things that Bootstrap Cook woman has being saying about him on Twitter.
 
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duck me what a load of old tit. Laid out like an A Level English assignment, about 60% too many words, and no substance.

In fact you could say the nearest Jack Monroe gets to meal preparation is serving up massive word salads.... šŸ¤”šŸ¤£šŸ’©šŸ¤”
 
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Make sure you do this with a really sharp knife. What could possibly go wrong?

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Isnā€™t this irresponsible of a food bank to a) give out a collection of nutritionally unmeasured and deficient recipes b) promote idea Ā£20 can feed a family c) give out unreliable recipes that lead to food being inedible. All bumping a book artificially up best seller lists. Dodgy.
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Erm. No Jack, thatā€™s not even remotely a good idea, unless you fancy bleeding out on your kitchen floor before the ambulance arrives. What is this dangerous babble.


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Especially as itā€™s ā€œnot particularly hygienic and an awful lot of work for a reward of some cold beans for teaā€. šŸ˜”

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Also, if you can get one tin opener for Ā£1, thatā€™s just 5.56% of the RRP of this money saving bookā€¦ OR you can buy 17 tin openers with 99p left over instead of buying this tripe, the only purpose of which is to line Jackā€™s pocket and for the Guardian to spunk all over her again.

Linky link to screenie
 
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Fantastic Jenny Numbers ā¤ā¤

And as I'm not a thief, scammer or otherwise titled wrongun like Jack Monroe, here's proof of purchase:

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Transparency. It's a wonderfully freeing thing Jack. You should try it.
Did you feel a bit soiled after. Like your Amazon account was now a bit of a wrong un. šŸ˜¢ Thank you for all that you do.
 
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