Jack Monroe #181 Time flies when you’re judging slop

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The vegan version looks less 'chewy' than the meat version, and is smol chunks so you could probably swallow whole with a big vase carafe of pink grapefruit squash which you've stolen from Lord Jesus Compton :sick:
 
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That pork belly thing that Del Monte posted actually turns my stomach. There appear to be large chunks of completely raw unrendered fat in there (🤢) but it’s burnt to a crisp on top. Inedible and incredibly unappealing, with or without the “prune chutney” (which even Del Monte have seen fit to conceal in their post).

On a separate point (apologies if someone’s already picked this up and I missed it), someone was asking a while back whether Jack was on the furlough list that HMRC published for Dec 2020 and Jan 2021. Yes she is (or rather her company, On A Bootstrap Ltd, is). In the “up to £10,000” band for each month.

The Govt guidance says you can claim furlough “if you cannot maintain your workforce because your operations have been affected by coronavirus”. 🤔

But I’m sure it’s all above board.
 

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That pork belly thing that Del Monte posted actually turns my stomach. There appear to be large chunks of completely raw unrendered fat in there (🤢) but it’s burnt to a crisp on top. Inedible and incredibly unappealing, with or without the “prune chutney” (which even Del Monte have seen fit to conceal in their post).

On a separate point (apologies if someone’s already picked this up and I missed it), someone was asking a while back whether Jack was on the furlough list that HMRC published for Dec 2020 and Jan 2021. Yes she is (or rather her company, On A Bootstrap Ltd, is). In the “up to £10,000” band for each month.

The Govt guidance says you can claim furlough “if you cannot maintain your workforce because your operations have been affected by coronavirus”. 🤔

But I’m sure it’s all above board.
I remember around the beginning of lockdown she said her assistant was on furlough hence she was making millions of trips to the post office alone
 
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Just in case any of our vegan Frauen and Herren are feeling left out...



Jack claims it's just as good as the real thing. Having now seen her pork belly, I believe her.
oh god that made me feel really uneasy. The heavy breathing and the squelching, and the thing masquerading as food. Nope. Nope nope.
 
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I remember around the beginning of lockdown she said her assistant was on furlough hence she was making millions of trips to the post office alone
Well quite. That would suggest there was in fact work for her assistant to do. And there would have been plenty more of it, because as we know Jack scored a number of paid gigs during the pandemic. If anything, she gained rather than lost work due to the pandemic.
It’s not like, say, hairdressers or bar staff who literally could not work due to the pandemic.
Jack also said at one point she was paying furlough out of her own pocket, so .. who knows.
 
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Well, vegan pork belly is the most unappetising thing I have EVER seen and that’s saying something. All sort of gloopy and sticky like a rotten fig.
I feel sick.
 
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Gun to your head situation. Would you eat Jack's pork belly or Jack's vegan pork belly?

I'm torn. I want to say real pork belly, because I could mask it with a lot of chutney, but on the other hand it looks more likely to give me food poisoning.
I'm a meat eater but I'd take the bullet tbh
 
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Five comments and 11 likes in five hours. LJC I’d love to see Del Monte’s return on investment for this collaboration

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Edited to add - I also love in the recipe actual ingredients say 'Two fat cloves of garlic'. Have we ever heard Jack not call garlic fat? And 'Plenty of Black Pepper'. What is plenty Jack? How do you explain plenty to me or my family? We all think it's a different amount.

And finally, the best one. 1 tbsp light coloured vinegar - cider, red, white or rice are all fine. Because vinegar is vinegar isn't it Jack? Why not whack some Sarson's in there?!
 
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Imagine when we are in prison and the Frauen would be on rotating kitchen service duty... the food we would get!! 🥰
OMG when it’s my shift you will suspect me of being JM!
Just kidding I can heat up beans without rinsing them, toast and cheese feather fascinators for everyone that day!
 
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Well quite. That would suggest there was in fact work for her assistant to do. And there would have been plenty more of it, because as we know Jack scored a number of paid gigs during the pandemic. If anything, she gained rather than lost work due to the pandemic.
It’s not like, say, hairdressers or bar staff who literally could not work due to the pandemic.
Jack also said at one point she was paying furlough out of her own pocket, so .. who knows.
by which she means the pockets of her patreons presumably
 
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Five comments and 11 likes in five hours. LJC I’d love to see Del Monte’s return on investment for this collaboration

View attachment 538110

Edited to add - I also love in the recipe actual ingredients say 'Two fat cloves of garlic'. Have we ever heard Jack not call garlic fat? And 'Plenty of Black Pepper'. What is plenty Jack? How do you explain plenty to me or my family? We all think it's a different amount.

And finally, the best one. 1 tbsp light coloured vinegar - cider, red, white or rice are all fine. Because vinegar is vinegar isn't it Jack? Why not whack some Sarson's in there?!
I think that top squiggle has to be a Del Monte employee. He always responds with a row of heart/smiley emojis, however gruesome the recipe.
 
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I really wonder how much she is being paid for this, whoever decided on using her must be fearing for their job :LOL:
 
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Gun to your head situation. Would you eat Jack's pork belly or Jack's vegan pork belly?

I'm torn. I want to say real pork belly, because I could mask it with a lot of chutney, but on the other hand it looks more likely to give me food poisoning.
Ok my second favourite song by Rage Against The Machine is....
 
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Well it’s live week for those who want to watch along.

I love Matt cradling his own forearms lovingly. No double denim (I imagine wardrobe said no) and her hair looks nice. The hilarious jokey thing is inappropriate ‘now you’ve stopped talking’. Matt is being nice but frankly, she’s been on TV for nearly a decade and if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work (and this is with clips of Nadia in the middle who has been doing it a much shorter time).

The lasagne makes an appearance, it’s as bad as you remember. The blitzed mushrooms give me the heaves, and I like mushrooms. The sauce, oh the sauce. It must taste like raw bleeping flour. She also puts a pathetic amount on the lasagne.
why the duck would you put stuffing on top of a lasagne as well, that sounds terrible.

the ‘one and done’ comment happens as well. It’s shows Jack....

watching this while I have a quiet moment before the kids get home and now I reeeeeally want to make Nadiya’s meatloaf Wellington!
 
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And if you think about it, it’s kind of a MAHOOSIVE coincidence that the smol pixie should befall a GDPR breach (possibly disability related) only one week after a squig reported their data was breached 🤔
 
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Just in case any of our vegan Frauen and Herren are feeling left out...



Jack claims it's just as good as the real thing. Having now seen her pork belly, I believe her.
This.is.the.worst.she.has.done.

ETA: I was just off to take a shower 🔺and slop we go- came back to THAT !
 
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