Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

[Nurseali]

Oh God her latest tweets. I just can't.
She is now gonna claim the amazing idea of getting rid of bots . And managed to sneak in àn example her amazing work like the narc she is. Oh and arse lick twitter.
God I dislike her.

 

[That Forensic Man]

50p from Asda.

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Hey, @BootstrapCrook! I know everything’s kind of a bin fire your end at the moment but would you consider a small but huge tweak to the veritable bullshit index? When someone lists cooking utensil 'essentials', it would be great if it automatically compared ALL supermarkets simultaneously

What a recklessly dangerous thing to recommend in lieu of a <£1 tin opener, and worse in the middle of ambulance strikes !!
It would really only be appropriate in a survival situation or is that what she's angling for?

 

[Lazarus]

Borbora is the Borbora of this one, as are Piotor and Jehnnie. “cast out from a secure lifetime job into poverty and destitution”
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And here’s her publisher enabling her. View attachment 1835417

Jack seems to have forgotten that she told the Times in 2015 she’d already OWNED Borb for the burger thing
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(Twitter screenies captured by dear @Marmalade Atkins)

Can we also please spare a thought for Old Harold who LEFT causing a rewrite of the acknowledgements, and probably the shredding of the continuity wig in the accompanying tantrum.

ETA I will be DEVASTATED if BIB above doesn’t make it into the acknowledgments (actually I’ll take it literally anywhere in the book)

I know I’ve said it before, as have so many of you, but she’s a spiteful bleep. Who else in their mid-30’s is that arsed about what a teacher said that you’d still be bitter about it 20yrs later?
my PE teacher told me I was good at running; should I write him a snarky letter explaining that I couldn’t run for a bus if my life depended on it, as a way of showing Mr Reid how wrong he was?

imagine carrying that baggage with you? Teachers, managers, pals, school governors, literally everyone is always looking to put Jack down. She is the eternal victim. It’s embarrassing.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

She does at least acknowledge here the harm she does when she signposts stuff to her flying monkeys. Let's be clear, though, that what she calls "mild blowback" includes doxxing, unfounded threats of legal action, and people wishing physical harm - with multiple examples of each readily in evidence over the past few days.

Not only that but she's actually threatening physical harm on people herself. She's threatening to 'chin' people. Although, let's be honest, if she had a face to face confrontation, she'd be quivering like a shitting dog.

 

[I'm not actually here]

The editors/publishers just let Jack write any old shite and don't even edit it, don't they?

It can only be that they have finally thought, fkit, let's just hope we don't make too much of a profit margin that is a loss whilst we go through the contractual small print and find a way to say WE LEFT.

 

[Enwre]

Do we have receipts for when she was crowd sourcing thrifty tips from her followers? Were they promised a book or an acknowledgement or anything in return?

I think all the “tips” will come from the Budget DIY Facebook group that she is part of and similar. They won’t he hers alone.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

That books looks shitter than i first thought. I would actually be more offended that people thought i was this thick, that i needed a book telling me to use bottles for other things.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I have a twitter account and follow Jack, but have never interacted with her. The last thing I want to do is talk to her.

I won't interact with her, but I do have a real urge to post this under every single thing she tweets.

Spoiler: Childish, not sorry.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Poors don’t have pan lids

Funny you should say that, because I’ve just been reading her list of MUST HAVE kitchen equipment

Spoiler: twit

Which includes pans with lids.

It also includes a load of tit you don’t need (seriously, I earn a decent crust these days, enjoy cooking, cook almost daily and don’t have a load of these “key bits and pieces” and “might want to adds/really nice to haves” because they’re SO far from bleeping essential that they’re either completely unnecessary, or superfluous when you have other things on this list.

It’s “essential” to have a small paring knife, a couple of baking sheets AND a couple of roasting tins, but you “might want to add” oven gloves and a chopping board at some point? And you should only get a spatula “if you can wangle it” after you get a single egg frying pan, bullet blender, griddle pan, loaf tin, fairy cake tin, muffin tin, serving tongs, and a cake tin or two?

Also, using a bread knife to cut squashes and swedes? Yeah, you’ll need that knife sharpener. FFS nobody at her publishers gives a flying duck what she puts out there, do they?!

 

[Foxvint]

No words.

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Wtf. A colander is a pound you self indulgent clown. Next up- don't bin that half a melon after eating the inside, it makes a great bike helmet, toot toot

 

[Nurseali]

Funny you should say that, because I’ve just been reading her list of MUST HAVE kitchen equipment

Spoiler: twit

Which includes pans with lids.

It also includes a load of tit you don’t need (seriously, I earn a decent crust these days, enjoy cooking, cook almost daily and don’t have a load of these “key bits and pieces” and “might want to adds/really nice to haves” because they’re SO far from bleeping essential that they’re either unnecessary or superfluous when you have other things on this list.

It’s “essential” to have a small paring knife, a couple of baking sheets AND a couple of roasting tins, but you “might want to add” oven gloves and a chopping board at some point? And you should only get a spatula “if you can wangle it” after you get a single egg frying pan, bullet blender, griddle pan, loaf tin, fairy cake tin, muffin tin, and cake tin or two?

Also, using a bread knife to cut squashes and swedes? Yeah, you’ll need that knife sharpener. FFS nobody at her publishers gives a flying duck what she puts out there, do they?!
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She really has never been poor has she

 

[SendReceive]

For the love of god, will someone teach Jack how to do a thread properly.

 

[Shimmering]

Carole has a lot to answer for. And it's now clear why Rosemary dumped her.

Anyone else genuinely, genuinely shocked by how bleeping BAD it is?

Ourexpectationswerelowbutholyfuckingshit.jpg

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

What’s the deal with the new agent? Rosemary elite agent ditched her but seamlessly passed her to the Z-list agent. What’s in it for the second rate agent? Do good agents pay bad ones to take on clients who are failing to keep their lists high quality?

 

[jenny2603]

This is botulism waiting to happen. Oil is one of the hardest things to fully clean off plastic. I'm as eco as it gets, but it's called single-use plastic for a reason. Not to mention the labelling issue.

Absolutely don't do this.
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Strikes me as a bad idea too. However it's not even Jack's own terrible advice. As I suspect we'll find with the rest of the book it's been plagiarised off the internet. It might be worth tracing all these twop twips to their source.

FYI: If anyone is thinking of using old clothes as dusters or whatever you can just cut them with pinking shears which you can get on Amazon for £3:49 or if that is too spendy just use them until they get too frayed to be useful. Faffing around with glue is just pointless work.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Jamie oliver is trying to get the sugarctax to pay to feed school kids and she is quoted to say she uses a lot of sugar in her porridge and you lot say she doea nothing for poors. Its not a wonder her teef are crumbling.

 

[Foxvint]

I imagine a lot of her readers are the types who come in A&E with jelly moulds and hoover attachments inserted in them.
Accidentally fell whilst reading Jack Monroe tweets doc

Why spend £30 on a rampant rabbit when you can just use whatever the greengrocers got on offer yomp yomp

 

[Lucky Escape]

Strikes me as a bad idea too. However it's not even Jack's own terrible advice. As I suspect we'll find with the rest of the book it's been plagiarised off the internet. It might be worth tracing all these twop twips to their source.

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FYI: If anyone is thinking of using old clothes as dusters or whatever you can just cut them with pinking shears which you can get on Amazon for £3:49 or if that is too spendy just use them until they get too frayed to be useful. Faffing around with glue is just pointless work.

Most household glues aren't food-safe - so won't washing your dishes with a glued pillowcase risk leaving toxic residue all over them?

 

[Enwre]

“ Proselytizing about the indignity of unmet basic human needs is futile when in the immediate here and now, millions of our neighbours are going hungry behind closed doors. First we feed the people, then we plan the revolution.”

make it stop! Please. Cringing inside out here.

 

[Hollaaa]

If you cut up a t-shirt the edges might roll up on themselves a bit, but knit fabrics don't fray in the same way as wovens (shirts, jeans etc). No glue required for old greying pants, for example.