Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

[Toffee finger]

Spoiler: Jack attempts a thread

I admit I only skimmed this latest thread but “notoriously deliberately private address” made me

 

[That Forensic Man]

She just shat this 20 gif thread all over her timeline whinging about trolls
Is this her master plan that replaced TROLLCLAIMS?

Jack Monroe on Twitter: "🧵Hey, @Twitter! I know everything’s kind of…

archived 28 Dec 2022 16:13:03 UTC

archive.md

Jack Monroe on Twitter: "If you agree that you’d like to see fewer bu…

archived 28 Dec 2022 16:22:51 UTC

archive.md

 

[jenny2603]

She really has never been poor has she

And also knows duck all about foodbanks. If you were handed tins that required an opener the volunteer would happily sub them for ring pull tins if you told them you couldn't open them. In the highly unlikely event none were available they'd sub in packets or something else that you could use. Sadly foodbanks are used to dealing with people in all kinds of tricky situations whether that's having no power, no cooker, no hob etc and will always try to find a way to help. If Jack had spent the last decade working behind the scenes she'd know this already but she hasn't.

 

[imBUSY]

To be honest, I don’t really even understand her explanation of how to open a can, does she mean you should stick the knife into the top of the can and bash the end of it with a hammer? If you somehow actually end up opening the can without injuring yourself, you’re 100% going to have destroyed the knife which is arguably going to be more expensive to replace than if you just bought a 50p can opener?!
I mean maybe her suggestion is better than nothing if you’re in an emergency and don’t have a tin opener, but she cannot seriously be suggesting that as a long term method of opening cans.
Sorry I’m rambling here but I’m just baffled by this.

This reminds me of Bean Dad on the haunted bird hellsite, if you remember him.

Outcry as 'bean dad' forces hungry child to open tin can

He boasted online about making his hungry daughter, nine, try to open a can of beans for six hours.

www.bbc.com

 

[kachoochoo]

well. jack becoming an elon simp, i did not see coming!

 

[Livia Fantasy]

And also there's that clever method (which she has used) where you measure the cooking liquid carefully so it doesn't even need draining. Same for rice - two to one volumes of boiling water to rice, pinch of salt, pop a lid on, turn it right down, cook till the liquid is gone then just leave it to steam with the heat off. Perfect.

Sounds a bit like COOKING to me, and Jack is not a cook

 

[streby]

“ Proselytizing about the indignity of unmet basic human needs is futile when in the immediate here and now, millions of our neighbours are going hungry behind closed doors. First we feed the people, then we plan the revolution.”

make it stop! Please. Cringing inside out here.

Is a hungry neighbour not someone with an unmet basic human need? We shouldn't worry about people going hungry until we've solved the problem of people going hungry?

 

[Reagent]

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Someone's been sniffing the glue! A pack of 10 dish cloths is about £2.50. Pritt stick or pva won't stick on fabric.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

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OR

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AND

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AND

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AND

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and

Glue, t shirt, keyrings, hooks, mop, etc, etc.

Haha thanks for posting this - we genuinely need some clip hooks and I was putting off a trip to B&Q tomorrow

 

[blurstoftimes]

Spoiler: Jack attempts a thread

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I admit I only skimmed this latest thread but “notoriously deliberately private address” made me

tldr: jack explains to twitter how twitter works

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Why is she telling people to get multiple knives when she only ever uses a serrated bread knife for all jobs

Spoiler: Not ALL jobs…

#Jack’sLITERALhacks

You can chop a for sale sign down with…a saw.

And also use the same rusty rank saw to…

absolutely decimate a butternut squash.

(As always credit to @Marmalade Atkins for immortalizing)

 

[ItchOfTheWestCoast]

Although, let's be honest, if she had a face to face confrontation, she'd be quivering like a shitting dog.

She practices being hard in front of the mirror doesn't she. With her Sloppy Shelby hat on.

 

[Shimmering]

I think we'll need a new slop along style thread where tattlers attempt to recreate her thrifty tips.

 

[Nurseali]

Only a narc would think the CEO and managers at twitter aren't aware some people have multiple accounts and if you block one you don't block all. How patronising does she sound.
Is she really using this as a way to divert heat.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

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Why not just cut up the bleeping pillow and wash when needed? Why does everything she does have five pointless steps like she thinks she’s in the bleeping Boy Scouts.

 

[Ellabella]

What on earth are those bloody GIFs after every post?

 

[Hold my beans]

Also food banks give out tin openers.

Or how much would one be in a charity shop ffs.

 

[DragonBoy]

Also food banks give out tin openers.

I remember my grandad using one of these and it was lethal. It also left the lid sticking up and jagged, like a circular, spiky razor. Christ knows what state a knife/hammer/mallet approach would result in

 

[shugabug23]

IM OFF TO DO THE LOTTO

Hi Jack!

 

[jenny2603]

I am not a Jack troll as I don't post about her or at her on Twitter. I also don't want to her to die because it will spoil the fun and make laughing at her a social faux pas. However if I were a troll I would just use Nitter, 12ft.io or one of the archive sites to view her ridiculous babble, then screenshot it and share it with my followers in a spirit of gentle mockery.