Jack Monroe #44 Spoiler

[FeelingGroovy]

HELLO! I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE!

I've found JM more irritating than sawdust in your bra for *years* now. Her manic swings and attention seeking have done my bleeping head in for many years now. I only found Tattle Life when that other massive irritant, Sali Hughes, rage-insta'ed about the place. It's taken me months to venture around the place and I was so pleased to find like minded JM Not-Fans. So many of my real life pals seem to think she's terrific and I do this face:

<insert .gif of person doing WTF face>

She's an attention seeking calamity magnet. Everything is a drama. Everything is ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
The stuff with the kitten? duck me. It's all already been said.

I took a look at some of her INsta-Live things yesterday - sweet christ, she's woeful on screen. She's not a *bad* writer, and her photos of food are pretty good but she is so not a natural presenter. My husband loathes Jamie Oliver, and even so he watched his lockdown programmes with me, and whilst being a 'Fat Tongued Prick' (his name for him) he agreed he is a good natural presenter. *That's* why he got the gig, Jack, and not you. Because you look and behave like a startled primary school kid in the role of one of the 3 Wise Men in the school nativity.

The Twitter-fawning over her does my nut in. She's clearly not a well chick, in oh so many ways, and she has a tribe of enablers hanging on her every word.

I could go on.... But thankyou for verbalising all the shite I thought I was alone in thinking.

 

[Not Now Bernard]

There’s a Roberts radio (Circa £150) on her ten seater dining table. For someone so poor she does seem to like high end products

 

[choccydigestive]

There’s a Roberts radio (Circa £150) on her ten seater dining table. For someone so poor she does seem to like high end products

*Insert "adds to list" gif*

 

[LavaFlake]

*Insert "adds to list" gif*

We should create a list of dupes and swaps like that programme on BBC 1 "Jack by changing your high end products to middle range ones... you would have made a total saving of £25,000"

Eta: I am loving all the newbies and lurkers joining! Welcome to one of the friendliest corners of the internet!

 

[Aquamarina]

HELLO! I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE!

I've found JM more irritating than sawdust in your bra for *years* now. Her manic swings and attention seeking have done my bleeping head in for many years now. I only found Tattle Life when that other massive irritant, Sali Hughes, rage-insta'ed about the place. It's taken me months to venture around the place and I was so pleased to find like minded JM Not-Fans. So many of my real life pals seem to think she's terrific and I do this face:

<insert .gif of person doing WTF face>

She's an attention seeking calamity magnet. Everything is a drama. Everything is ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
The stuff with the kitten? duck me. It's all already been said.

I took a look at some of her INsta-Live things yesterday - sweet christ, she's woeful on screen. She's not a *bad* writer, and her photos of food are pretty good but she is so not a natural presenter. My husband loathes Jamie Oliver, and even so he watched his lockdown programmes with me, and whilst being a 'Fat Tongued Prick' (his name for him) he agreed he is a good natural presenter. *That's* why he got the gig, Jack, and not you. Because you look and behave like a startled primary school kid in the role of one of the 3 Wise Men in the school nativity.

The Twitter-fawning over her does my nut in. She's clearly not a well chick, in oh so many ways, and she has a tribe of enablers hanging on her every word.

I could go on.... But thankyou for verbalising all the shite I thought I was alone in thinking.

Hello and welcome! That’s a pretty accurate summary of Jackie and would be a great TLDR intro to the threads. I came over to Tattle Life just before the Sali Hughes Freaky Friday drama and like Withnail, came on holiday to the JM threads by mistake, but stayed because she’s just such an absolute lying, manipulative bell end.

 

[Silver Linings]

Remind me not to have a wee in this bathroom!

 

[Mycuppatea]

The Walliams book is likely just selling well and not restocked yet. Something that probably didn't occur to Jack as she hasn't experienced that yet.

I deliberately went and reserved as many DW books as I could on our library system. Jackie brings out the contrarian in me.

 

[blurstoftimes]

View attachment 180331Remind me not to have a wee in this bathroom!View attachment 180332

She has some bleeping CHEEK calling the replies pearl clutching when Jack was all 'won't somebody please think of the children' about DW books last week!

 

[busylass]

Am I missing something here? The kitten can get out of the bathroom but the big cat can't get to her? So where is the big cat locked up? Why doesn't she just put the kitten in a box next to her in the bedroom so she is secure and can't wander round the house and then close the bedroom door? So many questions

 

[chocolate choux]

These ads

 

[byropaw]

View attachment 180245

Sure Jackie, all kittens can nudge open wooden doors easily.

Does anyone remember my pink hat evidence note? When someone is giving written or oral evidence or, it appears, a tweet, the questions are built around the pink hat.

Jack, apropos nothing, offers this detail: this is an exact video of how a door opens when I'm wearing my pink hat, so PROOF!

Jack: Oh yes, I forget to mention that the bed is very low and one day while wearing my pink hat I moved storage boxes next to it, in what turned out to be the perfect configuration for this disabled kitten to navigate

Jack (now riding it hard): how very dare you! It's a door I especially made to open only from the inside, because as a pink hat wearing mother, I think that's a really safe thing in bathrooms, GOD, do you want measurements or something?"

In fairness (I like a devil's advocate position sometimes), my also previously mentioned Wally cat (dumped in a bin and rescued by great people) fitted into a tea cup when I brought him home from the vet at 12 weeks. On his first night, he managed to climb into my bed which was fairly tall, metal legs, no long trailing rugs or bed linen. I was amazed and shocked. (I also nearly squashed him with my boobs.) Maybe it did happen with this kitten. Bbnaaahhaaaaahaaaaa joking. It did not happen.

 

[DaisyJay]

Heads up for decent recipe fans:
East: 120 Easy and Delicious Asian-inspired Vegetarian and Vegan recipes by Meera Sodha - Kindle eBook 99p. Looks really good.

I've not finished this thread but have skipped to the end to reply to this. East is great - her Ben Ben Noodles are an absolute staple in my house.

And... I have something to thank Jack for... without her social media I may not have stumbled across Dishoom doing make-at-home kits of their bacon naan. Mine arrived this morning (a lock down extravagance!). I also saw that Jay Rayner has reviewed them but not read that yet as I don't want to know if they're rubbish! Back to page 45 now!

 

[Mycuppatea]

Her fans are so deluded as to the level of influence she has, I doubt most people were even aware of her stupid twitter rant, I know I wouldn’t be unless I read here

So far, if I bring her up in an ill-fated attempt to make conversation with another human being outside my household, nobody knows who she is. My sister had a vague idea that she is a trans person with lots of tats who did food bank cooking.

She is the definition of a legend in her own lifetime.

I wonder, if it was going to be a weeks work to work out postage costs on a book going to the Netherlands, how many years of 20 hour days it will take managing the conversations she's having with literally hundreds of libraries and schools etc about DW books, while also handling all the texts from political prisoners and the benefits advice she claimed, alongside helping with Grenfell Tower, advising The Groucho on fire emergencies and bring a Top Secret Government Lady Adviser. That's alongside being the Nation's Favourite Slop Chef, saviour of food bank people, politician, poet and all the rest.

Where would the UK be without Jackie Munroe?

 

[GoLando]

Does anyone remember my pink hat evidence note? When someone is giving written or oral evidence or, it appears, a tweet, the questions are built around the pink hat.

Jack, apropos nothing, offers this detail: this is an exact video of how a door opens when I'm wearing my pink hat, so PROOF!

Jack: Oh yes, I forget to mention that the bed is very low and one day while wearing my pink hat I moved storage boxes next to it, in what turned out to be the perfect configuration for this disabled kitten to navigate

Jack (now riding it hard): how very dare you! It's a door I especially made to open only from the inside, because as a pink hat wearing mother, I think that's a really safe thing in bathrooms, GOD, do you want measurements or something?"

In fairness (I like a devil's advocate position sometimes), my also previously mentioned Wally cat (dumped in a bin and rescued by great people) fitted into a tea cup when I brought him home from the vet at 12 weeks. On his first night, he managed to climb into my bed which was fairly tall, metal legs, no long trailing rugs or bed linen. I was amazed and shocked. (I also nearly squashed him with my boobs.) Maybe it did happen with this kitten. Bbnaaahhaaaaahaaaaa joking. It did not happen.

I missed the pink hat thing and now I'm confused and intrigued.

 

[byropaw]

I missed the pink hat thing and now I'm confused and intrigued.

It's just a lawyer/cynic thing, when someone is giving oral or written evidence, too much unnecessary detail is a good hint they are embellishing, to fit what they think they need to say. Even when the truth is good enough and they just need to say their piece of the puzzle, they want to be more in the story, and add details like, I recall X specifically because I was wearing my pink hat that day

 

[Veronicaaa]

The woman asked one question. Seven words. Jack rants a bulky two-tweet response. I mean, the last part asking if she wants the dimensions of the bathroom - she never mentioned the size! What is Jack on about?!

It really doesn't surprise me in the slightest that she's done this - and done it to a low-follower account (if one of her blue tick followers had written the same tweet, Jack would be charm itself in explaining). We all know she's been due for a crash back to her regular horrible self for a while now - I'm only amazed this phase of being overly nice to people has lasted as long as it has.

 

[emm]

What is she going on about?? If the kitten can get out, it's not 'safe'??

ETA - this is another drama of her own making, because she wasn't truthful in the first place.

Her lies are getting more absurd, literally contradicting herself in the same post, Jesus

 

[Effie22]

I’ve just had a trawl of her followers.
Undoubtedly she has some bonafida ‘blue ticks’, and regular Twitterers in the list
But she also has absolutely loads of people with zero tweets and zero followers.
Now call me cynical if you must, but once upon a time in a previous life I ‘bought’ a load of twitter followers to ‘boost’ a business I was managing. And guess what?
Every single one had no tweets and no followers.
Obviously I’m not saying that’s what she’s done.

 

[emm]

HELLO! I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE!

I've found JM more irritating than sawdust in your bra for *years* now. Her manic swings and attention seeking have done my bleeping head in for many years now. I only found Tattle Life when that other massive irritant, Sali Hughes, rage-insta'ed about the place. It's taken me months to venture around the place and I was so pleased to find like minded JM Not-Fans. So many of my real life pals seem to think she's terrific and I do this face:

<insert .gif of person doing WTF face>

She's an attention seeking calamity magnet. Everything is a drama. Everything is ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
The stuff with the kitten? duck me. It's all already been said.

I took a look at some of her INsta-Live things yesterday - sweet christ, she's woeful on screen. She's not a *bad* writer, and her photos of food are pretty good but she is so not a natural presenter. My husband loathes Jamie Oliver, and even so he watched his lockdown programmes with me, and whilst being a 'Fat Tongued Prick' (his name for him) he agreed he is a good natural presenter. *That's* why he got the gig, Jack, and not you. Because you look and behave like a startled primary school kid in the role of one of the 3 Wise Men in the school nativity.

The Twitter-fawning over her does my nut in. She's clearly not a well chick, in oh so many ways, and she has a tribe of enablers hanging on her every word.

I could go on.... But thankyou for verbalising all the shite I thought I was alone in thinking.

Welcome!Exactly this, her writing is good (albeit I read nothing of what she says because of the lies) but I don’t get why she keeps trying to present when she clearly isn’t good at it, why not just stick with writing a?

 

[Silver Linings]

Sigh.