Jack Monroe #44 Spoiler

[Passive_Aggressive_Lemon]

She’d better not go after MY MONTY. I’ll go after her sorry arse with the fire of eleventy thousand suns if she does!!!!

I've been mainly lurking for ages and steaming through all of her shitshow via this wonderful cabal. You guys are a wonderful escape and I am in awe of all of your wit!


@GrunkaLunka I’ve just ordered a Shark cordless after your positive feedback. Thankyou, and Thankyou even more for inspiring the verb “grunka-ing”. For sure it needs to go into urban dictionary post haste, and into the Oxford dictionary for 2021!

All steam ahead to the next station on the shitshow express! I’ll probably head back to lurkdom for a bit now, but again, Thankyou wonderful frauen (that term reminds me of the good old days of data lounge, before it had its makeover)

that poor little kitten

Not being funny but I think you’ll find he’s my Monty. However, am happy to share him for a packet of wine gums and a nice chat about how good Adam Frost looks with his lockdown hairstyle

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I’m going to say Loose Women after her (corned) beef with them on Monday.

 

[BeingMyrtle]

It'll probably be the vet she tries her tit with next, because he won't do what she wants.

Where does she go to if Noel says no? God??

 

[FrumpyCat]

Her thing seems to be rich white successful men who vaguely impinge on her life (chef, children's author). Doesn't narrow it down I know.
Johnathan Ross? He has cats?

Russel Brand would be a good next target. I've always thought he was a grade a misogynist.

 

[Lady Punchbag]

Didn't she make a snarky comment about Monty when she was on DKL? Something about him and his "acres of land"? I didn't watch it because she makes my sphincter clench but one of the live-a-thon threads on here referenced it. She's such a jealous, bitter twit. Nasty towards anyone she perceives as having an advantage over her.

Russel Brand would be a good next target. I've always thought he was a grade a misogynist.

I don't think she'd go after Russell, he's too lefty and celebby. She secretly aches to be one of his celeb friends.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Didn't she make a snarky comment about Monty when she was on DKL? Something about him and his "acres of land"? I didn't watch it because she makes my sphincter clench but one of the live-a-thon threads on here referenced it. She's such a jealous, bitter twit. Nasty towards anyone she perceives as having an advantage over her.

Yes she did. He too has well documented MH struggles so sadly I wouldn't put it past her. He's got lots of money so that makes it OK (applying her David Walliams logic).

 

[Jelly Bean]

The only thing with Monty is he is well loved by everyone. She usually selects a safer target to deride, a bit of a softer option.

 

[Not Now Bernard]

Maybe Gordon Ramsay? Tbh I’d love that.

 

[Lady Punchbag]

I don't think she'd go after Noel Fitzpatrick either if he refused to help. As much as he's self-aggrandising, he always puts the animals first and he would spot her narc ways in a flash. I think if he suspected she was using the kitten for self-promotion he would chew her up and spit her out.

Maybe Gordon Ramsay? Tbh I’d love that.

I don't think he's likely either. Unlike Jack, he actually grew up in poverty, with domestic abuse and an alcoholic dad. She'd be a fool to take him on to try and score poverty points against him.

 

[MrsOgre]

These people walk among us

 

[Pocahontas]

@PennyLoafer your comment ‘black eyes, like a doll’s eyes’ from the other thread was spot on, and also made me think of Other Mother in Coraline.
(similar hair as well):

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

That Sun article is horrifying in terms of what Kohli has done and been able to get away with. The picture of Jack they used is obviously an old one now but she looks quite pretty with lustrous hair. Only the smile is more of a sneer and her eyes do look cold and lifeless. I think she lacks inner warmth, empathy and the only tears she will truly cry are for herself. I am so glad Louisa escaped/left. Hopefully she will warn other ladies to steer clear. Poor wee kitten is looking awfully thin, the x ray revealed that too I feel awful for saying this but I hope SB spends most of his time with his dad away from all the drama and constant stress of Jack's situations. Between him and the kitten I don't know who to feel sorrier for.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

I would love to see her go after Piers Morgan.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Didn't she make a snarky comment about Monty when she was on DKL? Something about him and his "acres of land"? I didn't watch it because she makes my sphincter clench but one of the live-a-thon threads on here referenced it. She's such a jealous, bitter twit. Nasty towards anyone she perceives as having an advantage over her.


I don't think she'd go after Russell, he's too lefty and celebby. She secretly aches to be one of his celeb friends.

Which would be absolutely bleeping typical taking into consideration the opinion of half of Camden when he was busy being both the slebby and the tit rags' #2 favourite addict when Amy wasn't available.


Anyhow, not Monty because he's perfectly able to take care of himself and not respond to the rantings of who, to him, would be a deluded child (and her target base of nice middleclass older ladies wouldn't go for it).

And Loose Women, much as I detest them, the show, the attitudes, the entire premise, would completely destroy her if she started on them personally.


Has to be somebody she sees as equal but potentially vulnerable. Not scary, council house made good - those people would be too terrifying to a naice girl like her. Not the Upper Echelons, as her crying when one pointed out that granddad owned a fuckton of property doesn't really work more than once.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Or maybe Simon Cowell? Didn’t she allude to having once auditioned for X Factor and it not being a great experience?

Simon seems an easy target, especially after all the controversy surrounding X Factor last month.

 

[MellowD]

I would love to see her go after Piers Morgan.

They have already had a pop at each other on Twitter, will see if I can find it.

 

[Missmopps]

No k

Not being funny but I think you’ll find he’s my Monty. However, am happy to share him for a packet of wine gums and a nice chat about how good Adam Frost looks with his lockdown hairstyle

as long as I can have the red and purple ones, I’ll agree to a 50/50 split to Monty. Deal?

 

[Stinkyminky]

Possibly Laurence Fox, though I think he’d annihilate her. They need to be slightly unpopular to start with, as it’s only ever bandwagon jumping.

 

[Missmopps]

These people walk among us View attachment 177924

As if old age wasn’t tough enough for some folks

 

[MellowD]

They have already had a pop at each other on Twitter, will see if I can find it.

Cannot find it anywhere, probably because the both fall out with so many people it's buried!