Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[HotesTilaire]

It’s still there, I think it’s called ‘Jack Monroe off Twitter’

Yup - Jack Monroe off twitter, the thread has been running for ages so it’s about page 38/9

 

[SendReceive]

It’s still there, I think it’s called ‘Jack Monroe off Twitter’

I still can’t find it. Doing a chaos in search. If anyone more ~forensic~ than I can softly gently painstakingly give a pointer to where it is that would be much appreciated.

Ah, found it - thank(space)you everyone.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

First time posting after watching from the sidelines for a wee while but holy duck, the way she speaks is SO weird?? Overly descriptive for no reason. "The very large dog has come to check on me while I'm in the very large bed". Okay??? Also don't think anyone picked up on her whole "in (very old, large) bed" or whatever it was. Like WHY are you feeling the need to be so descriptive? Obviously she wants to hit home she's poor a lot of its down to that, but not all. It's like she's obsessed with her own life, and curating the exact version of it she likes via nonsensical self obsessed boring tweets? Regardless, yes if your child's that sick you don't tweet nonsense on twitter. And ofc after the 100th random occurance people's bullshitometers go up and don't go down.. "oh silly me my phone died after that massive attention seeking tweet" duck off 🥲🥲🥲

Anyone remember the episode of The Goes Wrong Show where they have to pad out every line with adjectives to keep to the specified running time? That's what she reminds me of

 

[Katkat]

That Man on This Morning, probably not making inedible green slop so we may have a morning chaos incoming…
Also what a narcissistic bleep to breadcrumb serious illness in her child while thinking about eating his advent calendar. We know she’s probably lying, but her adoring twit followers don’t and not one of them has the brains to see how harmful and fucked up it all is.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I don't even understand why someone would get an advent calendar for their 34 year old daughter??

 

[pumbilical cord]

I don't even understand why someone would get an advent calendar for their 34 year old daughter??

I'm in my 40s, I still get advent calendars from the parents and a fiver for Easter

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm in my 40s, I still get advent calendars from the parents and a fiver for Easter

I'm going to take this up with my Mother.

 

[itsnotmereally]

Gosh, she grinds my gears. She goes so low and it baffles me how so many seem to painstakingly suck it up.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I have taken to my sick bed and would appreciate a chaos to get me through the day

 

[Shimmering]

Spot the difference

Jack

Simon Harris - Man Behaving Dadly

 

[SendReceive]

Spot the difference

Jack

View attachment 1788844

Simon Harris - Man Behaving Dadly

View attachment 1788845

Spoiler: Simon Harris? Who?

This literal neckbeard pops up all over my Twitter timeline even though I don’t follow him. He gives the impression of someone who thinks that shitposting on social media all day constitutes a job (remind you of anyone?). Seems to stan for Jack quite a bit too. How has he got 47 thousand followers? Can anyone shed any light on this?

 

[HotesTilaire]

I'm in my 40s, I still get advent calendars from the parents and a fiver for Easter

I would get one, except I threw a to-do about it a few years ago. Something like “I’m in my 40s I don’t want a f-ing advent calendar”.

 

[Hackastory]

View attachment 1788241

I HATE the way she describes herself. It really irritates me...but is she actually claiming to be smaller than a chimpanzee?

 

[House of Carbonara]

No one on her work page needs to know her kids sick, unless its she is unable to work due to said kid. These pretend keyboard warriors are not you friend, judging by how some of them talk they are in fact trolls in diguise.

Normal people dont make bold claims about purposely making other peoples lives hell. The people on here and on there are merely asking valid questions and ribbing you on your ridiculous claims and made up tales.

They dont wish you ill or harm. Those issues are on you pet and your conscience.

Exactly this, every word. If your child is really sick, why are you on Twitter? If your child isn't really sick (fingers crossed), why are you on Twitter instead of spending time with him? Your fawning fans are not your friends mate, however much you delude yourself into believing they are. They'd drop you like yesterday's news if someone more interesting came along.
You're 34, not 14. Grow up and behave like a responsible adult.

I would get one, except I threw a to-do about it a few years ago. Something like “I’m in my 40s I don’t want a f-ing advent calendar”.

Up to a couple of years ago I used to buy myself a beauty one - and definitely not a child.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Guys I haven’t grunked because I’ve been doing a root cause analysis to determine the causation of last nights chaos and BINGO. “Which?” Have only gone and nicked her niche. Presumably because they want her to stop breathing.

ETA should have grunked. Already covered. Sorry for being a jack

 

[GoLando]

It’s still there, I think it’s called ‘Jack Monroe off Twitter’

Thanks. I had found that but I thought the earlier comment implied stuff was being posted today.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Spoiler: Real VBI

View attachment 1788545

I see Which? have beaten Monwoe to the VBI. Again.

Aw noes, naughty Which? all in her niche again!
How did *anybody* take her seriously in the first place is one of the great mysteries of life, really.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I don't even understand why someone would get an advent calendar for their 34 year old daughter??

My dad bought me one

 

[Cookiecookie]

That's always been my question, one of many. How on earth can't people see it?

In the beginning, I can see why people bought into it (I was one of them) However, as time goes on, I really don't understand it.

 

[jenny2603]

I don't even understand why someone would get an advent calendar for their 34 year old daughter??

Because if she sees SB getting one and she doesn't she'll get jealous and nick his. Her mum has sadly underestimated what an awful childish twit Jack is and not foreseen that Jack would eat hers in a sitting and then steal SB's.