Ooh, I got the same! Shall we team up and make a giant Easter cake for everyone’s in-laws??
Thank you for our festive treats @traumatised sideboard
Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday
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Thank you for our festive treats @traumatised sideboard
Giant omelette
A tin of Mel Donte's Sitrus Calad!
I'm going to snarf it down like the greedy goblin that I am, after I've boiled it for 2 hours to remove the toxins and then sling it in the nutribullet.
Thank you, Slopbot!
I'm going to snarf it down like the greedy goblin that I am, after I've boiled it for 2 hours to remove the toxins and then sling it in the nutribullet.
Thank you, Slopbot!
I am not sure what role Jack will play in this nativity scene but I am eager to see the results. Sorry, I have no clue what a "politics nativity scene" is or what the point of such a horror might be. I just know that I never, ever want to be trapped in a lift with anyone who has one.
Oh dear lord, what kind of tedious fuckery is that?
I got a lovely glass kettle. Although with my track record of breaking stuff, I fear it may end up like Jack's. Just without the karate moves she claimed hers involved!
Having conducted a FORENSIC investigation, it appears to be a teacher planning to expose children to a nativity scene that has Jack in it. There ought to be law against it but the country is governed by irresponsible nitwits.
I think a lot of that is true, but the behaviours themselves are so similar!
I’m a bit disappointed with SlopBot’s gift 
I do SO MUCH for people, I grind my bones to literal dust for the povs, and this is all the ingrates give me? Send cashos please!
I do SO MUCH for people, I grind my bones to literal dust for the povs, and this is all the ingrates give me? Send cashos please!
Herod.
They need to make a thread about Darren macgarvey on here, total drama hound on Twitter and changes his political tune as often as Jack misses a Patreon delivery date.
In scenes reminiscent of an actual Christmas Day in 1984, I do NOT like my present and am sitting glaring at it and being hard done to.
Everyone else got lovely presents like Charlie Binghams and Faberge Eggs. I got the Joules Yellow Jacket, I can’t even return it because they went bust. Hmpf.
Everyone else got lovely presents like Charlie Binghams and Faberge Eggs. I got the Joules Yellow Jacket, I can’t even return it because they went bust. Hmpf.
Eww. I hate how many of these people have infested the education system. And as for Jack being a 'recognisable figure', I highly doubt it!
I'm
at this. My first foray into the limelight was playing the stable door in my kindergarten's 1972 production of the Nativity. They didn't want me talking as I had quite a strong Québecan accent, much like Jack being ostracised for her coarseness I was already facing xenophobia at the age of 5.
Thankspaceyou Slopbot, unless it's not actually a fancy lipstick but an item from Jack's 'special drawer'...
I have faith in the kids. Jack will have glasses and a Hitler moustache by morning break and a cock and balls somewhere anatomically unlikely by lunchtime.
A fancy new lawn mower! Thank you SlopBot 
, you must have seen my unruly lawn. I shall keep it securely locked in the garage. I shan't have it stolen by pesky Southend thieves.
, you must have seen my unruly lawn. I shall keep it securely locked in the garage. I shan't have it stolen by pesky Southend thieves.
I love this place, so glad I stumbled across it 
Oooh Burberry trenchcoat, thanks Slopbot, I feel like Inspector Gadget!
I'm fine, lads! I ended up playing the lead role in Iolanthe in Grade 7 even though I still had the accent. Showed those fuckers what I was made of. You could say I had the last laugh...
Would you like my black dylon for it?
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