Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[MavisBeacon]

If we are having Jack Monroe Singing vids, this is my video version of @Marmalade Atkins fave Easter pic of tinyheaded Jack that’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve never even managed to listen properly all the way through. I just LOVE and cannot get enough of the trilled “Hiya!” followed by the big sniff, nose wipe and calling herself a COKE book author- all in the first eight seconds. I listen to that part multiple times then I just forward to the warbling.

Coke book author
Thing is, she has an ok voice - the kind that's two a penny in modern churches and mediocre bands. But anyone sounds a bit tit if they're just singing unaccompanied, and it's such a manifestation of her massive ego to put it out there. Still not as bad as the one finger piano hammering though - that made my bumhole cringe out of both ears at once

 

[SweetTransvestite]

My fave bit was the emotional whispering bit at the end

Please tell me there isn't

 

[Lucky Escape]

If we are having Jack Monroe Singing vids, this is my video version of @Marmalade Atkins fave Easter pic of tinyheaded Jack that’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve never even managed to listen properly all the way through. I just LOVE and cannot get enough of the trilled “Hiya!” followed by the big sniff, nose wipe and calling herself a COKE book author- all in the first eight seconds. I listen to that part multiple times then I just forward to the warbling.

My god, she really does describe herself as a coke book author, doesn't she? She's so odd.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Do we have an “in”? I would volunteer to stand outside the venue but alas I’m SICK.

Sadly I will be busy scrubbing my nails.

 

[MooBelle]

I've been doing some forensicks  and it appears JM's poor mother has set up a new haunted bird account (Nov 2022) to keep an eye on proceedings. No Tweets, just a 'like' of a comment to JM about wallpaper choices which may or may not have been accidental.















I know there's a few who take issue with the family, but I can't help but feel a bit sorry for them. They have to tolerate the lies about JM being working class and starving, but they can't say anything to the contrary because then JM would accuse them of destroying their brand !















I did see in a ranty blog post that JM is estranged from their brother because one Christmas he dared to have an opposing political opinion, but can anyone enlighten me

Probably already addressed but her spat with her brother has as many different versions as all her other stories.
Sometimes it happened at Christmas, sometimes it was at a family wedding. Sometimes he says 'it's all your fault that you're poor' and sometimes 'should've kept your legs shut'. (Please don't confuse this with the time she claims Michael Portillo told her the same thing, especially as this incident was recorded and there is proof he said no such thing. )
In all versions Jack claims she punched her brother. Although sometimes this is reported as being a slap.
Sometimes he falls over as a result of the assault and sometimes he just runs off embarrassed.
In all versions Jack ends with 'needless to say, I had the last laugh'

 

[Hold my beans]

God that's cringe. Isn't that the sort of thing you do when you're 8?

And delete due to mortification aged 11

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I’m safe here in the mountains of the North, I think, or do you think should nip out to sure up Offa’s Dyke? (not a euphemism)

If it has a blue tick and a BBC pension you'd better get cracking my love x

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

View attachment 1751581

"Not everyone has the option of moving home with mummy and daddy..."

Apart from if mummy and daddy have a large detached 5 bed house and are incredibly supportive and have spare rooms because they foster...
Maybe they said "ok but we'll need to know how long for to let the council know about foster placements" or something...

'The boy'

 

[Lucky Escape]

Probably already addressed but her spat with her brother has as many different versions as all her other stories.
Sometimes it happened at Christmas, sometimes it was at a family wedding. Sometimes he says 'it's all your fault that you're poor' and sometimes 'should've kept your legs shut'. (Please don't confuse this with the time she claims Michael Portillo told her the same thing, especially as this incident was recorded and there is proof he said no such thing. )
In all versions Jack claims she punched her brother. Although sometimes this is reported as being a slap.
Sometimes he falls over as a result of the assault and sometimes he just runs off embarrassed.
In all versions Jack ends with 'needless to say, I had the last laugh'

Yeah, because assault is so obviously hilarious. Thanks for that, Jack.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Someone explain to me because I don’t understand. She went to grammar school, not some massively expensive private school.
Entry was by exam and yet her and her brother are the only ‘poor’ children to have made their way in? Yes?

Everyone there, bar them was massively wealthy? So she couldn’t be friends with them.

We have a family member who is sending their child to a very expensive city private school. They are not wealthy and have normal jobs. There seems to be no judgment at all and child has friends.
Friend teaches at an incredibly expensive school and lots of children there on scholarship. Why did Jack go to the only school in the world with only rich families?

 

[Feck]

She claimed in that AWFUL happy baby podcast where she called her child “it” multiple times- said having a child was just like having a dog that the reason she’s “not very maternal” is because she came from a military family. Stupid dead eyed narc fucker.

Bonus points for “NO! NO! I grew up with a revolving door of troubled children/spent a lot of my childhood parenting difficult children” re: not wanting kids of her own. SHE IS VILE. And her adenoidal whine is just is appalling to listen to.

ETA this is a GREAT resource for anyone tempted to start feeling sorry for her at any point

THE LIES! I've never listened to this before and, omg, the absolute audacity to look somebody else in the eye and to spew those barefaced lies. I know all this, of course, but to see her in the flesh being so bloody brazen. The Nike logo helps massively in highlighting the huge, steadying intake of breath after her biggest lies. She also struggles tremendously with maintaining eye contact. What an absolute horror. Revelling in the fact that there are still people in poverty keeping her in work. Utter ghoul.

 

[ScarlettOHaha]

If we are having Jack Monroe Singing vids, this is my video version of @Marmalade Atkins fave Easter pic of tinyheaded Jack that’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve never even managed to listen properly all the way through. I just LOVE and cannot get enough of the trilled “Hiya!” followed by the big sniff, nose wipe and calling herself a COKE book author- all in the first eight seconds. I listen to that part multiple times then I just forward to the warbling.

Dear Lord above, what the hell was that?! My dear partner who got to the thread before me has made us watch it twice, the first time I laughed a lot, but was cringing simultaneously, but the second time I watched it forensically and it’s terrifying.
To me, she looks completely insane. Absolutely bonkers. Far more bonkers than the one time I met her. Part of me wishes she had someone to stop her making such a fool of herself but then I suppose many have tried, and she is so narcissistic that she can’t take any advice.

The other downside to seeing this for the first time, is that my dear partner is now mimicking the talk part on her way upstairs, perfomatively thanking me for being alive on her way to the bath and waving with a creepy smile. FML.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

EXACTLY. I also feel quite confident in saying that if she had experienced such a thing, she wouldn't be tlaking about it in such a flippant way.

Note how it is about Jack's pain at the memory of someone dying and not the person who is dying and their pain.

 

[auntylil]

She claimed in that AWFUL happy baby podcast where she called her child “it” multiple times- said having a child was just like having a dog that the reason she’s “not very maternal” is because she came from a military family. Stupid dead eyed narc fucker.

Bonus points for “NO! NO! I grew up with a revolving door of troubled children/spent a lot of my childhood parenting difficult children” re: not wanting kids of her own. SHE IS VILE. And her adenoidal whine is just is appalling to listen to.

ETA this is a GREAT resource for anyone tempted to start feeling sorry for her at any point

I can't get past 10 minutes of her horrible nasal voice, and the crap she's spouting. Funny how "easy" she found bringing up a child and the other woman had to remind her she'd had such a tough time during the first 2 years of SB's life! Think that's why I found it so galling and couldn't go on! Very telling!

Jack wants to think she's lucky being able to see her baby more or less immediately. Many women can't and don't, myself included. Won't go into details but the way she was so flippant about it all

Spoiler: sensitive

(and what she said about the plastic box, very insensitive!)

rattled me big time. She's a total arse.

 

[Sack Monroe]

Coke book author
Thing is, she has an ok voice - the kind that's two a penny in modern churches and mediocre bands. But anyone sounds a bit tit if they're just singing unaccompanied, and it's such a manifestation of her massive ego to put it out there. Still not as bad as the one finger piano hammering though - that made my bumhole cringe out of both ears at once

Even my choir leader, who has an amazing voice, does not sound great unaccompanied. And that wretched vibrato

 

[jenny2603]

Can one of you dear hearts do a post reminding us of the Tattle rules just before Jack does her Guardian Live because I'm going to have a hard time stopping myself asking a question. Temptation like that isn't easy to resist.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Dear God her pumpkin scones are like biscuits!

Jack Monroe’s pumpkin and sultana scones recipe

This Halloween, try these pumpkin scones instead of the ubiquitous pie. They are sweet enough to eat with butter and savoury enough to pile with cheese

www.theguardian.com

You could break a window with one of those.

 

[Jelly Bean]

At the time of The Guardian live in January the VBI will be one year old
Maybe the great unveiling will be then? Double

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I'm sure I've seen Andi Oliver giving it the old thanks for all you do on the haunted bird app.
<Paging Elon>.

Plus keeping her wait staff tips iirc?

 

[RinsingHoops]

Spoiler: On topic but will probably annoy mods

I’ve noticed that Molly and some of the regular squigs have been sending money to and promoting the woman who published the DMs with Jack and has posted a GoFundMe with the horrifying picture of her (alleged) husband’s gammy leg. I haven’t read her page but surely this is just the same tit but on a different scale? Write with great emotion about a crappy situation and watch the pounds roll in. Kudos to the people giving sensible advice and signposting services to this lady but how on earth does giving money to this unvetted, total stranger on the internet differ from how Jack started out?

A while back Molly also posted a fundraiser for some follower to bring a bleeping stray cat back from abroad and I raised my eyebrows tbh because this is a person who already talks about her precarious financial situation/has an Amazon wishlist etc so why get a frigging cat? I wrote it off as a cat lover (Molly) being soft but now it’s happened twice - what is the point of writing about grifting and then amplifying lower level grift?! Giving on an individual basis does NOTHING. Find a charity or org which directly addresses these problems on a structural basis or you’re as bad as all the centrist twats funding Russ Jones and Supertanskii and Jack.

There’s a Russian doll effect with these internet beggars. There’s always someone waiting to take the place. I don’t know if any of you remember that “Hope Shiloh” who’s the one who coined in £5k from her “I can’t make my £20 budget stretch” tweet then deactivated, but there was some woman in the replies who’s also a prolific internet beggar saying “I only ask for it when I really need it”, and people replying sympathetically. Er, how about duck off, because you’re exactly the same?

Honestly, I’m fuming that Molly is either thick enough, or a grifter-in-waiting herself, to be using all of the material Tattle has spent years archiving to then perpetuate this fucked up dynamic of “boo hoo give me some money and duck anyone who doesn’t have the same grasp of emotive English or access to the internet to groom a sympathetic following all day because I matter more”.

duck it all. Fury.

Totally agree. I read the Gofundme and thought about sending something then thought no, how do I know this is true and this is exactly how JM works. Unfortunately JM has made me suspicious of what may well be very genuine cases.