Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[That Forensic Man]

@Brian Butterfield if Jack is to be believed these are called 'peppercorn rents'

 

[Amanda Lin]

Jack’s next little hovel flat in the Southend ends;

-1 bedroom (smol and sad)
-1 office (for 100hr week tweeting)
-1 reception room with chaise long for burger boi style romps
1- kitchen
1- Dining room ( slop prep HQ)
-1 lounge
-2 bathrooms (including en suite)
-1 lil orangery ( duck you Bobora)

So sad but it’s how the poorest poors live and there will be a chance to donate to an extension fund.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Is she following through with a christmas poo this year? Asking for a friend?

Sorry, Sticky Brown Poo is so 2021. This year it’s Festering Septic Wound, a fun dish with all the things kids just love to eat from sprouts to anchovies.

 

[Amanda Lin]

I totally get you. 100%.
i *despise* crowdfunders.
I laughed aloud; multiple times, at a comment on the sad lady’s page which said along the lines of ‘there’s something that’s a bit off about all of this and I don’t just mean the husbands legs’

I’m a bad person but those leg shots did not fill my day with cheer and good vibes.

 

[terfette]

Whenever anybody says grunking I get this song in my head. Just so people know.

 

[auntylil]

ah thank you, Goat. Do we know who he actually was?

As @DisgruntledGoat said, someone was a friend of a friend - apparently he worked in the city, not a little shop as Jacko had implied (I believe), that he was nice, polite and well hung sorry I made that bit up, well OFF. He was nicknamed Old Harold by the fraus, although OH also means Other Half in Wackoland. #confuseddotcom

I do wonder if new fraus visiting these threads think we're all lovey-dovey's when we call each other loving terms - for those who don't know, this came about because Mom (Nigella) replied to Jack with some utter drivel of the "luvvy" kind. Something like "plushy velvet one" (I could have made that up but you get the idea).

 

[GazpachoPolice]

What a pile of wank scentsy is.

I was just thinking the same and thanks to @auntylil and others for signposting.

 

[jenny2603]

Spoiler: On topic but will probably annoy mods

I’ve noticed that Molly and some of the regular squigs have been sending money to and promoting the woman who published the DMs with Jack and has posted a GoFundMe with the horrifying picture of her (alleged) husband’s gammy leg. I haven’t read her page but surely this is just the same tit but on a different scale? Write with great emotion about a crappy situation and watch the pounds roll in. Kudos to the people giving sensible advice and signposting services to this lady but how on earth does giving money to this unvetted, total stranger on the internet differ from how Jack started out?

A while back Molly also posted a fundraiser for some follower to bring a bleeping stray cat back from abroad and I raised my eyebrows tbh because this is a person who already talks about her precarious financial situation/has an Amazon wishlist etc so why get a frigging cat? I wrote it off as a cat lover (Molly) being soft but now it’s happened twice - what is the point of writing about grifting and then amplifying lower level grift?! Giving on an individual basis does NOTHING. Find a charity or org which directly addresses these problems on a structural basis or you’re as bad as all the centrist twats funding Russ Jones and Supertanskii and Jack.

There’s a Russian doll effect with these internet beggars. There’s always someone waiting to take the place. I don’t know if any of you remember that “Hope Shiloh” who’s the one who coined in £5k from her “I can’t make my £20 budget stretch” tweet then deactivated, but there was some woman in the replies who’s also a prolific internet beggar saying “I only ask for it when I really need it”, and people replying sympathetically. Er, how about duck off, because you’re exactly the same?

Honestly, I’m fuming that Molly is either thick enough, or a grifter-in-waiting herself, to be using all of the material Tattle has spent years archiving to then perpetuate this fucked up dynamic of “boo hoo give me some money and duck anyone who doesn’t have the same grasp of emotive English or access to the internet to groom a sympathetic following all day because I matter more”.

duck it all. Fury.

I know this is wrong but I was at how enraged Jack will be at someone who challenged her scooping the cashos. I'm very wary of this kind of crowdfunding for obvious reasons but honestly, this is one grift (if it is a grift) I'm happy to look the other way on.

 

[Amanda Lin]

I’m a bad person but those leg shots did not fill my day with cheer and good vibes.

I feel so awful for writing this post I m going to donate… she is also the squig that Jack treated appallingly and it seems like a challenging situation she has going on.

**editted to say grifting is morally wrong

 

[Lazarus]

Well I hope you’re all happy with yourselves. We’ve been reprimanded from the mods and even with 648 clues, I still can’t find Caroline or her hands. I’ll move on now.

 

[NellieBoo]

Mind you, Upstairs Neighbour Jack would be worse yet - can you imagine her a few centimetres above your ceiling, clattering around at 4am in her docs, jumping on and off bits of furniture, and co(o)king up a storm in the kitchen? Send earplugos.

Don't forget, dearheart, that although Jack doesn't know where she's going/doesn't know if she's got the property/will know 'soon'/in a few weeks. She does know that it has a bigger kitchen than the current hovel and has a door onto a courtyard/garden .

 

[tinklypom]

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but following home improvements, Council Tax bands will only be looked at again when the property is sold. So you can put a big extension on and your Council Tax band will remain the same for as long as you own the house.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jay Cloth Cow

Here: @Jay-cloth Cow

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Here: @Jay-cloth Cow

Chapeau, dear heart, and apologies JCC for neglecting your hyphen in my search x

 

[Smol Pixel]

Thank you dear heart, I've been thinking about how Jack managed to pull this all off and it's not without help.

 

[Hollaaa]

View attachment 1749872

Every bleeping Time you think her turn of phrase can't get more vomit-inducing it only goes and does.
Bit like the slop, innit.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Kitchen simp

 

[Brian Butterfield]

So far today I have seen Jack active on three separate Twitter socks. Sure there's more.

Truly living a life beyond her wildest dreams.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Twitter wimp

 

[zetta buttons]

So far today I have seen Jack active on three separate Twitter socks. Sure there's more.

Truly living a life beyond her wildest dreams.

I’ve watched Ancient Apocalypse. I’m living a life beyond my wildest dreams.



(Netflix really are scraping the barrel with this guy)