Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

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If I was performing at a festival, I'd want my own loos. And would I duck let Billy Bragg in them. #TeamManics
 
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He asked her if she was ok?

He was probably thinking i have just shut up shop, i hope she doesnt want anything. ' are you ok?' *Please go away*
I just know that Jack is the one of those people that when you meet or speak to them you repeat over and over in your head 'Don't ask how they are. Don't ask how they are. Do NOT ask how they are'.
 
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You may be onto something here...
I’ve never forgiven him for the popcorn ice cream he did for Waitrose that had the texture of literal sand and grit. It remains the worst thing I’ve ever had to choke down at a friend’s house.

Therefore I am firmly convinced Heston is Jack for posh people and without the grift.
 
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Archived because lmao
This actually looks much worse on the guardian because not only was she writing dross she was being a complete prick to the commenters, some of which are extremely valid and fair
Jack flying off the handle about the metaphor 'firefighting' being an excellent one


ETA she really is thick as dogshit
I'm still baffled by the "I'm a well educated young woman" comment, but you're just not though? Nothing wrong with 'only' having GCSEs, but to call her out here makes you look like a twit, she know's what she's doing
I mean what a tit to be paroling the comments section tho.
 
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My mother would laugh about such things. Hilarious little anecdotes about 'I said I'd wash his mouth out with soap and water - and I did!' she bleeping waterboarded him with fairy liquid and sink water until he nearly suffocated/drowned in foam and water. 'I told him not to steal food and just - oh, so funny - I went to tap his hand but forgot I was holding the carving knife at the time!'he needed stitches 'I told her that if she was a bully and pushed him, I'd let her know what being pushed around was really like!' down the bleeping stairs 'Oh, it was so funny to see her smug face after I'd said my piece!' she hissed at the right year old next door that she was going to burn her Mummy's house down because she'd complained to the council about the state of the rubbish piled up against their fence.

She laughed all the way to my brother being put on the At Risk Register and her being threatened with eviction. And then, obviously, became the pawr ickle victim of domestic violence and defenceless ickle old lady who couldn't cope with keeping the garden tidy. A way of life for decades - decades that left a trail of abused children behind her. But oh, those stories were so funny - as though her laughing meant they couldn't possibly be admissions of violent abuse or veiled threats of further violence towards you because hey, she's got away with all those other things, what makes you think that anybody would ever believe you when she'll just give a tinkly little laugh and tell them that it's actually a really funny story?


bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep.
Oh my darling...😢💔
 
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I think it may have been the fact she hasnt changed in like 4 days. I dont believe for a second she had spare undercrackers. And then decided to wear the same ensemble to an awards cermomy and then probably after his protests, ' of wouldnt you rather wear something else pet' she proclaimed like a manic pixie the bedsheet. I think he nopped all the way home.
Is there any evidence that Harold was on the train?

The performative Achey shoulder because of the long train journey to me suggests Jack hinting, wouldn't it be fun to fly back business class, ha ha ha, I SAID wouldn't it be fun to fly home business class. (Pause) ostentatiously rotates shoulder and softly gently winces. Do you have any paracetamol? No, no, I will be alright, It's only an eight hour journey. I am sure I will cope.

Harold, in the style of a 1960s investigative reporter, makes his excuses and leaves. Dumped by phone shortly afterwards.
 
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Someone explain to me because I don’t understand. She went to grammar school, not some massively expensive private school.
Entry was by exam and yet her and her brother are the only ‘poor’ children to have made their way in? Yes?

Everyone there, bar them was massively wealthy? So she couldn’t be friends with them.

We have a family member who is sending their child to a very expensive city private school. They are not wealthy and have normal jobs. There seems to be no judgment at all and child has friends.
Friend teaches at an incredibly expensive school and lots of children there on scholarship. Why did Jack go to the only school in the world with only rich families?
Yes, have have younger half-siblings via one of my father's subsequent marriage who - unlike those of us from the earlier marriage - went to private school. They never had a problem finding friends amongst their much more well-off fellow pupils. Actual grammar schools are between that and Bash Street, so this supposed scenario of JM and her brother being supposedly ostracised for being "poor" doesn't ring true, unless it was self-inflicted.
 
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I mean what a tit to be paroling the comments section tho.
A lot of Guardian writers, too, mostly in the food and sport sections - it was kind of a selling point at the time I guess. Some of them were generally polite (Felicity Cloake springs to mind), but but others were very thin-skinned and would get extremely defensive. Jay Rayner was particularly bad. No wonder he and Jack are buddies.
 
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Missed the whole chaos of the other night and what made the huffy madam deactivate her account - for the umteenth time - but just wanted to gently sidle up to @Bugger13 & @Ooointitot to congratulate them on the hilarious thread title - brilliant! 😂😂😂
 
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spoilering as sensitive
I swear back in the early days of these threads (I’ve been grunkaing along since 2020) there was talk of Jack’s brother once calling her out - maybe on twitter or Facebook? - when she talked about CSA, maybe implying committed by one of the foster children her parents looked after? This is all lost to sands of time but wonder if any veteran Fraus remember this?

on another note, I’ve sometimes seen people mention Jack having another blog in the early 2010s when she was getting (in)famous where she pretended to be someone living in a tower block? Does anyone have any more info on that?
No idea about the other blog. I've seen reference to Twitter comments by the brother but if they existed, they've gone now. What I do have a receipt for is Jack giggling about how her brother worries about his mates "jacking off" to her picture in the paper.



From 21:58 minutes in.


:sick:
 
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Her facial expression there makes me want to go for a swim in Dettol.
 
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