Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

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Pocahontas

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Thank you to @Lumpyspaceprincess and an unknown second frau for the thread title. You both win a Harvester mixed grill with salad bar option, so step forward to claim your prize.

The last thread closed with Jack waxing lyrical over the joys of a large mixed doner with all the trimmings when sober. She’s just Jack, with extra chillies on the side, waiting for someone to snog her. Wild!

Jack Monroe #423 The only TV show Jack Monroe needs to be on is Crimewatch

From the vegan yorkies recipe: that word doesn’t mean what you think it means, Jack… Why do the publishers never sub edit her ramblings?
tattle.life

Several Jack thread members have foolishly accepted the poisoned chalice of the chance to make one of Jack’s recipes, in honour of her imminent book release (Thrifty Kitchen). A thread has been made for any further posts.

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

A thread to document and discuss the challenges and chaos of making one of Jack Monroe’s many ‘recipes’.
tattle.life

Please say ‘thread title’ when nominating one and please let me sleep without thinking of Pepsi-burped ‘snogging’ (and please add to the recap!)
 
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That Forensic Man

I believe I included them in with the other similar containers, felt like I was being very generous at £5 each when I recently saw some of the tall ones in Tesco for £18 each, but your price ties up with what I had. Still probably being generous and I don't believe she'd find that many in charity shops matching, she's just lying.
£305 61x (at least) high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads) £5 ea. but go up to £20 ea.
 
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HotesTilaire

Oh I think I made the comment about Wills, what’s that Poca? I’ve won a harvester? Oh no, actually it wasn’t me now I think about it.
I see she’s advertising her empty life and moribund personality on the ‘gram.
 
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hoopdedoo

Looking at the prices for tinned goods that were quoted in the previous thread and comparing them to the prices here.....LJC. The tinned tomatoes that Jack recommends must be one little tomato all by its lonesome in a ton of juice. No wonder her recipes involving tomatoes are so sloptastic.
 
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LittleMissMuffet

I know everyone has moved on slightly (and I’ve just caught up to the slop along and I’ve got fomo because I’m on permagrunk) but that patreon “apology” - I’d expect something that mediocre had it been 6 maybe 8 months but IT WAS TWO YEARS. For two years she has been happily collecting with no remorse. To then play it down as a “small” regular income. Fuck me.
 
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N

NeoCortex

Did anyone ever tell Jack that you can buy haricot beans in water rather than tomato sauce right?
 
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Moneypenny’sfreedom

Just occurred to me, if she was taking 7 GCSE subjects in year 10, it is very unusual not to sit those subjects and questions would be asked unless she didn’t complete the compulsory part of the coursework.

For some subjects like the old AQA English lit and lang and SEG Maths, you had to complete coursework or your exam entry wouldn’t happen. It also wasn’t the decision of the school it was the examination board rules. In April/May English teachers would be very sleep deprivedthe coursework would be compiled, final marks given and then the HOD would submit paperwork to the exam board including any students who hadn’t completed coursework and quite simply the exam paper wasn’t sent for that student.

It is worth noting that different exam boards had different rules but no coursework = no exam entry was fairly standard ( am fairly sure R.E also had a coursework component). The school would also have had a good idea of her prospective grades from her coursework, plus it depends which papers for Science, Maths she was entered for, whether it was the foundation or higher papers. There was a middle paper for Maths which had the highest grade boundary of a C.

I know some schools did massage their figures, but as a previous frau pointed out, Jack would have been a serious hit in their stats anyway. From what she said, the school only entered her for 4.5 exams so they knew before she even put her name on an exam she would adversely effect their stats. She did not achieve the benchmark 5 grade A-C results which was the crude method of ranking schools in the league tables, so the massaging of figures and other excuses make 0 sense.

My money is on not producing coursework therefore not eligible to take the exam as the most plausible explanation.
 
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OwlChampagne

I didn't find much in the vegetarian prune-based recipe search so instead I'm going to go for bread, bean, and fennel stew:


I can't seem to find how to edit the Wiki, I'll have another look in the morning.
 
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AyiaKnacker

It looks like all the slopalong places have been taken. Oh no. How sad. I’ll just hold your hair back the coats, yeah?
 
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definitelynotvlad

Coming over from the last thread to say I’ll join the slop along, and in honour of my newborn son I’ll have a go at afterbirth oats if not already taken xoxo

ETA: just seen someone has beaten me to it (can’t believe we live in a world where more than one of us is willing to make a jackslop), will choose another when I’ve had more sleepos.
 
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FlirtyThirty

As a tragic original kickstarter frau I still have my crappy copy of whichever one that was I’ll look through it tomorrow to make myself even more sad as will be back from me holidays. On the bright side I might find something that will violently unseal my cringed up bum after watching piano Jack!
 
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Smol Pixel

Jack Monroe #423 The only TV show Jack Monroe needs to be on is Crimewatch

So let me get this straight. Her epic lemon curd and mixed berry porridge is: Oatmeal (or other hot cereal grain or mix) with some lemon curd swirled in, plopped hot on frozen berries. That's the fucking genius of food that everyone is yarping about? No one could think of hot cereal + frozen...
tattle.life
Bringing this back from the last thread to say “slightly superior” homemade baked bean sauce is my aneurysm.
 
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W

Whaa?

I have seen two different ads for Thrifty Kitchen. On one there are endorsements from Nigella and Jay Rayner, on others only Nigella. I wonder if Jay said NO.

Jacks pinned post features a cover with both quotes, as does Pan Macmillans website. Click through the 'pre-order' link to Amazon and Waterstones and the book cover has Nigella claiming Jack is a force for good in the world, not Jay enthusing about her brilliant and enticing recipes. .

eta Jack has pictured the actual book on her shelf, so time will tell if its a change on the cover that goes on sale.
 
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Onestorytoomany

Who actually calls it snogging over the age of about 16. Why does the think anyone wants to know that she is snogging and is she really trying to say she has struggled with booze from her very first snog, EVER?!

I was 10 when i had my first kiss/ snog. It was terrible, I didnt get into anything else till i was alot older though!
 
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Geetbo

I wonder if she will make a triumphant return to This Morning to promote Grifty Kitchen?

If so, they should invite Eamonn back to guest host for one episode only.
 
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Smol Pixel

Just to add to the recap that Jack has been on the school run for approx 48 hours now. Who knows when she will return.
 
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zetta buttons

I think the sadder thing is the stark contrast between her Instagram behaviour/posting and her Twitter persona.

Something is definitely going on with her constantly posting these insta quotes/my life is fabulous/eating a kebab/breadcrumbing whilst on Twitter she is (or at least she thinks she is) cleaning up her mistakes and promoting her shit new book.

The cynic in me looks elsewhere on Instagram for answers and potentially finds them, the person who keeps falling for her crap thinks she is not well and Instagram is a true reflection of what is going on and Twitter is her bravado.

I’ll always keeping feeling sorry for her. It’s my Achilles heel and my Achilles are fucked.
 
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FlirtyThirty

It’s not an Achilles heel to have a dear heart, dear heart. She gets a lot of us like that but I’m not sure she deserves it or if any of what she claims is real.
 
Reactions: 44
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