Jack Monroe #422 Is there no beginning to her talents?

[Jelly Bean]

Thanks to dear hearts @MrsFawlty and @Geetbo for thread title suggestion and nomination. Your prizes are Pumble flavoured Viennetas. Go well pals.

Yes Jack has now made Vienneta her thing. Quirky smol pixie that she is. She went to Asda and there was an hilarious anecdote about a Schrodinger's Mint Vienneta which was simultaneously there and not there.
She also has made a rare foray into Patreon. To address concerns and fulfil obligations sneaky delete any dissent.
Her post about her son's private medical history still there.
Her flying monkeys still vilely attacking people with Jack failing to stop it.
Oh and she gave herself some flowers

 

[Geetbo]

I feel like Meryl Streep.

I wonder what exciting new flavours Jack will “remember” today. The anticipation is killing me.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Previous thread here, tender candy corn heads.

Jack Monroe #421 Why do you need a lottery win, you’ve got Patreon?

Toot toot, batten down the hatches; a chaos may be brewing. Well done dear heart @Geetbo for winning the thread title with a Squig quote. You win a Tory as a friend. Fingers crossed it's the haunted coatrack, handy! Right, so Jack is back and being a overly namaste guru or snarky mare on...

tattle.life

 

[Mme Coco]

Ding ding ding!
The squig who is taking no prisoners on the bird app has her number. Pure speculation m’lud, but crack cocaine is a helluva drug. You can add lip ouchies to the circumstantial pile too.

 

[Wooh]

Jack Monroe #421 Why do you need a lottery win, you’ve got Patreon?

This just popped up on my YouTube subscriptions. Has Vlad infiltrated there as well?

tattle.life

@MancBee who cares if the thread has/had moved on? Jack's still talking about poverty from a decade ago!

Anyway, Viennetta can jump in a lake. Viennetta is to dessert what Jack is to punksteam.

The true hero of 80s dessert is and will always be

https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/choc-ripple-cake/ec490c9f-2a0e-40ea-b741-0606d08a5947

Though raspberries were unheard of back in the day. My mother used sardines as a topping, obviously

 

[Droosie123]

Loving our purple hats.
Jack is still a witch but not a decent one as she just takes and takes. Plus she lies and lies, one of her lies is even ABOUT lies. She cannot lie m’lord….honest.

 

[moldwarp]

Aw that tweet about the ouchy lip reminds me of the Jack era of cut feet and glittery black eyes. That was….a weird era.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Ooh I look dashing in my hat, if I may say so.
Some squigs are really losing patience with her over there on the bird site. Does she really think she can get away with ignoring it all while tweeting banal tit about 80’s desserts? Of course she does, she’s Jack.

 

[Lazarus]

Jack Monroe #421 Why do you need a lottery win, you’ve got Patreon?

Congratulations @definitelynotvlad I love the term Mini Ninny :love: im not sure if it’ll be easier for you to keep up now, or harder.

tattle.life

Valli’s post here - I think from this photo until now, she’s had her teeth whitened.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Thanks to dear hearts @MrsFawlty and @Geetbo for thread title suggestion and nomination. Your prizes are Pumble flavoured Viennetas. Go well pals.

Yes Jack has now made Vienneta her thing. Quirky smol pixie that she is. She went to Asda and there was an hilarious anecdote about a Schrodinger's Mint Vienneta which was simultaneously there and not there.
She also has made a rare foray into Patreon. To address concerns and fulfil obligations sneaky delete any dissent.
Her post about her son's private medical history still there.
Her flying monkeys still vilely attacking people with Jack failing to stop it.
Oh and she gave herself some flowers

I mean I know she is, but her actions reviewed this way makes her look so flippin unhinged.

 

[Captainmouse]

Thanks to dear hearts @MrsFawlty and @Geetbo for thread title suggestion and nomination. Your prizes are Pumble flavoured Viennetas. Go well pals.

Yes Jack has now made Vienneta her thing. Quirky smol pixie that she is. She went to Asda and there was an hilarious anecdote about a Schrodinger's Mint Vienneta which was simultaneously there and not there.
She also has made a rare foray into Patreon. To address concerns and fulfil obligations sneaky delete any dissent.
Her post about her son's private medical history still there.
Her flying monkeys still vilely attacking people with Jack failing to stop it.
Oh and she gave herself some flowers

No money for soap or light, but flowers

 

[Lazarus]

Where did @CarolineWhoHasHands go?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Woke up last night due to a window related chaos so naturally started snooping on Twitter. Quite a few creators were @Ing @patreon_support with issues of their payouts - naturally I thought of the smol pixie not being able to obtain her ill gotten gains so had a Google…

https://support.patreon.com/hc/en-us/articles/115004029783-Set-up-my-payout-information#:~:text=Depending%20on%20your%20selected%20currency,account,%20Payoneer,%20or%20PayPal

.

So looking at the above documentation, my interpretation of this for creators in the UK:
* you achieve a positive balance in Patreon on Patreon payday
* you can withdraw that positive balance to PayPal or your bank account by logging in once you have +ve balance, so she can “get paid” on the first of the month if she’s proactive about it. Can’t imagine this not to be true so she’s logging into the account at least once a month, but choosing to ignore any questions or do any work in there? Wild.
* if you have payout details added to your account and you’ve not withdrawn on payday or the few days following, on the 5th day of ur +ve balance they’ll automatically transfer it to you.

IMO the massively significant thing here is the ability to get paid out via PayPal……….. she can’t be paying tax on diddly. It’ll come in and go out, she probably transfers across rent etc hence that 94% of her income goes on fixed overheads - yeah I bleeping bet it does hun the rest never hits the banks does it!

Ps Patreon payday starts Tuesday with full results in Wednesday

 

[diva.wps]

I look like I’m stopping the hat from going on my head. Gerroff, me hair is done, noooo!
I was reading another (different) forum post about JM yesterday with the thread title JM is ace or similar. It was interesting to read the slow realisation, over several months, that she is not ace, but a bit of a wrong ‘un.

 

[zetta buttons]

Obviously Jack is being a twit at the moment by tweeting about folded ice cream and ignoring important questions about Teemill and patreon but I think there are other things that cannot be overlooked.

Spoiler: MH Depression and ED

She frequently pipes up (particularly when she claims that she is suffering from “bone-crushing” depression) that she cannot eat/has lost a certain amount of weight/is a shadow of her former self. She did claim a few days ago that she was in a “depression-dive in her duvet” yet the tweets below suggest her appetite is just fine. I am not going to criticise her for eating a whole folded ice cream because many of us eat like that (for a multitude of reasons- or for no reason- it’s just the way we eat ).


What I am calling out is her saying at a later date that late October/early November was a time of great turmoil (i.e depression and not eating) when in fact she was eating just fine.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

If she wants searches to trend away from her SEVERE bad behavior around the grifting and other things, she needs do better. Vienetta doesn’t sound or isn’t spelled anything remotely like anything she’s trying to bury.

Jack, here’s a handy help sheet for you. Tweet fatuous crap about any of the below incessantly for 48 hours instead of tit ice cream desserts that aren’t doing what you’re trying to do.

For Teemill, replace with musings on Cecil B DeMille
For Patreon talk a lot about how you’re going to put a film on (an 1980s classic at that) and Play Tron
For Grifter, reminisce about how in the snow , the council sends out a Gritter
For Lies, replace with lots of talk about Lines

Actually the last two might not work.
Best to just stick with the founding father of American cinema, Freemason and celebrated maker of 70 films. You can look him up in the same place as you’re finding your Vienetta info; be sure to ignore most of it though so you can spout your usual ill informed nonsense.

 

[Katkat]

Look at the likes on these. Softly, gently she’s being cancelled

 

[Clovis]

I must've missed the part where the Patreon dissent had been sneakily deleted (I thought I was being painstakingly forensic in my morning grunk at a granular level, but I'm human, alright pal. Do you want me to stop BREATHING? I do all this for FREE, you mithering nefarious ninny!)

So does that mean Jack now has access to the Patreon account? Are squigs finally going to receive their Shithouse Onion postcards?

 

[DavidZero]

I still don’t understand why she doesn’t just fulfil her Patreon obligations. It doesn’t seem that hard, she could do it in an afternoon.
Or maybe she’s just had a complete mental breakdown and isn’t functioning anymore?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Where did @CarolineWhoHasHands go?

SHE LEFT