Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can

[Valiofthedolls]

So I went looking to see how much those Viv (RIP) trousers she wore with Alan Carr were. I didn’t find those, but I did find this... her pyjama-looking pants are VIV (RIP)!

Long and I know some fraus don’t like stock taking stuff so can skip.

Spoiler: Stocktake Spoiler

So you know those too short check trousers she’s so enamored of, she posted about them again recently? These bad boys?

Vivienne Westwood Red Label 2014. About £450ish plus. Obviously still has them cos posted about them again really recently.

Another investment piece she could have sold in 2017,2020, 2022 and all times in between when she’s been in dire straits and rattled the tip jar. (Especially since she probably got them at the magical Viv thrift store so could make a massive profit)

PS Wonder if she got the jacket at the thrift store too?!

 

[ForgettyBetty]

So which is it? Answering like she doesn't really know or care while skipping through a field of daisies.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

You will see my personal favourite from the wallpaper - mention of patreon and vistaprint, in yellow circle.

And a new one, circled in green “put comedy act in diary”?...

View attachment 1646651

I am also now concerned that “Fox Painting” was some sort of retaliation for the garden hose incident

ETA I think that yellow bit to the right of it says something about Dominic Cummings?! Yet another hot take, no doubt

 

[ForgettyBetty]

I am also now concerned that “Fox Painting” was some sort of retaliation for the garden hose incident
View attachment 1646666
ETA I think that yellow bit to the right of it says something about Dominic Cummings?!

"Fox painting- buy petrol for Anna"

 

[Valiofthedolls]

And a new one, circled in green “put comedy act in diary”?...

View attachment 1646651

She’s Completed it, mate.

Spoiler: ”Put Comedy Act In Diary”

 

[Justacatindisguise]

So which is it? Answering like she doesn't really know or care while skipping through a field of daisies.

Which book was £6 on amazon?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Which book was £6 on amazon?

Which book was £6 on amazon?

Bootstrap.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

@That Forensic Man sorry to bother you, is the Burberry scarf on your list? Dear heart switcherstreetz has an illustration in her avatar, of the hose-eating fox modelling it.
Jack put out a tweet that a secret, 7nnamed but very good friend had lost the Burberry scarf Jack had gifted to her, somewhere near the Channel 4 offices in London. The only other clue we had is that it was monogrammed with the initials LJC....

Is this another Burberry scarf? It looks like a much lighter weight than her usual one.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

So I went looking to see how much those Viv (RIP) trousers she wore with Alan Carr were. I didn’t find those, but I did find this... her pyjama-looking pants are VIV (RIP)!

Long and I know some fraus don’t like stock taking stuff so can skip.

Spoiler: Stocktake Spoiler

So you know those too short check trousers she’s so enamored of, she posted about them again recently? These bad boys?
View attachment 1646636View attachment 1646637

Vivienne Westwood Red Label 2014. About £450ish plus. Obviously still has them cos posted about them again really recently.
View attachment 1646647
Another investment piece she could have sold in 2017,2020, 2022 and all times in between when she’s been in dire straits and rattled the tip jar. (Especially since she probably got them at the magical Viv thrift store so could make a massive profit)

View attachment 1646646


PS Wonder if she got the jacket at the thrift store too?!
View attachment 1646648

From earlier this year. They’re so bloody warm. Shame she didn’t have them during the poverty when she was freezing cold for TWO YEARS.

Also, why does she appear to have an ankle monitor around her ankle? Is it something to do with hate crimes against food?

Is this another Burberry scarf? It looks like a much lighter weight than her usual one.

Yep, she had/has more than one. Her and LJC had matching wool ones and she also had that lighter weight one.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

You couldn't make it up.

 

[jenny2603]

This squig has had enough. He saw the facts and SNAPPED.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

View attachment 1646721

This squig has had enough. He saw the facts and SNAPPED.

“My thinking has been clouded by facts”.
Definitely nicking that one.

Also Stop waving on Twitter. It makes you look desperate for you know what…

 

[Tabitha D]

For the newbie ninnies, you may or may not have seen this...I'm still having a dig around to 🔺️ some of her stuff for the epic list c/o @That Forensic Man
Enjoy and I'll be back in a bit xxx hopefully with some goodies x

God this was awful. Jack was convinced she was “baby Nigella” (she actually said this) and about to make millions. The ego. The grandiosity. If you’ve heard of imposter syndrome - well, this was the very opposite of that.
Whereas, if she had the slightest bit of self-awareness, she would have seen that this was the beginning of the end of her atrocious excuse for a career.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Brandon Ethridge takes requests.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Aside from the droopy old vest, it's the nylon old lady/period pants, the arse-smaller-than-muffin-top usually achieved in your 50-60s, the scrawny thighs ditto, and the gritted teeth like she's about to fall off and soil herself. It's really not appealing, (not body shaming, I'm a dumpling on a stick these days - but I think most people would choose a more flattering look for their shape )

No idea what was going on there, surely she must have had something decent she could have posed in? What made her think that a sagging grey sports bra and control pants would be alluring? Maybe LJC has unusual tastes idk . The whole photo session definitely suggested a cold and blizzardy night, when you look back now.

Spoiler: 🤷‍♀️

 

[HotesTilaire]

No idea what was going on there, surely she must have had something decent she could have posed in? What made her think that a sagging grey sports bra and control pants would be alluring? Maybe LJC has unusual tastes idk . The whole photo session definitely suggested a cold and blizzardy night, when you look back now.

Spoiler: 🤷‍♀️

View attachment 1646734

I’ve said it before, that’s not her bra top. I’m convinced it’s Weezer’s. she did say on thread 31 that the bra was terrible. And the control underskirt!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

More Vivienne Westwood Clothing Mither: Textiles and fashion peeps needed

Spoiler: More Westwood

I still haven’t found the Alan Carr trousers, but I have found more Viv.
From this that @LadyGarden found the other day

That jogged my memory for this. I am pretty sure that this is a Viv shirt, probably Anglomania. You know how literal ol sloppy is, she prob thought it hillarrrrrious to wear an eyepatch and a Viv pirate shirt. Her and big Dave were probably crying with laughter at just the thought.

Spoiler: Similar style here

This is done up a bit more, but there are lots of similar styles of these shirts

Not sure of original retail in UK. Resale is couple of hundred $$ here.

Trousers: These top ones below are the Alan Carr pic trousers that I haven’t yet found. She CONFIRMED in the post Lady G found that these are Viv. But she also posted another pair of trousers the same day here when she was going to “a big gay awards do” where her clothes “came screaming out of the closet”

.

I
i thought these below looked very Viv, and spoiler: they are!

Here’s that esame plaid in a matching waistcoat in fact

So that’s CONFIRMED 3 pairs of Viv pants (these two and the cropped ones). These are the same plaid though not quite the same style and around £600+ new. This plaid is from a different Viv line from the earlier tartan Red ones, so more ££

Plus at least one Viv ruffled shirt.

Can any textile or fashion fraus add any more details re cost and styles?

PS That Viv thrift store must be MASSIVE

 

[sleepingsatellite]

So I went looking to see how much those Viv (RIP) trousers she wore with Alan Carr were. I didn’t find those, but I did find this... her pyjama-looking pants are VIV (RIP)!

Long and I know some fraus don’t like stock taking stuff so can skip.

Spoiler: Stocktake Spoiler

So you know those too short check trousers she’s so enamored of, she posted about them again recently? These bad boys?
View attachment 1646636View attachment 1646637

Vivienne Westwood Red Label 2014. About £450ish plus. Obviously still has them cos posted about them again really recently.
View attachment 1646647
Another investment piece she could have sold in 2017,2020, 2022 and all times in between when she’s been in dire straits and rattled the tip jar. (Especially since she probably got them at the magical Viv thrift store so could make a massive profit)

View attachment 1646646


PS Wonder if she got the jacket at the thrift store too?!
View attachment 1646648

Totally off topic but the why the RIP reference for Vivienne Westwood?

 

[That Forensic Man]

Easier to read but also and more importantly easier to identify a trend or a spending preference/pattern.
ETA kudos on being able to make any kind of spreadsheet let alone the amazing work being done tracking her fraud. It elevates it all into something legitimate and not just bitching about a poverty chef. It shows very clearly all her lies and double-dealing. Thankspaceyou for all that all if you forensic analytical ninnies do.

Let's try this categorised version, if this looks good I'll make the latest updates of which there are many

Spoiler: big spenny list, categorised

Clothes
110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
75 Sweaty Betty leggings
300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
116 Instagram look
49 Ted Baker pyjamas
4.99 jolly warehouse skirt
12 'limited edition' vest
3 Asda Cream Gratitude Slogan Sweatshirt (kids)
110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
12 2x dylon machine dye

Jackets
5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
250 all saints leather jacket

Accessories
780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
795 mulberry elkington oak bag
14 replacement oliver bonas strap
249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
60 cath kidston rucksack
300 3x wigs
119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)

Shoes
150 Dr Martens boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
120 Dr Martens willow edition boots
120 Dr Martens red boots
158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
100 magnum boots
895 Jimmy Choo ren sandals blue 2016
750 Christian Louboutin Audrey Strappy Glitter Sandal
85 leather converse

Jewellery
1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
265 Pandora bracelet with at least 7 charms (£55 bracelet + 7x £30)

Watches
600 omega seamaster watch (replica?)
130 Finn watch
150 Garmin watch
199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)

Cosmetics
800 77x Lipsticks
200 14x Foundations
250 40x Eyeliners
500 misc makeup
900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years)
150 Penhaligons fragrance

Furniture
400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit
1,350 Hopkins SPITE SOFA (designers guild florence 2 seater)
535 custom captain's chair
400 John Lewis hammock
400 John Lewis egg chair

Kitchen
250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
104 rusty eBay spoons
80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
300 kitchen aid
400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
2,000 cooker
45 Bialetti moka color blue 6 cup
45 Bialetti moka express silver 6 cup
135 Global Classic knife
300 Blok knife (Observer Food Award)
300 Mcusta Zanmai supreme ripple knife
70 nutribullet 600
1,050 3x chest freezers
70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
60 Rock tumbler

Electronics
60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
80 Nokia 3310
40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
549 55" TV
120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
199 Airpods
249 Airpods pro
300 dyson hairdryer
110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
640 6x DAB radios
199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
499 Dyson fan
1,200 iMac desktop
1,000 macbook pro
1,000 other laptop
79 apple mouse
1,500 3x phones
249 1x tablet
100 2x microphones
100 3x sets of headphones
60 3x backup batteries
140 4x studio lights (ESDDI)
45 3x extension leads
30 1x pivot stand
539 1x canon 700D as backup

Work
1,000 unread books (estimate)
543 32x copies of cooking on a bootstrap (kickstarter version) just sat there
15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
525 35x moleskin notebooks
44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
70 folding table
150 5x hastily installed curtains
4 1x actual tin can (eBay)
25 wooden calculator (unused)
60 12x derwent colorsoft pencils

Home adornments
428 fancy knobs
72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well
35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
65 test tube vases
300 sentient mirror
60 Lego flower bouquet
100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
2,000 438x baubles
28 John Lewis llama doorstop
18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
10 squid game guard mask from the market
60 squatty potty
95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
30 flamingo neon light

Garden
420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
150 wire racking (kept outside)
75 magnolia tree
80 2x summit camping stove (shed)

Exercise equipment
1,199 water rower
400 bike (estimate)
400 bike given to someone's who was stolen (estimate)

Pets
2,200 content
150 puppy grooming package (£25 x 1pm x 6mo)
700 Vets bills

Travel
250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
360 cafe 3x weekly for 6 months (£5 x 3pw x 6mo)
20 Sad Asda shop

Total £81,823 (no change)

Long and I know some fraus don’t like stock taking stuff so can skip.

I spoiler due to length but really don't see the issue people would have with us demonstrating Jack has spunked the equivalent of a deposit for knocking on for an actual 2 bed flat or house in the Southend area on STUFF, and all that implies

@That Forensic Man sorry to bother you, is the Burberry scarf on your list? Dear heart switcherstreetz has an illustration in her avatar, of the hose-eating fox modelling it.
Jack put out a tweet that a secret, 7nnamed but very good friend had lost the Burberry scarf Jack had gifted to her, somewhere near the Channel 4 offices in London. The only other clue we had is that it was monogrammed with the initials LJC....

Yes dear heart:
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
Soon to be updated with a third

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Totally off topic but the why the RIP reference for Vivienne Westwood?

Jack seemed to be under the impression that Viv was dead. Here you go- from the Wiki

Ok crazy kids, I need to be LEFT. Before I go, here are the original pics of the desk again courtesy of @Silver Linings. It’s massive

Spoiler: There may be other gems herein

Also, do you think “put away envelopes and count” means counting the envelopes and putting them away, or as it sounds, means putting the envelopes away and then walking off going 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 etc etc? It’s very unclear, Jack.

Also why was Lovely John getting lions sent to him?! What had he done?!