Jack Monroe #412 Chiz on Tiz

[Justacatindisguise]

Wh

what about the trips to the lemon groves in Cyprus etc?

And they've been taking the younger ones to the same hotel in Cyprus for 4 weeks every year since 2012 but couldn't buy Jack some jam...

 

[Awful]

That sock account disappearing has ended me. Send doggos. Or potatoes. Just not dire ones.

 

[AnnRKey]

Fixed her Twitter header...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Yeah, not nearly as many as there used to be though, pal.

Here are your Guardian bylines again. You’ve had fewer in 2016-2022 combined than you had in 2015 or in 2014 alone. And they love you over there! (Or at least they used to. Oopsie! )

2022 3 (so far)
2021 1
2020 4
2019 7
2018 3
2017 2
2016 5 (two of these are her putting the ‘I’ in ‘I, Daniel Blake’)
2015 26
2014 55
2013 24 (starting in late July)

Anyway, Go well, and have a lovely evening. x

 

[Brian Butterfield]

 

[Bugger13]

I know there may have been a glitch in likes (hasn’t done anything to mine) but the appalling singing is in Jack’s. Even with pity likes (which I suspect 95% were) & hard of hearing pensioners being a bit confused (the other 5% I suspect) it didn’t even get 0.0002% likes from her followers. There’s some maths for you Jack.

 

[Snotbuster]

I bet Jack is sad she can’t use her big platform to claim that hours of gentle, behind-the-scenes personal toil was behind this initiative…

Because working behind the scenes, as a power broker of sorts, requires power. Which Jack don't got. Jack got noise, only. Not reason. Not authority. Not coordinated effort. Nothing but noise.

So when Jack is quiet, we know she isn't doing a thing.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Call me crazy, but I think this update means the VBI is going to happen. I literally can’t wait. She’s basically going to produce some kind of excel sheet of 200 items, showing how much they’ve gone up in price over 10 years. There’ll be no mention of the Poverty Tour or of all the receipts sent in and it’s going to be no different to what can be found on a dozen other sites or what journalists do all the time. She’ll announce it in some look at me fashion, this has taken me so long, look at my workings out, food for poor people has gone up 344 per cent and it’s going to be a load of old tit and we are all going to laugh our collective lungs up. Hurry up Jack!!

She's going to try and brazen all this out isn't she? That's what I'm taking from the defiance in that bio. Wouldn’t be surprised if she's going to try and reveal ~something~ in terms of the VBI, as a gotcha to everyone and to try and show that she is very important and does important fings. It'll be tit and hilarious

 

[Valiofthedolls]

When you Google her name, Google still has the cached tweet she made asking her monkeys to report the parody account. That means the first you thing you see on Google is "Twitter" followed by a screenshot of the handle of the parody account. It's hilariously misleading.

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I’m assuming she’s pretty up to date on the grunk and this alert from @Tin Can Crook is exactly why she’s back and titting around with her bio to (ironically) make her look even more of a tit.

Hi Jack when are you going to publish the pancake recipe? Also, can we please have a lovely picture of doggo after the groomers yesterday, perhaps standing in front of some more of your awards? Finally, it might be nice if you provided that Patreon update you promised your Patrons in the first week of September.

Ooh! Can you please also send us a sign of what those things on the dinner plate between the whitish stuff and the brown stuff are? Perhaps call your next performative pov blog post ‘Roast Potatoes’, ‘Baby Carrots’, ‘Overcooked Vegan Sausages’ or whatever they are. We’ll know.

Thank(space)you for all that you do! Love you loads! XOXO Gossip Girl Vali Dolls xxxxx

 

[Cookiecookie]

I actually saw someone mention the VBI on the Reddit Australia page today We have enough of our own dumb financial fuckery going on without adding Jack's nonsense to it!

 

[NellieBoo]

I’m guessing we’ll get a LIVING A LIFE BEYIND MY WILDEST DREAMS quickly followed by LEAVE ME ALONE before the day is out.

Excited.

(TOOT TOOT)

Please let this be true. Leave Me Alone Jack is my favourite. This sounds like the perfect combination. TOOT bleeping TOOT.

 

[StringyMango]

duck I'd forgotten the Tom Waits bog song. Now I can laugh at it all over again. Time flies in the Jackiverse.

 

[jenny2603]

She's going to try and brazen all this out isn't she? That's what I'm taking from the defiance in that bio. Wouldn’t be surprised if she's going to try and reveal ~something~ in terms of the VBI, as a gotcha to everyone and to try and show that she is very important and does important fings. It'll be tit and hilarious

It would make my day if Chris mate casually destroys the whole thing in one polite tweet.

 

[Mrs Peel]

79.1K followers so not squigging.

This immediately made me think of a Jack recipe

 

[Lazarus]

So Jack managed 3 posts on instagram with only one being 'food' (sans recipe) before scurrying back to twitter. But who am I trying to kid, she never left. Pathetic.
I clicked on #vimesbootsindex, the first result is from January, the next is Jack saying she kicked it off back then, third one it's 'nearly done' in May.
It's interesting that she'd draw attention to, or perhaps rather attempt to control the narrative about, the recent ONS revelations regarding inflation etc. and Jack's lack of input.

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Remember she said it would take her the weekend?

 

[Smeghead]

Here’s something Which? did a few years ago. It was the first article on a Google search I did now that came up so there’s bound to be loads more like this. As the real analysts here have shown, they have adjusted the costs accounting for inflation. Wonder if our SMOL pixie will do the same?

 

[kachoochoo]

get in! we deserve a good friday chaos

 

[HotesTilaire]

Also, what is this whitish stuff please, what is this brown stuff please, what is that thing in the brown stuff please, and what are those things in between the whitish stuff and the brown stuff with the thing in it? Are the in between things roast potatoes?!

Why does it all look like that? Why is she like this? Why does she do this? It’s all so wrong
View attachment 1632254

Mashed cauliflower- only a monster would do this instead of potato

I bet he didn't like that Big Dave married out.

Papu himself married out! To a local baptist lady!
I’ve moved on from thinking he’s sheriff fat man, now he’s Pops from League of Gentlemen

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Here’s something Which? did a few years ago. It was the first article on a Google search I did now that came up so there’s bound to be loads more like this. As the real analysts here have shown, they have adjusted the costs accounting for inflation. Wonder if our SMOL pixie will do the same?
View attachment 1633196

The "white bread" I'd argue with a little.. I'm assuming they meant fresh from bakery? but your standard packet sliced did a weird thing where it sat years around 42p for branded, 22p for supermarket own, then practically doubled overnight after a "wheat crisis" (maybe 2008?) and never went down again. So a "vbi" will always be difficult in practice.

 

[Emmapism]

Is Jack (she of the multiple CCJs) a budget/inflation expert like her Mum is a master at cooking roasties?

duck me all this expertise in one family. Doesn't seem fair to the rest of us.