Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

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She should just release Jack Monroe's Book of Wanking, she's evidently passionate about the subject and it'd be less awful than either her recipes or poetry
 
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Ken's one of my food heroes - I have a battered old paperback of his from the 80s and every recipe I've tried has been absolutely delicious, and most of them are cheap and nutritious.
Love him so much. He inspired my grandad to start cooking Chinese food! Time served Ken! Chapeau!
 
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Hahaha I love it when she runs off to Instagram and starts posting food pics again. You can almost hear the plan forming in her tiny brain - what a shitshow, I've overshared SO much and everyone is coming for me with my own lies, inconsistencies and sheer ridiculousness. I know! I'll go right back to basics. Get cooking again, post a couple of crappy meal shots. That'll get them thinking I'm back to doing what I'm supposed to do - then I can get right back to posting about my 6 hour shagathons, and how I've turned SB's bedroom that used to be my bedroom into the 60 hours per week manual labourer's room. He used to sleep in a car, you know.
Thing is though the Twitter landscape has changed! Well for her it has, because people are wising up. The old tried and tested methods won't work anymore.
Time to get a real world job Jacksie, and repay your grifted patreon members.
Oh and an apology would also be good 👍
Not holding my breath though...
 
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She should just release Jack Monroe's Book of Wanking, she's evidently passionate about the subject and it'd be less awful than either her recipes or poetry
The end result would be very similar in texture, taste and colour. Just chuck an egg on top and interchangeable herbs
 
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Daily Mail link:

Printed as "news":rolleyes: 7 years ago. All comments negative, except one reply saying she's an amazing cook! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

7 years of negative comments. Makes you think!
 
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Daily Mail link:

This REALLY PISSES ME OFF. I posted a rant about this many threads ago. It's riding roughshod over someone's boundaries and Jack is a bloody disgrace.
 
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I would imagine Jack took her GCSEs. Didn’t pass very many and only scraped through on the ones she got. She didn’t therefore have good enough grades to go onto the sixth form and A levels, which is where Westcliff High takes in girls from other schools to do their A levels. I went to Westcliff girls and did my A levels there
I think she’d (eta Jack said she’d) had the number of GCSE’s she was sitting reduced because she wasn’t doing well. She said at one point she took 7, which isn’t a lot but also isn’t a small amount. If you assume two English, maths and two science plus two options. The half wasn’t an exam one.
 
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It's utterly bizarre to me how much she compartmentalises the social media websites - you look at Twitter and the vibes are "'im taking a break from the hateful internet ARE YOU HAPPY TROLLS" but over on insta she's posting macaroni and cheese 🤷‍♀️

She definitely has a social media addiction - she barely uses insta except when she's not on twitter, it's like she just needs to fill the void with something
Same. I can never get my head around it. It's like when she was doing the Hellman's and del monte stuff with barely (if any) a mention of it on twitter. If I was paying for this, I'd be quite pissed at that.
 
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I'm getting my coat again - my bedroom has no space for drawers so I do in fact hang all my vests and t-shirts. 😬 Don't have a lot of clothes though, so they don't take up much space.
I feel like I no longer belong, especially after all the "somebody and Lucia" stuff* when I had no idea who you were all talking about.
Sniff sniff. Always the outsider. Sniff sniff.
I'll duck off


* PLEASE SOMEONE, TAKE PITY ON THIS PATHETIC SOUL AND GIVE ME A LINK 😘
Haaaa! If one has no drawers one must hang things dear heart. The judgement here is for Jack who does not lack space, wardrobe or otherwise. In fact she has multiple bedrooms and reception rooms and could use one TINY and IN THE EAVES bedroom as a dressing area if she wished. She owns more drawer units than my entire family combined so her ‘space-saving’ is as fake and ridiculous as the rest of her.
Mapp & Lucia are a series of novels from the late 20’s/earth 30’s (crazy nearly 100 years old!) which have been dramatised twice-one in the 80’s and then one more recently-very good and well worth and watch/read/both.
 
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I think she’d (eta Jack said she’d) had the number of GCSE’s she was sitting reduced because she wasn’t doing well. She said at one point she took 7, which isn’t a lot but also isn’t a small amount. If you assume two English, maths and two science plus two options. The half wasn’t an exam one.
There was an exam for the short course RE, don't remember there being coursework.
 
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Presumably, Tits Fiancée (as she’ll be known as going forward) would have been pre-Leggy. So Jack went into the relationship with a lesbian who sent her oyster clitorises, while still exploring a trans identity. I feel that’s something you should tell your partner before you book the moving van and take her down Harvester.

Their relationship sounds absolutely mental and exhausting. Jack must have been like a pig in tit with her new fancy London house and the media connections. I bet once the honeymoon period wore off that went downhill fast.
She had a policewoman fiancée in this article in 2013 as she was “getting married” in 2014. Not sure if she ever claimed to be engaged or getting married to the one she claims was abusive to her while she was pregnant with SB and who used to mock her for not being butch (basically the exact same thing almost verbatim she also accused leggy of mocking her for)
Article TW suicide (again) though she must have forgotten she said this in 2013 because it’s a different version here from the one she told about the same occasion in 2022 but where she “woke up in the bathroom freezing cold”

Re the stealing a scalpel getting secretly expelled thing, she’s contradicted it herself multiple times. In her open letter to Edwina she clearly says she dropped out has also claimed in several places to have been bullied and left

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ETA I know we’ve moved on but I just found the grim string of tweets where Jack calls herself a bleep. It’s actually worse than I remembered
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I don't want to give more airtime to the parody account because this is the Jack thread (no matter how very, very boring she is currently being) but I think we can safely say it's not Jack herself.

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I'm just catching up on a few pages so apologises if this has been mentioned but wasn't the green eggs and ham bake or whatever it is a recipe of that post-it wall of recipes she posted ages ago? I'm sure it was. She said she had soooooo many recipes to choose from for her book. I can't remember what book as Grifty Kitchen has taken 84 years.
I thought this too and just spent an inordinate amount of time scrolling through her media (past the ugly hat phase, and spooooooons, and the dying-my-entire-wardrobe-but-not-actually-my-entire-wardrobe-black era) and found it: green eggs and ham fifth row from bottom in “bread and breakfasts” [insert saccharine tale about slumlord grandpa here]

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Given that the new slop is pasta I assume it’s not breakfast, just another bastardisation and she can literally only pass off her shite cooking with gimmicks so she’s used Dr Seuss for its name again.

Also nobody who has a job with hours of any consequence has time to post as many selfies as she does. She’s such a pathetic attention seeker.

On my scrolls I saw lots of pics of poor Mini and I’d like to call bullshit once and for all on the “I was looking after her for someone else” nonsense.
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Why would you even consider the logistics of spaying and chipping a cat who wasn’t yours? If she was just being looked after there’d be no reason to think about it. That she lies with such ease about tit like this is horrifying. Also she clearly knows it’s dodgy else she wouldn’t lie she’d say that Mini had an accident or got sick or whatever. I’m glad she got reported to the RSPCA. She shouldn’t have animals.
 
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