Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

[ChickenPorridge]

Hahaha I love it when she runs off to Instagram and starts posting food pics again. You can almost hear the plan forming in her tiny brain - what a shitshow, I've overshared SO much and everyone is coming for me with my own lies, inconsistencies and sheer ridiculousness. I know! I'll go right back to basics. Get cooking again, post a couple of crappy meal shots. That'll get them thinking I'm back to doing what I'm supposed to do - then I can get right back to posting about my 6 hour shagathons, and how I've turned SB's bedroom that used to be my bedroom into the 60 hours per week manual labourer's room. He used to sleep in a car, you know.

 

[emeraldopal]

Insta, someone commented "this looks Moroccan" I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. 1) it totally doesn't 2) it has ham in

I think that's a reference to Peep Show where Mark ends up hosting more people than he was expecting and ends up desperately cobbling together some hideous concoction of eggs, baked beans and pasta (I think), and declares it Moroccan. And makes a 'cocktail' with vodka and lettuce. Perhaps Jack turned it on halfway through and thought it was an actual cooking show?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like greens eggs and ham.

Would eat them with a twit?
Would eat them with a tit?

 

[StatusWoe]

I didn't mean to make this picture so unflattering but it's hard to draw in Paint. It's Monroe of the boiler suit and mutant gland.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Hahaha I love it when she runs off to Instagram and starts posting food pics again. You can almost hear the plan forming in her tiny brain - what a shitshow, I've overshared SO much and everyone is coming for me with my own lies, inconsistencies and sheer ridiculousness. I know! I'll go right back to basics. Get cooking again, post a couple of crappy meal shots. That'll get them thinking I'm back to doing what I'm supposed to do - then I can get right back to posting about my 6 hour shagathons, and how I've turned SB's bedroom that used to be my bedroom into the 60 hours per week manual labourer's room. He used to sleep in a car, you know.

And still no recipe attached in all that nonsense.

You're a LITERAL food writer Jack.

 

[HotesTilaire]

“No more please Mummy, no more bread and jam baked greens, eggs and ham baked macaroni vomity stuff, Mummy”


I’m pretty sure “went down a storm” is a euphemism for the massive indigestion as it went through all its victims faster than gooseshit slides through a tin horn (as they say in these here parts).

Never mind one bed left in the house, if three actual people ate that monstrosity, I hope there are at least three toilets and a fuckton of bog roll in the crappy bungalow

EDIT not sure why I spoilered one swear but didn’t even enter my head to do the two others. #BeKind(to Geese), I guess?

I vote that the pasta egg cheese combo caused the opposite effect (for once) save £££’s on T Rolls by ensuring everyone is egg bound and full of carbs with no fibre #frifty

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Do we not think shes hinting at a new partner? household of 3?

Also Ive just been rereading this article with her and Leggy: Jack Monroe and Allegra McEvedy: We’re teaching the kids that food is about more than fuel | Family | The Guardian

And it says she was in Tanzania? I thought that if this was true she would mention it more? Ive literally never heard her talk about working with Oxfam in Tanzania, but maybe Ive only been following the chaos for a short period of time.

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The whole idea of tacos is 'not to get your hands dirty'. It is food you eat with your hands but AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, Mexicans have learned how to do this without making a bleeping mess of themselves.

 

[miss_terious]

who adds hard boiled eggs to macaroni and cheese???

"blooming scrummylicious"

 

[House of Carbonara]

Thankspaceyou so much, I've picked one up for 99p (don't think it's the full collection but I'll start small as I don't read very often).

Was this introduction written about Lucia, or Jack Monroe?

Outrageously pretentious, hypocritical and snobbish, Queen Lucia Ludicrous, ‘as by right divine’ rules over the toy kingdom of ‘Riseholme’ based on the Cotswold Essex village of Broadway Sarfend. Her long-suffering husband Pepino Squig is ‘her prince-consort’, the outrageously camp Georgie Squig is her ‘gentleman-in-waiting’, the village green Twitter is her ‘parliament’, and her subjects squigs, such as Daisy Quantock Space Squig, are hapless would-be ‘Bolsheviks’. In Lucia Ludicrous in London, the prudish erm..., manically ambitious Lucia launches herself into the louche world of London society. Her earnest determination to learn all about insert herself into ‘modern movements’ makes her the perfect comic vehicle for Benson’s Tattle's free-wheeling satire of salon social media society, and of the dominant fads and movements of the 1920s 2020s, including vegetarianism, yoga, palmistry, Freudianism, séances, Post-Impressionist art, shite cooking and Christian Science.

Makes you think!

I *knew* you'd like it!

 

[Mr Krabs]

I got my ex the first one years ago and it wasn't quite that bad (but then again I do browse reddit) it's the xkcd comics bloke. Definitely better than a slop manual.

Didn’t realise it was the xkcd bloke. Haven’t read that comic in years. I remember when all his comics were him cringely chasing after some woman who definitely wasn’t into him.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

An interesting semi viral tweet that feels relevant to Jack and her many, many, many ailments which get rolled out at every given opportunity.

 

[moosesauna]

An interesting semi viral tweet that feels relevant to Jack and her many, many, many ailments which get rolled out at every given opportunity.

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I mean, Josh is kinda correct? My mates with ADHD drift about a lot, not because they don't want to contact but because they're easily overwhelmed with life stuff and often forget to message. I think that awareness of that helps people realise it's not nasty behaviour, it's just a symptom of ADHD?

 

[moldwarp]

“I like breasts, babe” is oft attributed to Leggy however it’s apparently an earlier partner (Jack seems to have blown up two relationships in the same way) because Jack revealed this in the trans/Allegra breakup phase, it’s been attributed to poor Allegra.

Really? I could swear she said it in a context where she was heavily breadcrumbing it was Leggy.

Either way, it always struck me as a profoundly crappy thing to say. It’s entirely reasonable for a lesbian to wish to leave a relationship because their partner was transitioning into a man. Sexuality’s usually not a choice. But the way she said it was, I think, calculated to leave Leggy open to accusations of transphobia.

I really hate it when she breadcrumbs abusive and cruel behaviour by her exes. She does it every single time.

 

[Ablemabel]

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who adds hard boiled eggs to macaroni and cheese???

"blooming scrummylicious"

'Stuffing filled bacon rolls'

What now?

'This looks Moroccan'

I am deceased.

 

[Geetbo]

I really hate it when she breadcrumbs abusive and cruel behaviour by her exes. She does it every single time.

Babe, same x

Especially as I think we all know who the abusive one is likely to have been in all Jacks relationships (speculation your honour.)

 

[Orphan_Black]

Are Jack and her die-hard Squigs going to save money this winter by farting themselves warm?! These people eat too many damn eggs, the honky gooses.

 

[Boyo]

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A new slop! Another recipe in progress! Another insistence on telling us how many people are (supposedly) in her household!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Really? I could swear she said it in a context where she was heavily breadcrumbing it was Leggy.

Either way, it always struck me as a profoundly crappy thing to say. It’s entirely reasonable for a lesbian to wish to leave a relationship because their partner was transitioning into a man. Sexuality’s usually not a choice. But the way she said it was, I think, calculated to leave Leggy open to accusations of transphobia.

I really hate it when she breadcrumbs abusive and cruel behaviour by her exes. She does it every single time.

Some Frau will have a receipt, but I made this same connection back in the mists of the canal and it was disproven.

You’re right though, the timing does sort of breadcrumb Leggy - everyone seems to assume it’s her.

It’s also reductive - what makes you a woman/you/my partner is tits, nothing more. What sort of partner would say that?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Monroe was with Allegra when she started exploring a trans identity. Allegra would have complained about losing her partner's tits, not because she is transphobic but because she is attracted to people with tits. I 100% believe Monroe was talking about Allegra at that time then attempted to backtrack and muddy the waters a bit which is par for the course with her. She runs her mouth off.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I honestly haven't felt the same since seeing chiz on tiz and now I have to come to terms with pork boning tool as well. Is it any wonder I'm traumatised?