Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

[Shawads]

Here’s a much more fitting entrance for you dearest @Shawads I’m always pleased to see you pop up!
View attachment 1628026

On topic: Jack is awful and cannot cook. Or sing. Or do poetry. Or play the piano. Or present. Or earn her own income. Or even talk properly without sounding like her adenoids are about to explode in a tsunami of snot these days.

I thank you. Joey/ me riding in on a white ceramic dog is chef's kiss indeed.
je suis arrivé!

Really enjoying the @Bootstrap_Cook furore and how all the jackstans are tagging #naughtyjack when they tell #griftjack they've reported #naughtyjack thus increasing #naughtyjack's reach even further

When I was drifting off last night I had some fun inventing more parody account names, @bootstrapcock was my top fave, apologies if someone already mooted this un.
I've forgotten all the others ...error....
Boostrapscrock (ashit)?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Remember Jack's oh so quirky hobby of collecting shopping lists? That she was wildly passionate about but never mentioned it before or since?
A more dedicated person has put together an exhibition and book, and has a write up in guardian. Amazing what can be acheived by applying ones self and seeing a project through to completion. View attachment 1628037

Somebody else had done it first and had an article in the guardian about it, coincidentally just eleven days before Jack herself claimed to have discovered old shopping lists as a BRAND NEW THING nobody had ever thought of before (in a puddle. Yes, the puddle giveth once more)

Experience: I collect other people’s old shopping lists | Life and style | The Guardian

If I see a discarded list, I grab it and keep it. There’s one with just ‘Milk’ and ‘Lube’; another with just ‘Celery’

amp.theguardian.com

Also, “portal of puzzle and promise”, and for bonus points a “painstakingly”. What. A. twit. (Again)

(Credit to Sidey B for the screenies)

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Somebody else had done it first and had an article in the guardian about it, coincidentally just eleven days before Jack herself claimed to have discovered it as a BRAND NEW THING (in a puddle. Yes, the puddle giveth once more)

Experience: I collect other people’s old shopping lists | Life and style | The Guardian

If I see a discarded list, I grab it and keep it. There’s one with just ‘Milk’ and ‘Lube’; another with just ‘Celery’

amp.theguardian.com

View attachment 1628048Also, “portal of puzzle and promise”. What. A. twit. (Again)
View attachment 1628047
(Credit to Sidey B for the screenies)

Ugh that was one of my LEAST FAVOURITE Jacks. VOM.

Can someone please tell me what would happen if I WAS attacked by a bacon narwhal only I'm worrying about it thank(space)you in advance.

 

[Chap O]

Do we not think shes hinting at a new partner? household of 3?

Also Ive just been rereading this article with her and Leggy: Jack Monroe and Allegra McEvedy: We’re teaching the kids that food is about more than fuel | Family | The Guardian

And it says she was in Tanzania? I thought that if this was true she would mention it more? Ive literally never heard her talk about working with Oxfam in Tanzania, but maybe Ive only been following the chaos for a short period of time.

View attachment 1627945

Yeah but you also supposed to wash them too.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Ugh that was one of my LEAST FAVOURITE Jacks. VOM.

Can someone please tell me what would happen if I WAS attacked by a bacon narwhal only I'm worrying about it thank(space)you in advance.

You would just eat it. Unless you don’t eat bacon for some reason, in which case you would just get out of the water and make your escape where it couldn’t follow.

Anyway, it wouldn’t attack you in the first place. I saw a narwhal in Elf. They’re kind, thoughtful, altruistic and supportive creatures. Sort of the anti-Jack really.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

You would just eat it. Unless you don’t eat bacon for some reason, in which case you would just get out of the water and make your escape where it couldn’t follow.

Anyway, it wouldn’t attack you in the first place. I saw a narwhal in Elf. They’re kind, thoughtful, altruistic and supportive creatures. Sort of the anti-Jack really.
View attachment 1628061

Thank you dearheart. I'm not sure I could eat a whole one but I can but try, as long as it's not been cooked by Jack...

 

[miss_terious]

Somebody else had done it first and had an article in the guardian about it, coincidentally just eleven days before Jack herself claimed to have discovered old shopping lists as a BRAND NEW THING nobody had ever thought of before (in a puddle. Yes, the puddle giveth once more)

Experience: I collect other people’s old shopping lists | Life and style | The Guardian

If I see a discarded list, I grab it and keep it. There’s one with just ‘Milk’ and ‘Lube’; another with just ‘Celery’

amp.theguardian.com

View attachment 1628048Also, “portal of puzzle and promise”, and for bonus points a “painstakingly”. What. A. twit. (Again)
View attachment 1628047
(Credit to Sidey B for the screenies)

She really does love the word "painstakingly". Wonder if she knows what it means.

I agree but I think everyone does it nowadays, at least she is honest, says its for her and there's no manupulation

I thought it was part of the parody, tbh. Whereas Jack has all these "donate here it's for charity" type fundraisers that go straight to her own pocket, not!Jack is very openly saying "here's a way to give me money if you feel like it" without the whole rigamarole of pretending it's for a Good Cause.

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

I'm getting my coat again - my bedroom has no space for drawers so I do in fact hang all my vests and t-shirts. Don't have a lot of clothes though, so they don't take up much space.
I feel like I no longer belong, especially after all the "somebody and Lucia" stuff* when I had no idea who you were all talking about.
Sniff sniff. Always the outsider. Sniff sniff.
I'll duck off


* PLEASE SOMEONE, TAKE PITY ON THIS PATHETIC SOUL AND GIVE ME A LINK

Babe, same. My ActuallyADHD brain needs everything in front of my face or I’ll forget it exists/won’t be able to find it. I don’t have a lot of stuff, any stuff, for this exact reason and it’s why I always feel the need to reach for the Diazepam whenever I see photos of all the clutter mountains and rammed drawers in Cacks house.

 

[Malkiavelli]

View attachment 1627896
A new slop! Another recipe in progress! Another insistence on telling us how many people are (supposedly) in her household!

She’ll never publish anything related to this again because she knows deep down that throwing left-over veg in a dish, cracking some eggs and grating some cheese over the top and sticking it under a grill, can not be called a “recipe” by anyone. Let alone someone who claims to be a “literal food expert”. *I* could make this, my child could make this, literally *anyone* could make this and with a tad more effort, could likely make it better.
#suchafuckinggrifter

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Paul / pauline calf and mapp and Lucia all remind me of my long ago youth
Not really adding value to the thread but need an in somehow

I had a bit of a crush on Pauline hahahahaha

 

[moldwarp]

She’ll never publish anything related to this again because she knows deep down that throwing left-over veg in a dish, cracking some eggs and grating some cheese over the top and sticking it under a grill, can not be called a “recipe” by anyone. Let alone someone who claims to be a “literal food expert”. *I* could make this, my child could make this, literally *anyone* could make this and with a tad more effort, could likely make it better.
#suchafuckinggrifter

Now hang on. This is the woman who made her recipe debut in the Guardian with a “recipe” for spaghetti with cheese and peas.

Method: Mix spaghetti with cheese and peas.

 

[Madonna_Claws]

Has she already limited the comments or did you do so from the start? I can't see the starve to death comment.

She's softly, gently, painstakingly been on a deleting spree, the humourless moo.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

She really does love the word "painstakingly". Wonder if she knows what it means.
.

Doesn’t know what “bootstrap” means so probably bleeping not, the thick fucker.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Insta, someone commented "this looks Moroccan" I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. 1) it totally doesn't 2) it has ham in

 

[Madonna_Claws]

The rabbit is dead.

Did she make a slop stew out of the bunny when it died? If not, why not? That's the whole raison d'être of her 'career' [sic] after all, nothing goes to waste.

That's a bit tasteless, but then so is her slop. I occasionally look after a rabbit 🔺️, he is a psycho nutter but so sweet and funny. Jack can't have nice things because she doesn't look after them.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I think the trigger that was too much for Leggy was when Jack, like a toddler pushed boundaries for attention and thought being trans would supply it. Maybe Leggy was extra busy at the time actually working. The thing is, Leggy likes the things women have because, well..and said something like I like tits, babe. I don't think Leggy was unreasonable about that.

“I like breasts, babe” is oft attributed to Leggy however it’s apparently an earlier partner (Jack seems to have blown up two relationships in the same way) because Jack revealed this in the trans/Allegra breakup phase, it’s been attributed to poor Allegra.

 

[AnnRKey]

Somebody else had done it first and had an article in the guardian about it, coincidentally just eleven days before Jack herself claimed to have discovered old shopping lists as a BRAND NEW THING nobody had ever thought of before (in a puddle. Yes, the puddle giveth once more)

Experience: I collect other people’s old shopping lists | Life and style | The Guardian

If I see a discarded list, I grab it and keep it. There’s one with just ‘Milk’ and ‘Lube’; another with just ‘Celery’

amp.theguardian.com

View attachment 1628048Also, “portal of puzzle and promise”, and for bonus points a “painstakingly”. What. A. twit. (Again)
View attachment 1628047
(Credit to Sidey B for the screenies)

Well, at least she admitted that she writes entirely fictional stuff.

 

[Vanelope]

I thought it was part of the parody, tbh. Whereas Jack has all these "donate here it's for charity" type fundraisers that go straight to her own pocket, not!Jack is very openly saying "here's a way to give me money if you feel like it" without the whole rigamarole of pretending it's for a Good Cause.

It openly says you are paying the twitter account runner for doing nothing more than tweeting. Really shows up the grift.
Its all content - some people like to tip for that.

chefs kiss would be if in a week they donated it to NOT the Trussel trust

 

[AnnRKey]

chefs kiss would be if in a week they donated it to NOT the Trussel trust

or if they bought THAT MAN's books and donated them to local foodbanks

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Sex mushrooms
View attachment 1627636View attachment 1627637

I am now asexual.