Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

[Bugger13]

Just spotted roadside mum on Twitter-is this snark? I’ve squiggled the first person-RM is the one saying ‘it was another working class woman who brought it to Jack’s attention’.
Also, I know the parody account setting up a ko-fi account is controversial but I bet Jack is fuming. Some of her most gullible squigs could well get confused & contribute thinking they’re paying Jack. Imagine the rage at anyone else getting cash she wants? Ha. The best part is she can’t really comment as it would simply flag up the fact that she begs for money for nothing.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

I HAVE THE PRIMARK GREGGS' CROCS/CREGGS/GROCS

But did a friend quietly leave them on your doorstep or did you find them in a puddle? You can’t just own things that you bought with your own money even if they are Greggs Primarni Crocs. (Going to Google now. I’m thinking sausage roll print but I have no idea what to expect. V exciting.)

 

[LadyGarden]

Something that's been bothering me (apart from Jack's cooking).

• Spaniel Friend has previously confirmed that Jack and SB were living 'in the pov'.
• Jack then confirmed that SF used to take round food and 'press £10 notes' into her baggy/beggy hands.

There's not many working class poverty-stricken single mums with a supportive ex, comfortably-off parents round the corner and a friend pressing gifts of food and money into their hands. "Grinding poverty", my arse.

Jacks 'perm' looked like she'd electrocuted herself removing lightbulbs. Must say my favourite Jack to date was Hopkins Hair Jack. How could she look in a mirror and seriously think "yes, that's the look I was going for". Baffled.

 

[jenny2603]

Agreed. Not ground-breaking but low-level piss-taking works really well against Jacks. You’ll never win a direct argument with a narc so no point being too confrontational and you wouldn’t want to raise too much attention for being a ‘fake’ account so it’s quite a good approach. I’m just enjoying it’s existence as it’s a good sign of things to come.

It's not just that account. I'm seeing her crop up as the punchline to jokes in totally unrelated conversations. She's really, really fucked it this time. She doesn't have the ability to lean into being joke and capitalise on it. There isn't going to be one big thing that takes her down, I'd certainly underestimated the role her terrible food would play in her current woes because she'd got away with it for so long. The financial stuff is going to take much longer to play out, particularly if there are actual journalists looking into it, Jack can slow that down to a degree by not responding but if enough squigs are willing to go on record then it won't stop it altogether.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

In that article she says “I was very young when I had him, so I didn't think a lot about how I'd cope”. If my maths are correct she was twenty two and holding down a demanding job at the time. My mum was sixteen when I was born, that’s very young, twenty two is fairly young to be having a baby in modern Britain, I think the average age of a first time mother is twenty nine, but it’s not very young. She was plenty old enough to understand the impact a baby would have on her life.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

It's not just that account. I'm seeing her crop up as the punchline to jokes in totally unrelated conversations. She's really, really fucked it this time. She doesn't have the ability to lean into being joke and capitalise on it. There isn't going to be one big thing that takes her down, I'd certainly underestimated the role her terrible food would play in her current woes because she'd got away with it for so long. The financial stuff is going to take much longer to play out, particularly if there are actual journalists looking into it, Jack can slow that down to a degree by not responding but if enough squigs are willing to go on record then it won't stop it altogether.

Yeah this is it-like Line of Duty. Very rare it’s one thing-it’s like here-you might start out with one reason you think Jack’s a wrong-in but it soon becomes apparent it’s more than the shite food.

Spoiler: Line of Duty spoiler

There was no H, no over-arching villain, no one ‘bad guy’ or thing that would bust things wide open. It was just a load of self-serving people all with their own agenda contributing to a wider downfall of the system.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Isn’t that done with one of those photo sketchy apps? My daughter was big into turning all our photos into drawings at one point. Look v similar.

Great minds... I looked at it and thought - nah, that's digital manipulation mate, stop lying.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Jack's latest creation is not going down well.

View attachment 1630163

Squig quote for a late entry as thread title nomination?

 

[Helena Handbasket]

I can’t work out how to spoiler an image so apologies for my OT fuckwittery but wanted to assure @FrankReagan that the beloved slider has not been forgotten. Greggs are so inclusive aren’t they?

 

[Madonna_Claws]

we may see the smol pixie driving a train, yet.

Even if she passes all the DFFT, TRP 1&2, Group Bourdon and Tea-OCC tests (possible as she's "forensic" and "autistic"), there's no way in hell she'd pass the psychological and medical what with all her ouchy physical and brain issues.

Plus, railways are *very* *VERY* strict about alcohol and drugs. Even cans in the boot of your car after a supermarket shop before you're on shift at a depot can be a sackable offence 🔺️ Occasional medical/drug tests too, and, as we know, Sarfend seems to have a lot of blizzards. Makes you think.

 

[Wooh]

I’m 5’2.394827392, a size 8-10 and a 30FF. The band is a tad tight and the fucker is shipped off as soon as soon as I’m home. BoB saved me.

Sorry to any Fraus who have read this, but I came across it whilst searching Cack and Leggy, and it’s the most vomiting inducing thing I’ve ever read.

Spoiler: Screenshots

View attachment 1629306

SEVEN YEARS LATER AND SHE STILL AINT TWATTED OUT. As for the last sentence. Eww.

View attachment 1629307

How are they absent parents if they see them regularly and all hang out together? What does that make my kids other biological progenitor, who hasn’t been around for 7 years then, if a few days makes them absent? And yes hun, I’m sure they loved hanging out with you and you didn’t rub Allegra’s wealth in their faces as if it were your own.

[View attachment 1629308

New girlfriend and step daughter? How the duck does that work then?

We chat to 'A Girl Called Jack' author Jack Monroe • Northern Life

When Karen the editor asked if I fancied interviewing Jack Monroe for this issue I was whooping and a-cheering and telling everyone from the mums...

northernlifemagazine.co.uk

Absolute hysterics here. The https://northernlifemagazine.co.uk/jack-monroe article you provided here is published 16 Feb 2015 and states (as you said) keeping kids out of the press.

The Guardian article where A's daughter's face is not in the press but Jack's son IS in the press is dated 15 Feb 2015

Oh, Jack, why are you like this?

Seriously, why?

 

[Baxtyboo]

I’ve just seen a TikTok of Leggy on Steph’s packed lunch. She didn’t wash her hands after touching Rae chicken, and when she was told she had a stinking attitude- don’t know why I’m sharing this other then no one in my real life will have a clue who she is and why I found it interesting

 

[MancBee]

I’ve just seen a TikTok of Leggy on Steph’s packed lunch. She didn’t wash her hands after touching Rae chicken, and when she was told she had a stinking attitude- don’t know why I’m sharing this other then no one in my real life will have a clue who she is and why I found it interesting

A chef family member was being trained by Angela Hartnett and a similar thing happened. When it was pointed out by the lecturer of the college Angela took the huff and walked out. Great in front of a class of youngsters wanting to get into the profession. Must be a thing about chefs not liking their mistakes being pointed out.

Though what Jack's excuse for a bad attitude is anyone's guess; she has told us many a time, she is NOT a chef.

 

[colouredlines]

In that article she says “I was very young when I had him, so I didn't think a lot about how I'd cope”. If my maths are correct she was twenty two and holding down a demanding job at the time. My mum was sixteen when I was born, that’s very young, twenty two is fairly young to be having a baby in modern Britain, I think the average age of a first time mother is twenty nine, but it’s not very young. She was plenty old enough to understand the impact a baby would have on her life.

It's another giveaway to her class background. When I lived in the UK, we were in a poor area and a lot of the girls I went to high school with became mothers very young. Then I went on to university, and entered a middle class environment where having a kid under 25 would have been unfathomable - even under 30 was very unusual.

 

[Wooh]

Someone earlier mentioned there is a photo of topless Jack out there. Yes, I googled it.
But apparently she’d rather scrape her own eyes out with one of her rusty spoons than be a presenter? Jack is, & always has been, desperate for fame and recognition.
I suspect she’s got a napoleon complex (no offence to any 5 foot 1.7 normal people, it only relates to gobby, boring, irritating Jack)

Hahaaaa me too, just now.

And found this

The Brave Man video is a fair portrait of trans life – it does not deserve your rage | Jack Monroe

After coming out as transgender, many things make me feel uncomfortable. A transgender man walking naked through Brighton is not one of them

www.theguardian.com

To which I quote:

"That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit."

 

[Foxvint]

Sex mushrooms
View attachment 1627636View attachment 1627637

Aside from the nuclear cringe - just who is this stuff for?? Who needs a recipe for mushroom on toast? That's not a recipe it's just stating 2 ingredients that frequently go together. And the boasting is grim. Wanting everyone to think she's got a magic muff

 

[CEB1980]

Great minds... I looked at it and thought - nah, that's digital manipulation mate, stop lying.

it’s not, that’s an actual drawing. It’s not too bad either. I’ll slag Jack off for stuff that she does wrong, but that’s a genuinely good little sketch that bears none of the hallmarks whatsoever of photos put through an app.

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

Jacks 'perm' looked like she'd electrocuted herself removing lightbulbs. Must say my favourite Jack to date was Hopkins Hair Jack. How could she look in a mirror and seriously think "yes, that's the look I was going for". Baffled.

View attachment 1630316

I genuinely can't understand that hairdo. I would have been so embarrassed I would have shaved the lot immediately. She must have been off her face. Tim Minchin has better hair and he does it on purpose.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Quit her fire service job because “it’s interently wrong to foist” your child onto other people while you work (ie childcare), in case he ‘ends up becoming damaged like a child in foster care’

View attachment 1630214

Jesus wept this is absolutely disgusting. To compare your parents babysitting to kids having to be taken from their bio families for whatever reason is a new low. 23 isn't "very young" either.

Spoiler: me-rail

I went to a childminder, two nurseries and grandparents helped out as much as possible so my parents could work and pay the mortgage. I bleeping loved it but apparently need to bring it up in my next therapy appointment

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Spoiler: Boob talk

Boob Or Bust frau here. She is actually much bigger than an E cup - I am a 30E with itty bitty titties. A cup size means nothing without the band size - ie an E cup on a 38 band will be much larger than an E cup on a 30 band. Your band should be what you actually measure under your boobs (none of this plus 4 nonsense) and is normally roughly your dress size plus 20. I would put her at a 30, maximum 32 G cup. Here endeth the boob sermon but do check out BOB on Facebook - it's a revelation!

Non boob talk - how has she managed 2 overcooked eggs and 2 undercooked ones on the green pasta thing?

Spoiler: Boobs/dress size talk

The boob or bust thing didn't work for me . I think it depends where you buy bras from, as if a manufacturer takes into account the 'back measurement plus 4/5' thing, then buying a bra based on back measurement alone can mean you end up with one too small. BoB had me at 32J or something, I tried 3 bras of that size and they were rib crushingly tight. I currently wear a 38E (33 back +5) and my dress size is 16/18. I don’t think I've ever seen a photo of Jack where I'd have her down as a 38, not at all. But she may just have had her size way off rather than be lying on this occasion. Maybe.