Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[AlwightDallin]

Yuk. She’s so ungrateful. We used to rent a teeny 2 bed terrace with a bathroom off the kitchen and loved every minute of it. We’d always lived in shared houses and flats-just having our own front door was a buzz! This kind of comment she makes about her housing situation sums her lack of genuine knowledge/experience up-she’d know how lucky she was, draughts, leaks and all if she’d ever experienced the real crappy end of the housing market-space is such a luxury-not to mention gardens and outbuildings. My friend had to keep her kids bikes under her bed because her flat was so high up and so small. It’s tit like that she’ll never understand.

This, totally. I lived in halls at uni that were tiny and damp with a shared bathroom and kitchen covered in mould. When I moved into a 2 bed terrace with my now husband it was £70 a week (20 years ago!) it had dodgy electrics, a dodgy landlord, 1930s broken furniture and a mattress on the bed that had seen more action than a brothel. We could hear the mice scratching in the walls at night and we had to wash our clothes in the bath. At one point we shared a bowl of soup. It was tough but I was determined to pass my degree and get a good job.

I now earn a great wage, live in a lovely house and we are lucky to travel a lot. I do save but I spend a decent amount on trips, events, experiences and anything I think would make the kids happy, because that makes me happy. I don’t buy designer clothes or expensive things as things like that don’t make me any happier. It makes me sad that Jack has so many things - material things - but has never to my knowledge used a penny of her earnings to go to Harry Potter Studios or Disneyland or Tenerife or whatever. At no point has she invested in SB, made happy memories. She’s squandered every penny and every opportunity she’s had handed to her on a plate. Selfishly.

She’s never known struggle, not really. And that’s why she’s never really worked hard. Because it’s never been do or die.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Oh my gosh this is the funniest thread ever!!! The poster who changed their pic to Lorraine Kelly because they wanted to see her in a hat And the drama llama story and pic I'm only a few posts in but already thoroughly entertained, thank you all xxxx

Everyone on here is barking mad in the best way

 

[Orphan_Black]

And they could get their own comedy cookery mini-series where middle-class people have to do a £20 food shop and live on it for a week along with a cupboard full of sardines and rinsed hoops.

No Greggs Sausage Rolls here, what are we? Rich? No. Soggy cardboard and a bollock sausage rolled betwixt, nommmmy.

(I actually have no idea how much a Greggs sausage roll costs.)

 

[Mr Krabs]

Slopadder presents
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Spoiler: TV Version

(thankspaceyou to @heretoreaditall2019 for the diligent pic grab) View attachment 1623276

Spoiler: Smol

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Spoiler: Smoller

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Spoiler: Smollest

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Even smoolest. Jumpsuit by Urban Outfitters.

 

[matchakitkat]

View attachment 1622350

What the duck is this? Who does that head she's wearing belong to?

Apols if it’s already been said tonight but hugeeeeee Vonny energy

 

[Menopausal Stormtrooper]

The bit I don't get is the yellow circle thing towards the top right.

It looks like the remains of a juiced lemon, stuffed inside a ring of red onion. But it can't possibly be... can it?

I think it might be half a passion fruit?
Or considering who we are talking about, you might have been right first time

 

[WhyYouCry?]

The bit I don't get is the yellow circle thing towards the top right.

It looks like the remains of a juiced lemon, stuffed inside a ring of red onion. But it can't possibly be... can it?

Are you familiar with Jack Monroe’s work?

It absolutely can be.

 

[cabbagehead]

My dad met my mum in 1976. To try and show he was a responsible guy she should go out with, he bought a bread knife to make his own sandwiches in order to save money. We still use that bread knife (as in it's been used today) and it looks nothing like any of Jack's.
[/QUOTE]

that's so cute

 

[Geetbo]

Agatha Grifty thinks she’s where she lives in my head, rent free? Jack you live in my iPad where I am aghast at your latest nonsense, day after day for about 2 years now.

I’m praying for a plot twist reveal that Tom Potato Legend is behind the parody account!

Agatha Grifty. Deceased.

 

[SpudYouHate]

I think she's got a nostril timeshare with Daniella Westbrook.

I've seen her irl, and yes, the similarity is becoming staggering.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I don’t mind Jack being in my head at all. My comfort food TV is Peep Show, because no matter how crap my life is, being Mark or Jeremy would be infinitely worse. It’s the same with Jack, her life is awful, she’s completely stuck in her world of diminishing status, slowly becoming an internet era Norma Desmond, desperate to get back to her peak but unable or unwilling to see the world has moved on and she’s become irrelevant. Compared to that my life is just peachy.

 

[RinsingHoops]

Tbf she does live rent-free in my head but it's a house of multiple occupancy and she's confined to the oubliette for most of the day.

Haha, I had to look that up!

Spoiler

a secret dungeon with access only through a trapdoor in the ceiling

 

[whereforartthoupumble]

Agatha Grifty thinks she’s where she lives in my head, rent free? Jack you live in my iPad where I am aghast at your latest nonsense, day after day for about 2 years now.

I’m praying for a plot twist reveal that Tom Potato Legend is behind the parody account!

Agatha Grifty..... get to duck! I'm absolutely gasping. Both lungs gone, fully deceased.

Absolute quality chat today lads, look what happens when you leave us unsupervised Jacksie!

Why you titter?
Jack left twitter.

(sorry sorry mods I know poetry isn't welcome, but hotes has killed me off this may be my last post)

 

[Marj24]

Dead dog sitting on rubble next to either a polluted beach or under an apocalyptic sky, with a mutant sun (or rotten jellyfish?) alongside it… I can imagine the expression that greeted this bowl when Jack’s grubby hands presented it, like a religious offering, to a poor woman just waking up in bed… and it’s not quite joy

"The look of joy on your face this morning makes all this worthwhile" I think Jack may have misread horror for joy.

Spoiler: Large image

 

[usefullyuseless]

Hello, lurker here, just signed up! I don't think that's Jack's writing. It might possibly be Leggy's, but difficult to tell. I would also guess that these aren't her knives. (And yes, the one with the perforated handle is a Global, so quite spendy.)

The first knife is an award from the Observer, as seen with Mom.

 

[terfette]

Yuk. She’s so ungrateful. We used to rent a teeny 2 bed terrace with a bathroom off the kitchen and loved every minute of it. We’d always lived in shared houses and flats-just having our own front door was a buzz! This kind of comment she makes about her housing situation sums her lack of genuine knowledge/experience up-she’d know how lucky she was, draughts, leaks and all if she’d ever experienced the real crappy end of the housing market-space is such a luxury-not to mention gardens and outbuildings. My friend had to keep her kids bikes under her bed because her flat was so high up and so small. It’s tit like that she’ll never understand.

Absolutely. I was thinking about that last night.

Spoiler: me-rail

When my ex and our kids moved back to our home town, the first place we rented turned into a nightmare. The landlord had bodged over several problems before viewing as they do. A year and a month in, I ended up at the council having the following conversation after environmental health refused to come out and see the state of the place. We had no money from constantly replacing clothes and bedding due to how bad the mould was. The boiler was completely broken. We were all sick. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s something I was 100 percent serious about doing

“I’ve got a can of petrol in my van. If someone doesn’t come and see what we are living in, I will send my partnerto my mums with the children and as soon as he gets there, I will set fire to it”

council lady “you know you’ll get in trouble for that”

“yes, it’s arson, I’ll probably go to prison, but then you will have to help my partner and children”

within an hour, environmental health had condemned the property with three pages of category 1 health hazards.

Jack has NO IDEA what desperation is in this situation and it boils my piss reading terms like “crappy bungalow”. She is absolutely clueless

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

The bit I don't get is the yellow circle thing towards the top right.

It looks like the remains of a juiced lemon, stuffed inside a ring of red onion. But it can't possibly be... can it?

That is a passionfruit, tender one.

 

[Jelly Bean]

What was the daft sod thinking promoting the parody account Nigella is a daft sod too but she would either ignore it or laugh with it.
They've gained about a thousand followers since this morning.
She needs to accept she has lost control of twitter. Yes she still has her increasingly strange supporters but more and more people are just openly laughing at her humourless pomposity

 

[Mr Krabs]

View attachment 1623310
Ive already posted this but can never, ever see this picture without thinking that she thought of herself as some sort of version of this…

Spoiler

View attachment 1623338Cosplaying a bargain basement budget smol pixie version of Julia Roberts tinkerbell. With inexplicable sherbet dips.

She reminds me more of this. (This one is for people who were on the early internet).

 

[Valiofthedolls]

"The look of joy on your face this morning makes all this worthwhile" I think Jack may have misread horror for joy.

Spoiler: Large image

View attachment 1623407

I imagine poor Louisa looking like this painting my Nan had in her house when I was a kid with tears dripping down her sorrowful despairing face. Then having presented it Jack completely ignoring her and tweeting Louisa’s delight in receiving it to the masses.