MADE IT!!
What a rollercoaster. I actually had to make notes along the way so I could discuss a few things.
1. Pissed off with her "I was one of those kids who was ambushed at a young age by the media representation of what an ideal weight should be". No
tit, Sherlock, we all were and our kids still are. It's a universal age-old problem that's likely not going away any time soon and it is NOT unique to you, I'm afraid.
2. In her long laundry list of things she's accomplished and/or is busy with, the honorary doctorates, well..... Isn't the point of an honorary doctorate that it is given to the recipient as a gesture but that person hasn't actually had to study or do work for it? In that case I might say I ran the London marathon twice but just buy the medals off eBay.
3.
@PennyLoafer Happy new house! I hope you've been exploring your garden and fruit trees with glee while you enjoy the sanctity of a cup of tea. Any sign of a wisteria yet?
4. OT but in the arena of makeup and hair stuff - I regret to inform that Hard Candy nail polish is no longer a thing.... Seems it disappeared in the early 2000s but made a comeback of sorts with Walmart under the same name, however it's nowhere near as cool and niche looking and the range doesn't even have flipping nail polish. As regards hair dye remover, I have used a salon brand removal kit off eBay a couple of times in the last few years and it's super. Smells a little bit but does the job beautifully and my hair feels good afterwards, it's called Zalon pro London.
Now I have really got to do some work!