Jack Monroe #408 All those blue ticks holding her up like Simba

[UnPickled]

'Chef' This is what really punches my pumble! I know chefs and they are trained and hard working! How does this chancing grifter fall under this job description?

I'm pages behind and only call myself a former line cook (because I recognise there's a difference, I'm not 'trained', I can chop things and have an out of date food hygiene certificate) BUT it super frustrated me when she posted some kitchen with loads of islands saying 'Imagine how long it would take to clean!' and I'm like... That's smaller than the last kitchen I worked in, 3 people could easily bang it out in 45 minutes, if they'd just been continuously cooking there for the past 12 hours. Because we bleeping did.

There may be more of these, I am full of wine.

 

[usefullyuseless]

I’ve just had a browse on her IG and was surprised to see that in the past, some of her food has actually been solid. At what point did she switch to pure slop?

ETA obviously it still looked rank… but it was solid!

i think she thinks telling people to 'very finely slice' things and then boil them to death makes her sound cheffy when actually it just turns a lot of things to mush.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I'm pages behind and only call myself a former line cook (because I recognise there's a difference, I'm not 'trained', I can chop things and have an out of date food hygiene certificate) BUT it super frustrated me when she posted some kitchen with loads of islands saying 'Imagine how long it would take to clean!' and I'm like... That's smaller than the last kitchen I worked in, 3 people could easily bang it out in 45 minutes, if they'd just been continuously cooking there for the past 12 hours. Because we bleeping did.

There may be more of these, I am full of wine.

Babe, same (full of wine). I've not been a chef or professional cook but I am a foodie and have loved cooking, recipe books, magazines etc since I was a teenager and she just cannot cook. There's nothing on her work that shows any inkling of enjoying food, being interested in food, understanding the chemistry and sheer bleeping joy of cooking, texture and taste. SHE. CANNOT. COOK. and every day that goes past that a professional chef bigs her up is one too many.
As Matt of the Forearms says, "Terrible"

 

[Snotbuster]

Smells like transphobic. There are plenty of retired arseholes blogging their thoughts. I wanna see publishing!

Yeah. The bloggers about me page is something. Something.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

There's nothing on her work that shows any inkling of enjoying food, being interested in food, understanding the chemistry and sheer bleeping joy of cooking, texture and taste. SHE. CANNOT. COOK. and every day that goes past that a professional chef bigs her up is one too many.
As Matt of the Forearms says, "Terrible"

I think it's safe to say Jack Monroe's culinary skills and appreciation for food are at the same place as her ethics. In other words, at the bottom of the bleeping swamp.

Hopefully this turns into a permanent cancellation so that with that grifter out the way, there's space for both legit poverty campaigners and genuine frugal cooks rather than a cosplaying conwoman.

 

[Mr Krabs]

IIRC she fell down the stairs of one of her many homes. This was some time in the post-Allegra pre-Tattle era, I'm sure there are some sad boot pics on her Insta somewhere but don't wanna wade through slop to find them right now.

Weird how she always has such terrible misfortunes when she’s been dumped. Post-Allegra she broke thousands of bones in her feet and had three heart attacks. Then after LJC LEFT she had the sparkly black eye and the hair that fell out in clumps. Unfortunate.

Anyway, Vlad knows I have an interest in celeb gossip and served me this wonderful ad. Reminded me of those net worth sites.

 

[UnPickled]

I still find it astonishing that she never mentioned trolley.co.uk - they track all the supermarket pricing data that would be needed to compile the VBI if it actually existed. As far as I know, they reached out to her (more than once) but was ignored!

They were struggling with funding recently-ish (all sorted now, I think?) and it absolutely could have been a heavenly partnership... If she was willing to say 'hey give these guys some cash for being so awesome'. Which she would absolutely not do.

 

[OhGnoes]

Smells like transphobic. There are plenty of retired arseholes blogging their thoughts. I wanna see publishing!

And theres also

In 2014, a Jewish Zionist organization made complaint about a small number (reduced on examination by the Bar Standards Board at first to 7 and then, at tribunal hearing, to 5) out of the (over 150,000) tweets tweeted by Ian Millard since 2010, as a result of which he was disbarred in England in October 2016.

Which is...something.

 

[Emmapism]

I still find it astonishing that she never mentioned trolley.co.uk - they track all the supermarket pricing data that would be needed to compile the VBI if it actually existed. As far as I know, they reached out to her (more than once) but was ignored!

It suits her better to say 'its meticulous work and it will take AGES' because that helps with the grift.

We all know she was never going to produce the VBI. Not least of all because it's beyond her capabilities. She just hoped enough time would pass that people would forget. Or do what many did and assume that it already existed.

@Tin Can Crook in your very forensic work summary you forgot that it takes Jack hours to complete even the most basic of tasks. A shopping list it would take a regular non maverick person minutes to assemble takes Jack four hours. A 5 min TV spot? 3am wake up call and a day of prep. It takes a lot of work to sound that crappy and unprofessional.

 

[Madonna_Claws]

Sorry if already posted but I recall Jack saying the bookcases were from Argos - she bought around seven in one go. I'm presuming they are these (or similar), and they were *definitely* not 60 quid at the time, probably half that a few years ago.

Actually, the bookcases look more like the 'narrow' ones, which are currently £48. Flat-pack furniture has gone up horribly recently and, to cut Jack some slack (nope, still haven't got the handle of this snark lark... ) they were not these kind of prices a few years ago, probably closer to £30. Still a lot to fork out in one go when you're impoverished. Makes you think.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Never forget though, in her own words, Jack is “neither a celebrity nor a chef”, a phrase so perfect we made it a thread title.

(Screenie from lovely @Silver Linings )

 

[auntylil]

Yeah a few Fraus feel that way
They can duck off x

Cannot stand TJ. Something to do with a programme I watched on him many years ago (it had almost the same effect as the Jimmy Saville programme, when you could tell he was a wrong'un - not that I'm tarring TJ with the same brush, of course!). Ugh, he makes me shudder and not in a sexual way!

The gifs do make me laugh, but that's only because I can't hear him singing. But just for you Hotes, I'm bleeping off and I'll let myself out.

(Also I'm 66 so can't be accused of not liking TJ because I'm too young to understand. Give me rock and metal instead of old croony <crooney? as in singing, crooning, not croney...then again...> fogies like TJ any day.)

PS on topic, Jack Monroe is still a grifter
PPS Jack, Monroe rhymes with Potato. Did you plan something from the start?

View attachment 1616907

Must apologise, but doing that made me laugh like a drain. Ahem.

Omg funniest thing EVER! ~LITERAL~ ART! hehehe

 

[Lucky Escape]

They were struggling with funding recently-ish (all sorted now, I think?) and it absolutely could have been a heavenly partnership... If she was willing to say 'hey give these guys some cash for being so awesome'. Which she would absolutely not do.

Yeah, they'd been scraping pack shots & product info from the supermarket websites - but it turns out that you need to pay for a commercial feed to be able to re-use those legally. I believe they found a friendly benefactor in the end (though I don't think they've actually said WHO the sponsor is, which is a bit weird)... https://www.trolley.co.uk/save-trolley/

I only know this because I'd done a bit of googling for stuff to talk to her about when I was messaging her on Tinder.

...but if I'd managed to do 15 minutes of research out of pure thirstiness, then why the duck couldn't she when it's supposed to be a core part of what she claims her job is?!

 

[ForgettyBetty]

U

Sorry if already posted but I recall Jack saying the bookcases were from Argos - she bought around seven in one go. I'm presuming they are these (or similar), and they were *definitely* not 60 quid at the time, probably half that a few years ago.View attachment 1617021

I bought some of this range in 2017 (they're actually really decent quality for "flat pack") I have attached clips of my Argos receipts for you (forensic)

 

[Sketchy]

Oof! After being called out so publicly - and by so many - I'm imagining R Jack is now experiencing that shocked/frozen-to-the-spot feeling when your head goes all numb. But it could all have been so easily avoided had she not been so far up her own arse.
She just got far too big for her own boot(strap)s.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Over on the other site, they have a thread called “Jack Monroe Off Twitter” and it’s tickled me coz it works on two levels

 

[BlendedSlop]

I've met stuntpeople who've fallen down stairs fewer times than Jack FFS.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Imagine if she came back super professional and started sharing some VBI numbers? Tbf she could entirely fabricate it all and ppl would lap it up.

Or imagine if we got some sort of Hailey Beiber my truth confessional video podcast with James O’Brien.

 

[UnPickled]

Babe, same (full of wine). I've not been a chef or professional cook but I am a foodie and have loved cooking, recipe books, magazines etc since I was a teenager and she just cannot cook. There's nothing on her work that shows any inkling of enjoying food, being interested in food, understanding the chemistry and sheer bleeping joy of cooking, texture and taste. SHE. CANNOT. COOK. and every day that goes past that a professional chef bigs her up is one too many.
As Matt of the Forearms says, "Terrible"

Yes!! You want a risotto in 15 minutes and can't stir for bleeping ages? ORZO. I lightly fry onion and garlic, then add orzo and stock, then kale and peas. One pot wonder. Barely need to look at it. Yes it's more expensive than most pasta, yes, it's not 'rice'. Is it more like risotto than microwave basmati with fish and packet soup?!?! Yes. Is it done when the 32p garlic bread side is out the oven? Yes, yes it is. Aaah!

Don't even get me started on her un-fuckable pizza dough recipe. Warm, but not too hot water. No other reference points. No 'the sort of warm water you'd happily wash a baby in'. Nothing, just warm but not *too* hot. You know how to mess up pizza dough? Getting so worried about too hot that you make too cold. And adding extra dough instead of extra flour because you don't proof read.

I have suppressed many rants.

 

[FrankReagan]

Yeah, they'd been scraping pack shots & product info from the supermarket websites - but it turns out that you need to pay for a commercial feed to be able to re-use those legally. I believe they found a friendly benefactor in the end (though I don't think they've actually said WHO the sponsor is, which is a bit weird)... https://www.trolley.co.uk/save-trolley/

I only know this because I'd done a bit of googling for stuff to talk to her about when I was messaging her on Tinder.

...but if I'd managed to do 15 minutes of research out of pure thirstiness, then why the duck couldn't she when it's supposed to be a core part of what she claims her job is?!

Forgive me, but I’d always assumed Tinder chat would be… racier. Now that I know it can be about groceries, I’ve got a much more wholesome image in my tiny mind. Now duck off x