Jack Monroe #408 All those blue ticks holding her up like Simba

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I’ve just had a browse on her IG and was surprised to see that in the past, some of her food has actually been solid. At what point did she switch to pure slop?

ETA obviously it still looked rank… but it was solid!
 
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I honestly feel a bit faint. A house of 6 mostly-kinda-hoarders here and we can't begin to even hold a birthday cake candle to her cluttering, LET ALONE her spending. How can she possibly justify this, even to herself?!!
She is dedicated to making the crappy bungalow an homage to the Theresa May Downing Street years. John Lewis and the Cotswold Company are her aspirational heroes.
 
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Did they DIE
No, they are alive. They live where they’ve always lived. In her MIND.

I know this is harking back to a previous thread which I don’t think is encouraged anymore but I was Grunking and was shocked to see her darvo-ing not one but TWO friends in ICU (surely a slim chance of having two at the same time unless she had them both round for dinner?) which would be hugely traumatic in and of itself, only then to dismiss those two poor feckers to their fate and claim that hermate had just “topped himself” seriously NO ONE uses that language about a loved one!!!!

What will she do without Twitter tho?? It was her last remaining place of fame and the prime focus of her snowy energy. What will she do now that she can’t shout self-aggrandisement and abuse out into the ether? Where will all that toxic energy go?? Will it shoot up into the sky and create a massive toxic cloud over Sarfend? Will it create random fires and explosions like Carrie at the prom in the Stephen king book? I need to know goddammit!
 
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That might have been when she broke 46 of the 26 bones in her foot.
Correction:

47 bones

Screenshot_20220930-221250_Opera.jpg


 
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Jack: stop trying to make the Vimes Boots Index happen, it's not going to happen. There's an obvious difference between buying boots to last vs buying food
 
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I’ve just had a browse on her IG and was surprised to see that in the past, some of her food has actually been solid. At what point did she switch to pure slop?

ETA obviously it still looked rank… but it was solid!
I have images of the Simpsons episode with Skinner turning into the strict Skinner after he was stuck in a pool of worms overnight- is there a Jack slop origin event??
 
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This is the thing that really bothers me. She repeatedly bullies and harasses people with much smaller followings than herself and twists the situation so that others post this stuff. Completely ignoring the fact she's just as bad, if not worse.

Screenshot_20220930_221732.jpg
 
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I am central european and I am actually offended at the bolognese+some extra herbs and spices = gulas.
What's next? Take slice of bread, shape into cups and grill. Et voilà a yorkshrire pudding


#lovefoodhatewaste but her recipes have lots of wastage!
Why does Jack get a pass for desecrating other cultures' treasured dishes? Seriously. That stewed steak/canned mandarin orange thing--I know that some Brazilian, Cuban dishes use orange, chili, black beans, and beef. And they are lovely dishes. But canned mandarin oranges, stewed steak and beans are so far from their South American counterparts that calling its origin Brazilian is a slap in the face. Ditto cacio e pepe from hoops, chicken oat congee, and all the other poor dished Jack bastardized. It's like when medieval artists tried to draw animals they had only heard about but never seen. I bring you a hippopotamus:
 

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Correction:

47 bones

View attachment 1616992

FFS, Jack! Soda bread is meant to rise about three times more than that! How can she possibly get that wrong? And why has she made it in that log shape, rather than dividing it into farls?!

For someone who thinks she's "Norn Irish" round the edges, she's completely clueless!
 
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Paging @Mendacious Trumpet - this is just meant to be your profile pic!!

EDIT: Doh, the sharp eyed trumpet beat me to it by 12 minutes, that'll teach me to think 'I'm only 2 pages behind, I'll post that straight away'!
I was two pages behind when I pounced on it like a greedy goblin. 😆

Thanks for the heads up though! 👍 Now duck off! x

Edited because I felt bad calling Falkor "Pal". Sorry Falkor.
 
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Jack: stop trying to make the Vimes Boots Index happen, it's not going to happen. There's an obvious difference between buying boots to last vs buying food
The only way you can realistically do it is by systematically getting a list of the price of a specific set of products across multiple shops and then tracking them over an extended period of time, followed by some pretty hefty statistical analysis to separate the signal from the noise.

I honestly cant think of anything less suited to her skillset, whatever that might be. The ONS, on the other hand, its their bread and butter.

Any half competent software engineer could put together a decent first version of it in a few hours, by which point she'd have got as far as wondering why all her receipts are now just blank scraps of paper.
 
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Sorry if already posted but I recall Jack saying the bookcases were from Argos - she bought around seven in one go. I'm presuming they are these (or similar), and they were *definitely* not 60 quid at the time, probably half that a few years ago.
Screenshot_20220930-222910_Chrome.jpg
 
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Correction:

47 bones

View attachment 1616992

I realise this is hyperbole but there are *26* bones in your foot, and given the way David Beckham was limping after *fracturing ONE* metatarsal (prior to the 2002 world cup) maybe the author could shut the duck up
 
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I still find it astonishing that she never mentioned trolley.co.uk - they track all the supermarket pricing data that would be needed to compile the VBI if it actually existed. As far as I know, they reached out to her (more than once) but was ignored!
1. Would involve replying to a kind email/tweet - famously, not something Jack can be bothered with
2. They would provide data. Then she’s be expected to look at it. And draw factual conclusions. Famously, not something Jack can be bothered with
3. People think she actually did it so why bother
4. You know this is Jack we’re talking about?
 
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